My Spouse and I Don’t Get Along, What Should I Do?

My Spouse and I Don’t Get Along, What Should I do? – Vol. 507, July 25, 2019

This was actually a much longer question from another Quoaran on the platform Quora. She actually wanted to know if she should stop eating to prove a point to force him to treat her better because he was always angry.

I told her that she was asking the wrong question, for not eating was not going to do a thing but make her sick. So I suggested she ask herself some different questions: Why is it that he is unable to give you emotional support? Was he ever able to give you emotional support?

You see, some people never learned how to give emotional support to another, and in that case, it would be best to leave. One cannot expect another to do something they do not have the ability to do. She also stated that her husband is angry all the time. It is very unhealthy to live with endless anger. One will have a very poor outcome, emotionally, physically or both. Given that finding someone else who is emotionally supportive is important to her, moving on would be the way to go. However, one can’t just find someone right after a long term relationship. What one has to do is to get back in touch with one’s self first. Once she knows herself without the negative impact of her husband, then she can work on finding a more supportive and appropriate mate.

Now, if he was able to be supportive at one time, but is going through his own challenges now, emotional or even physical changes in the brain can cause a lack of empathy for another. I had this situation with one of my clients years ago. He was in his early 70’s and the MRI showed that there was a change in the area of the brain that helps with certain brain functions. Regulating emotions was one function. He was very forgetful of things he once found he could do with ease which frustrated him daily. He would get angry with his wife (my client) all the time, even though she was doing her best to be loving and supportive, working on getting the medical care he required for multiple health issues. Once the information was found from the MRI she had a better idea of how to communicate with him, and he had a better idea of what was happening to himself.

So, the situation matters and it isn’t about using manipulation to teach the spouse anything. It is about finding out what is going on with him and whether or not she was able to help him through it.

I hope you found this case history helpful if you are finding yourself in a similar situation.

About Suzanne

Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.

Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.

She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.

Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.

Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.

Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.