Feb 13 2017
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There are people in the world who live to be over a 100+. Researchers have discovered that these people share some very distinct, common traits. Learn and benefit from that reseach here.
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Feb 09 2017
Can Depression be As Dangerous As Being Fat? – Vol. 400, February 9, 2017
The World Health Organization states that 350 million people worldwide are affected by depression. Depression has been found to be a risk factor in cardiovascular diseases. This according to Professor Karl-Heinz Ludwig from Technical University of Munich as reported int thesun.co.uk.
The question that was being asked was what was the relationship between depression and other risk factors such as tobacco smoke, high cholesterol levels, obesity or hypertension?
Professor Ludwig did a study of 3,428 male patients between the ages of 45 and 74 to find out.
He said that depression accounts for about 15% of cardiovascular deaths.
So, depression is a major health risk for many people. However, depression isn’t that easy to diagnose. Just because a person looks depressed, doesn’t mean that they have the mental health type of depression. There are many other ways that people can have a depressed state of being.
My suggestion is for people to have their hormonal levels checked first. If your thyroid is slowed down the entire system can become depressed.
People with leaky gut, will not metabolize their food correctly, which will leave them unable to form the amino acids necessary for the development of neurotransmitters.
If one is eating a lousy diet, without the total constellation of vitamins and minerals necessary to feel positive and energized, this too can cause something that looks like depression.
And, sometimes people are just sad. Maybe they had a loss in the family, and are feeling down.
So, check into these causes of depression as well, because it is important to get to the cause of the problem, before treating it in a misinformed manner.
Feb 06 2017
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Nobody is perfect, however when you try to be, you hold yourself and others up to an impossible standard. That equals a perfect loss for all involved. Learn about the 9 signs of perfectionism and the how to let it go and be authentic.
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Feb 02 2017
How To Help A Child Going Through A Difficult Time Feeling Sad – Vol. 399, February 2, 2017
Unfortunately, we live in a world where the pharmaceutical companies would like you to believe that normal human emotions are no longer allowed to be felt without some drug being seen as the solution. However, drugs are not the solutions in most cases, because these drugs have been found to only work as well as a placebo by both Irving Kirsch of Harvard University and his colleague Walter Brown, of Brown University over 30 years of study.
I would go as far as to say that if we do not allow our kids to understand what normal human feelings are and how to regulate them, we will have a generation of adults that never know how to deal with their emotions. The difficulty with that, is that one has to have the ability to feel one’s emotions to have respectful loving relationships. Our emotions are there to teach us something that we need to learn. Without them we don’t know how to help ourselves.
So, how does one help a child who is going through a tough time?
It begins with being willing to ask the questions that are necessary to find out what is going on with your child. Note the behaviors that you have noticed lately, maybe saying something like, “You don’t seem to be your usual self, is there something going on that I may be able to help you with?” And then you allow as long a pause as necessary for your child to answer you.
Once your child gives you the answer, your job is to listen intently for what they tell you they are feeling. You are going to need to do this from the perspective of understanding that every human including yourself has feelings, and they are what they are, so just accept what your child is telling you, is what they are feeling.
Think about how you feel when someone is validating of your feelings, versus when they sit there and tell you that you aren’t feeling what you are feeling. Healing only happens with validation, so that is the next step. Validate their feelings.
Next, go ahead and ask your child what s/he would like to see happen to help resolve the matter. It is amazing how smart our kids are when we allow them to tell us what will help them to feel better. It may be that they need you to do something for them, or it may be that they need you to help them come up with a plan of action to help resolve the issue. Which ever way it goes is fine. Never, ever push your solutions onto them, because that will only push them away.
In families where divorce has taken place when the child was younger then a teenager, many times they feel they were to blame. That there was something that they did or could have done to stop it, but we adults know that is not the case. So, please take the time to explain that to your child. If a pet of theirs has died, ask them what they need to be at come to terms with its passing. Let them know that you are also sad with the loss of a loved pet.
If the problems are deeper then these sorts of issues, it may be that they could use some counseling. But, in my experience, the most necessary gift that you can give you child, is to care enough about them to love them unconditionally. Respect their feelings and allow them to come up with the solutions that will help them the most. Our biggest problem as adults is that we always think we know what is best, and I am here to tell you that many times we get it wrong, because we have our own agendas and don’t even recognize it
Jan 30 2017
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:48 — 8.1MB)
Our relationships are more important to our health than food or exercise. Learn how to maximize the benefit from this very important aspect of your life.
