Nov 09 2023

How An African Woman Made Her Dream Come True to Launch Her Career- Vol. 651, November 9, 2023

Today I would like to share a story of one young African woman’s determination to launch her career regardless of the challenges that needed to be overcome to make that happen.

I met this young woman at my Master’s program in Peace and Conflict Management at the International School of the University of Haifa. She was far away from everything she knew in the small village she calls home in Cameroon.

She was in a country with a different language, full of Jewish people who did things very differently than her native Christian believers did back in Cameroon. The work week in Israel is Sunday through Thursday with Friday night at sunset being the start of Shabbat with all Jewish businesses including the taxis stopping operation to get ready for the Shabbat at 4 PM on Fridays. Saturday all the Jewish shops and services are closed till Saturday at Sunset when Shabbat ends.

We were located in Haifa, Israel so with a large Muslim population that lives there, and still my second week in Isreal I had gone to the Muslim section and found that there was no way back to the campus without the help of a Palestinian to tell the school representative where to pick me up. He stayed with me for 45 minutes till I was picked up. This was my first encounter with a Palestinian in Israel outside the university. Given the events of today, it is important that I demonstrate that Palestinians are kind people. It is their leaders that cause the problems for them and everyone else.

This young woman was able to navigate her way through the two years she was at the university completing her studies and then went home to Cameroon. She got married and had a baby which made her very happy, but there was something missing. That something was her desire to do something of real value for her people back home with her career.

Over the course of two years, she applied to universities to further her education but she did not have the money for the English tests she needed to take being from what was a French colony with French being the main language along with her native African language. This even though she had gained entry to an English-based international university far from her home previously.

Last week we were messaging on WhatsApp when she informed me that she was leaving for Washington D.C. in two weeks to do a fellowship at the American Red Cross.

One of her dreams was to visit the US even though I did my best to inform her of the destructive politics and degrading of the cities over the time I had no longer lived there. She was determined to see what the US had to offer and she found a way to get there and find out for herself.

The main lesson here is that one needs to have clear goals and never allow them to be dismissed just because reaching them is a hard thing to make happen. This is even if the goal is a bit ambiguous because one never knows what opportunities will show up to bring one where one wanted to go in the first place.

I am very proud of this young woman who will never allow anything to deter her from reaching her goals. Where she will go after her 18 months in the US is anyone’s guess, but she is building her resume to build her career and that is admirable.

Nov 02 2023

Addictions: How To Overcome Your Addictions – Vol. 650, November 2, 2023

You know there are many types of addiction out there. The Kabbalists speak to those addictions of things such as: always thinking you are right, believing that others owe you, believing that you are more important than you are, etc.

What I have found in my hypnosis practice, understanding that it is our mind that creates our illusion of what we feel reality is – that is most important in letting go of any addiction.

One needs to know that there is a cause for the addiction – some sensitizing event that caused enough pain (emotionally usually, however with the increase in opiate overdoses, one has to include physical pain as well). There is a purpose to holding on to the addiction, like not having to deal with negative emotions, negative self-talk, etc. And, then one needs to make up one’s mind that the addiction is not really helping them, but slowly killing them. So, one needs a ‘compelling future’ that is more important to them on a visceral strongly felt level, than holding on to the secondary gains of having the addiction (not feeling those feelings or not having those negative thoughts) to let the addiction go. One’s mind is the most powerful tool one has, and it is very sad that kids are not taught how to employ it for their health, well-being, and sense of purpose which brings fulfillment and contentment in life.

Oct 26 2023

How Do I Stop Being Cynical With Everything That Is Happening in This World? Vol 649 – Oct. 26, 2023

Many years ago I studied Kabbalah and one of their best teachings (though there were many) was to allow yourself to live your own life as the chaos happens around you, as it need not affect you if you don’t allow it in.

This is the way you achieve that goal from my perspective anyway – and trust me as a hypnotist, I care very much about what I allow into my subconscious/unconscious mind for that is the part of the mind that ‘runs’ us, the conscious mind only believes it does, but if it did we wouldn’t be doing those things we no longer want to be doing and would be doing those things we can’t seem to get ourselves to do.

