Jun 22 2023

How Do I Know If My Therapist is Just Being Lazy Turning All My Questions Back On Me Vol. 630, June 22, 2023

This was a question by a Quoran and this is how I answered it: 

There are many ways for therapy to be practiced. It sounds like your therapist is asking you to think about that which you are asking before giving you feedback – making you do some work because therapy is indeed a place for self-reflection to learn more about yourself and your interactions with others.

I am not a psychotherapist, but rather a hypnotist and I ask my clients lots of questions. In fact, the first session is their Detailed Personal History which has 14 questions and takes 2.5 to 3 hours to complete it well enough for me to create a treatment plan that will change their life for the better. And, during the treatment, they will indeed have many more questions asked along the way.

However, I am also more than willing to give them tools, techniques, and advice when it is obvious that this would best help them in moving forward. Because I can attest to the fact that the majority of my clients have found these pieces of information to be life-changing (even after all the change work to help them to get their subconscious mind working for them instead of against them).

So, you make a great point, however, there are always 2 sides to a situation (when there are 2 people involved). So, maybe you could look at this situation from your therapist’s point of view in basically giving you the space to answer your own questions, and then from there, my guess is that he would elaborate on the answer that you gave him. Obviously, I am not him and know nothing about him, but this is what makes sense from my 30 years in the profession of helping my clients overcome emotional issues.

If you are not happy with the situation, there is nothing keeping you from moving on to a therapist that works in a manner that you find easier to relate to. However, I would let your therapist know that the reason you are leaving is because you are not there to not have your questions answered, but rather to get the information that you are requesting inside the questions that you are asking and if he is unable to do that, it is time for you to move on.

I suggest that people do this so that the therapist has the chance to understand what did not work for the patient because they are not mindreaders. That which seems obvious to you, may not be obvious to him.

Thank you for your question.

I wish you the best on your healing journey.

Jun 15 2023

What Should I Learn When Starting NLP? Vol. 629 – June 15, 2023

It is my belief that the best way to learn NLP is in person with trainers who are there to make sure that you are learning how to do the techniques accurately. I can honestly tell you that even after reading my binder of material and listening to umpteen recordings before my first live training in NLP, none of it made any sense. However, after spending many hours learning and receiving feedback and then doing it over time, I got really great results with my clients. However, I didn’t start with NLP, I started with learning hypnotism, because NLP was based on the work of Milton Erickson (psychiatrist and hypnotist) along with Virginia Satir – a family therapist, and Robert Diltz. Those folks who say that NLP is not hypnotism have no idea what they are speaking about because with NLP one is bypassing the conscious mind and entering the subconscious and in order to do that one has to know the pace of the directives being given in each of the techniques or it isn’t going to work because the clients are not in a deep hypnotic state as in traditional hypnosis.

Further, when one is speaking to the subconscious mind, one needs to know how to phrase the directions and the input correctly because it takes things in quite literally. So, one does need to be careful in communicating with another’s subconscious mind and even their own.

I never teach anyone how to do this stuff who hasn’t gone through their own emotional clearing with me first, because this information can lead to many problems when someone who hasn’t cleared their own crap is causing harm to another and doesn’t even realize it. It’s called projection and there is enough of that happening in the world of mental health as it is. NLP is not a parlor game and isn’t to be taken lightly at all. 

I do offer a 2-Day VIP Hypnosis & NLP Training with a 12-month mentorship program to those who have been trained already and are not getting the results they ought to with their clients as well as teaching state-licensed mental health professionals how to integrate these great healing modalities into their work. If you are interested in learning more fill out the contact sheet on the website and let me know of your interest and we will set up a video call to discuss it in depth and answer all your questions.  

Jun 08 2023

How do you deal with people who are not aware of how their actions & behavior affect others? Vol. 628 – June 8, 2023

This was a question a person on Quora asked and this is how I answered it: 

To tell you the truth most people have no idea how their actions and ignorant statements affect others, you and me included.