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Jan 26 2017
9 Signs You Are A Perfectionist & Why You Want To Let Go of “Perfectionism” – Vol. 398, January 26, 2017
Professor Gordon Flett of York University co-authored a study on perfectionism. He found that perfectionists have a higher risk of experiencing suicidal thoughts, while being able to hide them from others. If they do try to commit suicide, they use those perfectionistic ways to plan and carry it out. Given these traits of perfectionists, perhaps you would see the benefit of letting go of your perfectionistic tendencies. Before we got there however, lets find out what perfectionism is all about.
So, what is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the need to be or to appear perfect. Perfectionist are detailed oriented, highly organized and are only happy with being “the best” at anything that they do.
Professor Flett states that perfectionist tend to “experience helplessness, psychological pain, life stress, overgeneralization, and a form of emotional perfectionism that restricts the willingness to disclose suicidal urges or intentions.”
If you consider yourself a perfectionist, I bet you find yourself “down” on yourself more often then you would like to admit. I bet you also find it very difficult to find people that live up to your standards, disappointment in others being the rule.
I find with my perfectionist clients that resentment is the end result in too many of their relationships, making it hard for them to trust or believe in other people. This brings about feelings of loneliness. However, perfectionist do their best to hide these feelings as well, always wanting to be appreciated for who they pretend to be.
Here are 9 signs of perfectionism according to Professor Flett:
1. You can’t stop thinking about a mistake that you made.
2. You are intensely competitive and can’t stand doing worse then others.
3. You either want to so something “just right” or not at all.
4. You demand perfection from other people.
5. You won’t ask for help, believing that you will be perceived as flawed.
6. You will persist at a task long after other people have quit.
7. You are a fault-finder who must correct other people when they are wrong.
8. You are highly aware of other people’s demands and expectations.
9. You are very self-conscious about making mistakes in front of other people
So, what can you do about this trait, if you are ready to let it go?
First, understand that there isn’t a perfect person on this planet. Yes, there are some people who are better at many things then others, but no one is “perfect.”
Second, think about what it is that you are doing to yourself holding on to this impossible standard. If you are finding yourself resentful and lonely, distrustful and fearful, you have to ask yourself how this is working for you? My guess is that it isn’t working for you at all.
My eating disordered clients were the ones who taught me most about the pain that they live with being perfectionists. These were mostly young women in their mid to late 20’s who felt that their lives were already over, and yet they had barely begun their lives, given the average life span of women being 81 years old (CBS News, 2016).
So, how about you take a different approach to life. How about you start allowing yourself to be what I call “imperfectly perfect?” What I mean by this is for you to allow yourself to excel at those things that you are indeed great at, while allowing yourself to let go of the persona that you must be the best at everything that you try in life.
In terms of being able to trust people, it is important to realize that if you can’t even live up to your own expectations, that it is putting you into a double bind to expect anyone else to be able to live up to those standards. Double binds mean you lose regardless of the outcome.
I would also suggest that you get in touch with that real true aspect of who you are as a person, a real person. Let that person out, because that is the person that is going to be able to relate to other people in a “real” and “transparent” manner. It is only through being true to who you are that you are going to be able to create real friendships, Because, pretending to be someone who you are not, is only going to allow you to find “friends” who don’t even know who you are, and you really can’t consider that person a “true” friend,” can you?
I know from working with my clients that it can be very difficult to just allow yourself to be you. I always have them do the “mirror” exercise, where they look themselves in the mirror and find all their good qualities. I have never had a client who couldn’t find some very pleasant aspects to their faces and bodies, areas that they really liked. This is the beginning of creating self-love and self-respect. This is the beginning of allowing people to appreciate you for you because you are allowing you, to appreciate you for who you really are, and it is a great feeling to allow yourself.
Secondly, when with people be yourself, say your truth, in the same manner that you would want someone to speak to you. Be non-judgmental and compassionate this being where all true relationships occur. This can be very scary for a perfectionist who is used to hiding the “true self,” I know. However, I can tell you that my clients have been able to build much deeper and more loving relationships by being willing to take this step. They are always shocked at how this goes over, because they find that the person with whom they are finally having a “real” conversation is so appreciative of finally getting to know the real person. This is because they always felt a barrier between themselves and the client. And that’s the deal. You may not realize it, but others do in fact feel you defenses by not letting them in to who you really are, because maybe you never really speak your truth. Well, I am inviting you to see how this works for you. Because in the end you will find that you are less alone, more able to get along with others, resentment goes down and appreciation for those who are in your life goes up. What do you have to lose to try it out?
Jan 23 2017
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 11:16 — 10.1MB)
Divorce affects more than 50% of the married couples in the world. Get some advice on the best way to survive and then thrive from this traumatic event from Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck, who is a divorcee herself.
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Click the above link if you have found value in this podcast and wish to support it.