Practical Suggestions:

Take some time every morning before you get up and start your day to focus on what you want to achieve during that day. For example, I am in the process of rebuilding my business to leverage it by creating both live and online courses – trust me there is a ton to learn and a ton to do. On top of that I have a few papers to write for the Master’s program I am currently in so I need to focus on that as well. So, the suggestion here is to focus on what you are creating for your life instead of the chaos around you.

Take some time to meditate or do self-hypnosis so that you can have a clear and stable emotional space from which to work.

Get some physical activity every day because our bodies were never met to stay in a seated position for hours a day. Your ligaments need to be lubricated and your lymph system needs movement to get the toxins out of your body.

Drink plenty of fresh clean water without anything added to hydrate you and that will keep you from overeating as well as keep your mood up because dehydration brings on depressed feelings.

Eat healthy one-item foods that you put together for your meals like your grandma did in the old country. Stay away from the prepackaged crap and fast foods that are made of anything but nutritious ingredients. They are made of crap and will rot your gut out while leaving your body malnourished – never good for the development of neurotransmitters we require to keep our minds functioning the way they were meant to.

Get enough sleep every night so you awaken full of energy.

Make sure the environments in which you work and live are healthy and positive. If not, change them for your own well-being.

And, mostly keep your mind focused on those things that you are grateful for and those things that you are working on bringing into your own life that you care very deeply about and feel a sense of meaning in.

If you take these suggestions, the chaos of the world won’t touch you – so long as you turn off your television, stay away from negative social media, and instead nourish your mind and soul with information that helps you to create your future the way you want it. The rest is just a bunch of sensationalized b.s. that serves nobody.

Thank you very much for this question for all those who will be reading it in addition to yourself. Sanity starts with our being focused on what matters to ourselves – not falling for that which is forced on us as truth while there is very little to prove that to be true when you actually understand the numbers and the way that various viruses or negative news affect us. I can tell you that the conventional news was made to create anxiety so stop believing it and move on with your own lives.

Oct 19 2023

Why You Should Not Treat Your Kids Like Friends – Vol. 648, Oct. 19, 2023

You shouldn’t treat your kids as friends. As a parent, your job is to teach them how to be upstanding responsible adults, which is a totally different relationship the one has with friends.

There are different boundaries as you are the role model. You instruct your kids, discipline them as necessary, and by all means love them unconditionally for the unique people they are.

You can treat them respectfully by truly listening to what they are saying, giving them the opportunities to try all sorts of activities, and teaching them resilience as well as persistence to get ahead in this world. Caring and sharing as well as role modeling integrity are important as well.

I never treated kids much differently in terms of talking to them, but I sure as hell let them know when they were doing things that were hurtful to themselves or others and let them know that was not okay.

If I took my Godson and his sister out to eat, it was only to a sit-down place where they needed to behave or it would be a long time before they would be taken out again by me. I never had any issues with them, where they could be difficult while with the parents, as the parents rarely followed through on the repercussions.

It’s all about earning respect, by being respectful.

Oct 12 2023

What Happens When A Person Is Placed on Psychiatric Medication and Does Not Need it? Vol. 647 – October 12, 2023


This client has been working with me for the past two years. Two years longer than my usual clients most of them healed within 3 to 4 longer sessions. However, you will see this is a special case.

At a very young age, my client was placed into figure ice skating competition. Her mother wanted her to be active, not gain weight. Her mother taught by her mother to never be overweight because a woman must never have large breasts or big buttocks because that is thought to be ‘gross’ in her family.

My client went on to win some state competitions in ice skating during her teen years, never enjoying it, but doing it to please her mother. It was during this time that she was first placed on amphetamines to keep her weight down.

She was bullied throughout high school and acted out by punching her bullies in the face, showing them that this behavior was not going to be tolerated by her.

When she was 17 she was placed on Adderall and a mood stabilizer being told that she had ADD and bipolar. She found herself constantly talking, aggressive, and unhappy.

At the age of 17, she decided to become a professional singer. She had vocal lessons was working out all the time, and taking more weight loss medication to keep her body svelt for the music videos and live performances necessary for the industry standards during this time. This was dictated by her manager.

