Photo by Mysticgrit 
Do You Lie & Not Even Realize It? – Vo. 451, May 3, 2018
Human beings are very interesting. They are very interesting because many find ways to rationalize and reason their way out of being truthful in the way they behave. I had a friend who would purchase things at a place like K-Mart, break them while he tried to put them together and then return them for a refund. His children asked me why he did this behavior sometimes. I didn’t have a good explanation, just that it wasn’t a behavior that I would be demonstrating with them myself.
How many of you work at large corporations, or maybe even family-owned businesses where you steal pens, paper, or if in a restaurant, help yourself to more food then you ought to be?
How many of you, have found yourselves in situations where you told what is known here in the United States as a “white lie?” A white lie is an untruth told to help the person you are lying to, save face – not wanting to embarrass or hurt them, so slightly altering the facts in your telling of the story.
How many of you lie to yourselves about the amount and type of food you eat, how much you work out a week, doing kind acts for others, how much time you waste in front of the television or computer, instead of interacting with your partners or children?
We all lie at times, reasoning and rationalizing why it is okay to tell such lies. Granted some lies can be much more destructive than others. However, that is not the point. The point is this: Where is your integrity when you lie, even to yourself? Telling yourself a lie, may allow you to do something that perhaps you ought not to be doing?
You see, integrity is one area of our lives that once lost, may never, ever be regained. Integrity has to do with being your word, acting in a manner that is respectful to yourself first, and to others secondly.
Integrity is taking care of your responsibilities without the need to blame or coerce anyone into doing something that is not in their best interest. Unfortunately, looking at the advice of the doctors my friend has been seeing for his arthritis, even given his congestive heart failure, a hip replacement, and shoulder surgery were recommended – by two different doctors. Given that his medication is the only thing that is keeping him anything near healthy, and the fact that he is on two blood thinners to prevent stroke, suffered serious heart arrhythmias while in the hospital during the end of September and beginning of October – these probably were not the best of recommendations. I am not a doctor, however, I do know that if someone has his history, doing major hip surgery, is not a particularly innocuous surgery, as it is a serious surgery for even a healthy person.
If you have children or grandchildren, your integrity matters, if you hope to have them learn how to have integrity of their own. When we lie about those things that we feel we can get away with, we are teaching the children in our world that it is okay to lie and cheat others.
Are these the values you would like your children to learn from your actions? I certainly hope not. And yet, in my hypnosis practice, I observe the lack of integrity in many parents as they lie to their kids right in front of me, as one mother told her own daughter, age 10, who saw with own eyes, her mother smoking in her car. When her child held her accountable, she flatly lied to her, saying that she never smoked. This parent was told by me, that she was doing a great job teaching her child how to distrust her forever. That a 180-degree change in her attitude toward her behavior needed to occur, to perhaps bring trust back to her relationship with her daughter. Because, if one lies about something such as this, what else are they lying about? That is the question any child may ask, especially a precocious one such as her daughter.
Do you tell your teen not to drink and drive, even as you are bringing your kids to a bar (even if it is in a high-end yacht club), to watch you drink, then wonder if you are able to drive them back home? My friend met up with some of his work friends at a Chinese restaurant near them for drinks. For whatever reason, he brought his underage kids with him. The kids were told that they couldn’t sit at the bar, as it was illegal. They had to sit at some tables in the restaurant.
His son was 16 at the time, and able to drive, luckily, because my friend got so drunk during that night out, he had to drive his dad and younger sister home.
A little later in the year, during the summer, my friend was very upset to find all sorts of empty bottles of vodka throughout the woods surrounding his backyard. My observation to my friend was simply. “Why would you believe that your kids and their friends wouldn’t drink in your house while you are at your second job if you are bringing your kids to the bar to watch you get drunk enough for your son to have to drive you home?” He didn’t have an answer.
Get very clear on the fact that your kids will emulate your actions while caring very little about your conflicting words regarding your expectations of their behavior. They soak up all the activities that you do, the behavior you demonstrate and give very little merit to the conflicting expectations of you have of them.
Demonstrate that behavior that you want your kids and their friends to have, and you will have gone much further than allowing for that better, safer behavior. The only exception to this rule is for kids who have parents who have scared them while young, driving all over the street in their drunken state. I have seen kids in this situation do the exact opposite of their parents wanting nothing at all to do with mind-altering substances, even if they are legal at a certain age. I feel bad for these kids with such irresponsible behavior and terrorizing their kids acting in this illegal and unsafe matter.
Your kids are your responsibility. Do the best you can by them, for that is all we can do. This is the deal you made when you brought them into this world.
Photo by Mysticgrit
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
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Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.