My standard way of helping myself and my clients deal with this situation is to call the person and let them know that you would like to get together in person because you have some things you would like to share with them (do it in person if you can – if they are too far away geographically use a video call with Facetime, Whatsapp, IMO, etc. Set up a time with them to meet. If possible meet in a place that is objective meaning a park or restaurant – not either of your homes.

When they are there you start by telling them in this exact language:

Thank you so much for meeting me today. I have some things that I would like to share with you. I am certain that you have no idea that you are doing “A, B, and C and when you do these things it makes me feel “F”. I would really appreciate it if you did ‘x, Y, and Z instead.”

With this wording, you are not attacking them or blaming them for how you feel. Instead, you are letting them know that they are doing some things that they may not be aware of (giving them the benefit of the doubt) and letting them know how it is making you ‘feel’ because feelings just are, there is nothing anyone can do about them. You are politely asking them to act in a different manner and if they are capable of doing so, you will have a much stronger relationship no longer carrying negative feelings about these events.

It may take the person a few times to be able to shift their behavior because most behavior is unconscious anyway. However, if they are argumentative with you or unable to shift it because not all people can or want to – it’s time to find yourself another person to hang around. This includes relatives and partners who know the best how to trigger us.

Jun 01 2023

How Can I Keep Myself From Being Hypnotized? Vol. 627, June 1, 2023

This was a question that a person on Quora asked which I felt was one of the more important questions regarding hypnotism that I have seen in a long while. Here is how I answered it: 

As a hypnotist, I believe that this is a most excellent question because it is indeed true that most people are living in a hypnotized state and don’t even recognize it. This is at least the way that I am interpreting your question. You were not speaking of being hypnotized by a hypnotist specifically. If that was your question, then it is more about not being around one unless you are employing that person to help you with specific issues and you trust that they have the credentials and knowledge to do the work that you are requesting. If it is a stage show, by all means, pass on it, though I find them to be funny as hell and love participating myself. However, if I am reading your question in terms of everyday living, here is my answer:

The most important thing that you can do is to be careful about what you allow into your unconscious mind. If you watch or listen to the news right before going to sleep or right when you awaken, you are allowing that negative information to go right into your unconscious mind because you are in a hypnogogic state at these times.

We get hypnotized when we hear the same stuff over and over again – so it is important to be around positive and fun-loving people. Stay away from those who are negative.

When we are in a heightened emotional state, we are hypnotizable, and that could be both when we are in a negative emotional state or a positive emotional state – so be aware of what is happening while you are in these highly emotional states – do what you can to have them be positive. If it is a negative emotional state like anger or sadness, do what you need to and remove yourself from the situation.

Most people never really think about protecting their minds, however, it is the most important thing that we can do to keep ourselves emotionally healthy and in control of our own lives.

I thank you for this question.

May 25 2023

Can Hypnotism Help a Person Overcome Schizophrenia-Vol. 626, May 25, 2023

This was a question that I was asked on Quora, and this is how I answered it:

Anyone who says that hypnotism can fix a person with schizophrenia needs their certification revoked! Schizophrenics experience psychotic events that bring them into their minds in very different ways than those who do not experience these phenomena.

Hypnotism relies on one being able to fully attend to what is being said and interacting accordingly. This would be very difficult for most schizophrenics to accomplish.

I have worked with one schizophrenic using hypnotism but I was not working on ‘fixing’ his schizophrenia. Rather, I was working with him regarding his use of marijuana, something that his parents with whom he was living at the time wanted him to stop using.

However, what I found was that in his case the use of marijuana was helping him to focus on his $40,000 a year job which he had for the last year or so, being able to successfully take online college courses, and kept him working out at the gym on a regular basis.

In his case, his schizophrenia was not harming his capacity to live a fairly normal life given that he was able to calm himself with the marijuana by his own admission.