Also at 17 was when she got involved in what would be a chain of abusive boyfriends one worse than the next. It was a very difficult time for her because she could not understand why she was being yelled and beaten up by these guys who ‘loved’ her. Three years ago she got involved with an abuser who strangled her on 4 different occasions. Right before COVID hit, she was to go on her first singing tour something she had worked hard to realize. The one thing she had been living for was abruptly taken away as the world closed down. She was so angry at the world, and so depressed given everything she was experiencing.

About a year later she called me to help her because she was ready to kill herself and knew she needed some help.

After we cleared all the trauma she went through regaining a true sense of herself she decided that she wanted the guy who strangled her, an illegal alien who did not even belong in the US to be convicted and in prison, then deported for the harm he had done to her. So, she decided to continue services with me having to tell her gruesome story repeatedly.

She was coming down with infections her weight too low to function and with this the realization that she did not need any of her medications choosing to go off all of them. She also realized that her negative behavior was due to the abuse.

Since then she is no longer overtalking, no longer stressed out, and is much calmer. She never needed to be medicated. All she needed was to heal her trauma and get justice.

Oct 05 2023

How You Can Become Psychologically Resilient – Vol. 646, October 5, 2023

This was a question a person asked me on Quora and this is how I answered it:

I love this question because it is so practical!

After working with all types of folks in mental health for about 30 years now here are the ways you can build your psychological resistance.

  1. Take on new experiences especially if you find them a little scary. When you find you are able to do them, you will feel empowered.
  2. Understand that when most people are acting out against you in some form, it usually has nothing to do with you and everything to do with where they are emotionally. Most times it is helpful to just validate how they are feeling and let them know that you hope that their day gets better – crack a joke and all of a sudden that grumpy person is sweet and smiling all so appreciative of your interaction.
  3. There are going to be many times during your life when you may be challenged to see something from another perspective. Your job is to see it from that other perspective because you may find that even though the comment made may feel personal, it wasn’t personal, it was just another perspective. We need to understand that each of us has a right to our opinions, and sometimes when we stretch our thinking we may find that we actually agree with the other person’s viewpoint.
  4. If someone close to you is angry and yelling at you, you need to find out why that person is angry – more often than not it had to do with something else that occurred during that person’s day, and you were targeted because you were closest at the time the anger exploded. So clarification of the situation is what is called for – and again empathy -validating the other’s feelings will allow you to escape an unnecessary argument.
  5. Many times when one has had a tiring day, one may come home grumpy – if this is the case, acknowledge that. the other person is tired and tells them to relax for a bit. Again, the best way around so many of these situations is to understand them from the other person’s perspective and validate whatever is the main cause of the problem.
  6. If you do something that is hurtful to someone else, come clean and apologize by letting the other person know that you did indeed do something that wasn’t in their interest, ask what you need to do to make it up to them, and then do your best to follow through on that, and let them know that you realize that it may take them a while to forgive you and you are okay with that – because that is a fact – different people take different amounts of time to forgive others.
  7. Spend your time on this planet doing things that you enjoy and that bring joy and consideration to others – be kind and helpful and you will find that you will feel great about yourself because the folks you demonstrated this behavior too, will let you know now meaningful it was. to them which can only grow yourself as a person.

Implement these ideas and you will find yourself becoming psychologically resilient in no time at all.

Sep 28 2023

Why Do I Like to Pretend to be Somebody Else? Vol. 645, Sept. 28, 2023

This was a question that a person on Quora asked and this is how I answered it: 

The reason that most people would want to pretend to be someone else is that it is too painful to be who they are – traumatic experiences of the past, create feelings of unworthiness of love, respect, etc. Many times these feelings of being unworthy come from either an abusive or neglectful parent or a partner who emotionally abused a person.

Most actors and performers are not at all, in reality, the people that they seem to be in their roles. It is their way of escaping being uncomfortable in their own skin while gaining adoration from a bunch of strangers who do not even know them for the real people that they are.

So, my suggestion is for you to get in touch with all the great qualities that you have and then ‘own’ them. If you are in an environment where you are being mistreated in some fashion, you need to extricate yourself from it so that you can be who you are without some abusive individual dragging you down. Then work on building your self-love, self-esteem, and self-respect by never allowing someone to overrun your boundaries and certainly never allowing them to hurt you again.

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