Now, the only reason that I even took on that case was because I have worked in mental health with adults with schizophrenia some with other mental illnesses added to it such as one of my first clients back in 1994 who was diagnosed correctly as best I could tell with paranoid psycho-affective disorder. In my work with him as his one-on-one counselor at the supported housing program in which he lived and I was employed, I learned a lot about how to best help people like him thanks to his psychologist with whom I worked closely to finally be able to help this client exit a program that was a terrible fit for him given the lack of structure which this particular client needed to function. I found out about 17 years after I stopped working at that program that this same client had moved into an apartment on his own with a roommate and was doing very well in life which of course made the hell I went through with my then program director well worth the hassle to get this client out of that program and into a much more structured program that was able to give him the structure he needed to finally move out on his own.

This is how one learns what can and cannot be accomplished with various types of clients. This client is still dealing with his psych issues but is living a fairly normal life which is the best news I heard in a long time from the person that was one of his apartment mates while I worked at that program all those years ago.

We do need to be realistic with what we can and cannot do with the tools and techniques we have along with our understanding of the mental health and physical health issues that people are dealing with. Luckily in my case, I have worked both in allopathic mental health and have taken courses in nursing and went as far as the first nursing rotation before dropping out of nursing. I have been a CNA at a previous time in my life as well so have been exposed to the physical ailments that people, especially elders are dealing with. So, I am not the garden variety hypnotist and neuro-linguistic practitioner, bringing decades of practical experience with me into the work I do with my clients with a basis in psychology, psychiatry, anatomy and physiology, and basic nursing knowledge and skills.

I never oversell what I can do for anyone. I have been known to refer potential clients to others because I would not be able to help them in the way in which that prospect would have wanted. Reality checks are a real thing, and unfortunately, too many people in the world of hypnotism and other alternative methods of healing are unwilling to do the right thing by their prospects in being realistic in regards to how far we can go in helping them. That is not something I am happy about, but it is a truth that needs to be spoken.

Thank you for this question as it is an important one and one that the public has a right to understand in terms of how far we can actually help those with psychotic features.

May 18 2023

How to Live Life On Purpose-Vol. 625, May 18, 2023

Today I want to address the issue of how one can live a life on purpose because it is the only life worth living in my estimation. It is in fact what I spent decades working to figure out how to make happen in my own life, which is why I am able to work online and live wherever I choose to live in the world, though that was not the goal, to be honest. It just evolved that way.

Here is my story:

Long ago I was very unhappy with the amount of money I was making for the hard labor I was doing taking care of elders. This was during the time that I was in nursing school back in the late 1990s. I had a plan, but the plan did not work out because it turned out that though I loved learning how the body functioned and how to go about figuring out what was going wrong in the bodies of the ill, the actual work of nursing was not anything that I wanted to be doing with my life. I have to give my family some credit here because they all realized that I would hate being in a situation where I would be taking orders from others. Oh, so true…but, I learned much that I use in my practice today so it was worth learning the underlying subjects that one would need to know to be a nurse. It also helped me to understand the blatant lies being told by those in power over the course of the past 3 years.

The problem that I was working to solve at the time was to find a humanistic way to help my mentally ill patients because I was truly upset with the manner in which the programs in which I was working were treating them. There was an abundance of overmedication which was overly sedating to the clients. This was coupled with a demeaning attitude with the clients being treated as if they could not understand anything while taking their rights away. This left the patients with taking orders from the program directors and the majority of counselors who were in their twenties and knew nothing about life never mind how to help a person a decade or more older than them with serious mental illnesses to contend with. It was a ludicrous system and one I knew I did not want to be a part of.

It was only after exploring and finding out that nursing was not going to be the healing modality that I was going to use that the idea of learning and using hypnotism and a bit later neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) came into my world. This process of searching for the correct healing modality for me took from 1993 to 2002 to go through, so quite a few years.

But then a very interesting thing happened when I left Methuen, Massachusetts in 2013 and landed in San Pedro, California. I had a client call me who lived about 3 minutes from what used to be my home office in Arlington, MA a few years previously looking for services. He happened to be agoraphobic not wanting to leave his apartment for sessions so he was more than happy to do his sessions over Skype. That was the very first time I did online sessions just so I could help this one client. Now, I do all my sessions online because I live all over the world usually in places where English is not the first language so in-person sessions are unlikely.

However, there was another problem that was solved in that I always wanted to travel the world, and doing online sessions would allow me to achieve that goal as well.

So, the bottom line here is that if you find yourself having a problem, your job is to find a solution for it. Our minds are incredibly creative if we would only use them in this fashion to help us figure out how to live a life that works best for us. And, sometimes we are lucky and circumstances bring up other creative ways of getting our work done allowing for even more freedom as was the case in my case.

Living abroad for the past 3.5 years has brought me to incredible locals with even more incredible people and wonderful fresh food without the chemicals that we find in most of the food produced in the US even if it is labeled organic!

Trust me, these people are not worried about the problems of the Western World because they don’t live there. These people are focused on the work that they need to do to stay housed and keep the food coming into their lives. It is really that simple for the great majority of them. Though there have been a variety of professional statuses included in the people with whom I have stayed over the additional 1.5 years since I left Israel at the conclusion of my Master’s program.

So, if you are having a problem with how your professional life or your personal life is going, it is time to rise to the occasion and figure out how you can solve the problem(s).

There are many ways of figuring it out, though the best is through journaling to allow creative ideas to magically come from your subconscious mind as you write.

The other way is to continue to be curious about different possibilities for your consideration through reading magazines which was the way I happened onto the idea of becoming a hypnotist. Or you could fulfill your curiosity by going online and studying those who are doing interesting things with their lives and learning more about them to give you a vast amount of ideas from which to choose a better more purposeful life for yourself.

There is no reason to stay stuck in an unhappy situation, feeling miserable every day. We have access to so much free information and a ton of professionals doing things their way. By observing what they are doing and learning from those who share how they came to do what they do, anyone can carve out a magnificent purposeful life. It just may take you some time to figure out how to best apply these ideas to your situation. But that is alright because this is what allows one to realize the magical way that new ideas and indeed a whole other way of living can unfold which in itself is a beautiful thing to behold.

May 11 2023

How Do You Know If Your Therapist Is Being Lazy? -Vol. 624, May 11, 2023

This was a question that I was asked on Quora, a forum where people ask questions and other answers them. This is how I answered the question:

There are many ways for therapy to be practiced. It sounds like your therapist is asking you to think about that which you are asking before giving you feedback – making you do some work because therapy is indeed a place for self-reflection to learn more about yourself and your interactions with others.

I am not a psychotherapist, but rather a hypnotist and I ask my clients lots of questions. In fact, the first session is their Detailed Personal History which has 14 questions and takes 2.5 to 3 hours to complete well enough for me to create a treatment plan that will change their life for the better. And, during the treatment, they will indeed have many more questions asked along the way.

However, I am also more than willing to give them tools, techniques, and advice when it is obvious that this would best help them in moving forward. Because I can attest to the fact that the majority of my clients have found these pieces of information to be life-changing (even after all the change work to help them to get their subconscious mind working for them instead of against them).

So, you make a great point, however, there are always 2 sides to a situation (when there are 2 people involved). So, maybe you could look at this situation from your therapist’s point of view in basically giving you the space to answer your own questions, and then from there, my guess is that he would elaborate on the answer that you gave him. Obviously, I am not him and know nothing about him, but this is what makes sense from my 30 years in the profession of helping my clients overcome emotional issues.

If you are not happy with the situation, there is nothing keeping you from moving on to a therapist that works in a manner that you find easier to relate to. However, I would let your therapist know that the reason you are leaving is because you are not there to not have your questions answered, but rather to get the information that you are requesting inside the questions that you are asking and if he is unable to do that, it is time for you to move on.

I suggest that people do this so that the therapist has the chance to understand what did not work for the patient because they are not mindreaders. That which seems obvious to you, may not be obvious to him.

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