Feb 13 2020

Why does my mom always change the subject and talk about what she wants to talk about? We can’t ever have a serious adult conversation.

mother daughter talking photoWhy Does My Mom Always Change the Subject and Talk About What She Wants To Talk About? Vol. 536, Feb. 13, 2020

This was a question that was asked by a Quoran, and one that many of my clients ask, regardless of their age. Here is how I answered it:

It is because your mother lacks the ability to care about what you have to say, generally because she is self-involved.

Unfortunately, the chronological age of a person doesn’t always match their emotional stage of development. I would say your mom is stuck at teenhood emotionally, and therefore the world revolves around her.

I don’t know if she has any mental health issues, but these most certainly get in the way of natural emotional maturation.

The best way to deal with this is to just acknowledge the fact that your mom will never be able to talk to you in a way that fulfills your need for a caring and mature mother and find others in your life who can fill that role.

I know in my case, my mom was so damaged by her mother that she was about 2 years old emotionally, manipulating people to always have her way. If she didn’t get her way, she would go into fits of rage. She was super intelligent, caring when it was something she cared about, yet infantile when she didn’t get her way.

Interestingly enough, through being raised by her (and we were close up till I was 18 years old), she taught me many important things in how to work with people with mental illness. I never confused her behavior with who she was, though it did become increasingly difficult to spend time with her. I cut her out of my life for about seven years because of her abuse toward me. However, quite miraculously I was there for the last 10 days of her life. I can’t say I had sweet loving feelings for her, but I was glad she had 3 of her 5 daughters and the two spouses there by her side when she passed away.

Feb 10 2020

Claim Your Excellent Life #299 – How to Stop Avoiding Those Things That Are Difficult For Me

Procrastination is a real issue for a lot of people. Here is some advice to help get you moving.
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Feb 06 2020

I Don’t Have a Job & I Don’t Go To School. Am I Living a Useless Life?

job applicant photoI Don’t Have a Job & I Don’t Go To School. Am I Living a Useless Life?, Vol. 535, Feb. 6, 2020

This was a question that a Quoran asked me and this is how I answered it:

I couldn’t imagine a more boring way to live myself. I love the work I do and I am working on a second Master’s this time in Peace & Conflict Management. I originally went back for my 1st Master’s in Medical Sociology three years ago at the age of 56.

Your biggest problem as far as I can tell not knowing you, what age you are, etc., is that you haven’t taken the time to figure out what interests you so you haven’t a direction to take either regarding an education or in getting a career going – not a pointless boring low paying job, a career. It is something that takes real thought and most people are too lazy to put the time into figuring it out, many leading lives of desperation stuck in jobs that they do not like, and not knowing how to get into something that they truly enjoy.

Get out in the world and start volunteering for some organization that does something that you are interested in to get a better understanding of what is entailed. Do this till you find something you truly enjoy since you are not doing anything constructive at the moment.

I tried a ton of different jobs and careers before finding hypnosis. It has been a very fulfilling life and now I am looking into other ways to use that knowledge moving forward. There is always something to learn and something constructive we can do with our time, bringing meaning to our lives, because that is ultimately what makes a well-lived life.

Feb 03 2020

Claim Your Excellent Life #298 – How To Practice Self-Love

Whenever we feel depressed and down, we are partly in that state because we don’t currently love ourselves. Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck discusses how to show yourself the love you deserve.
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Jan 30 2020

Why Are So Many People So Unhappy?

unhappy photoWhy Are So Many People So Unhappy – Vol. 534, January 30, 2020

This was a simple yet topical question for these days, sad as that is to recognize, asked by a Quoran. This is how I answered this question:

The short answer is chronic stress about living these days. People have so many things on their minds, usually without enough income to pay all their bills as inflation keeps going up and income relative to it goes down.

We have too many gizmos telling us the world is falling, which we need to turn off (yes, that includes your smart phone, most especially your smart phone)!

Kids feel overwhelmed by what they feel is expected of them – great grades in school irrespective of their abilities in some subjects not being as good as others. Needing to be super kids to get into the best universities, even if that isn’t what they want for themselves.

Social media has caused much loneliness because the only way that one can be true friends with someone else is eye-to-eye and soul-to-soul in person. People hide behind their computers pretending to be something that they are not in all too many cases. Never mind the bullying that can take place. I know several people who took down their Facebook profiles for this reason – usually teens and young adults.

There are few reasons, there are many more, but this is a start.

The remedy is to stop watching the idiocy and sensationalized editorials that pretend to be ‘news.’ Hang out with people that you like and trust. Do things that nourish your soul and things that you enjoy and forget whatever doesn’t feel right to you.

There is no need to hang onto relationships that do not feel good to you and there is no reason to pretend to be anything other than who you are, because that is the only way to be liked and loved for who you are, everything else is empty.

Jan 27 2020

Claim Your Excellent Life #297 – How To Overcome A Broken Relationship

It’s a common occurrence in today’s world for relationships to break up. Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck speaks about how to best recover from this painful event.
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Jan 23 2020

When is the DSM-6 Likely to Be Released? What Important Revisions Will It Contain?

mental health photoWhen is the DSM-6 Likely to Be Released? What Important Revisions Will It Contain? Vol. 533, January 23, 2020

These were very important questions that a Quoran on Quora asked me to answer. Given the fact that I have little to no respect for the conventional mental health system, my answer may cause you some pause.

With the medicalization of every normal human emotion in the DSM-5, these folks have proven that they are totally incompetent in dealing with human emotions.

When I first started in the world of conventional mental health the DSM-3 was being used. It was a helpful manual at the time, however, what the layperson needs to understand is that these illnesses are created by the symptoms that overlap with various diagnoses. That many people are improperly diagnosed therefore receive the wrong treatment causing more problems in the form of medication sed-effect with treatment that has zero to do with the cause of the problem. There are no tests to check for mental illness except brain scans that show schizophrenia. Dr. Daniel Amen believes his bran scans help to diagnose mental illness among other things, some of his peers disagree.

Instead of using destructive labels, how about we deal with the negative events and/or physiological issues like psychosis due to a lack of vitamin B12 in the case of one vegetarian I read about recently. Or how about hormonal imbalance or leaky gut?

Most importantly, for the many who are asking questions regarding psychiatric labels – stop doing that and instead speak to the thoughts and behaviors that are the cause of your concern. Too many people have zero idea what these diagnoses entail, so it’s pointless to talk about them. I now based on the wording of the questions that I receive every day from Quorans.

If instead, you focused on the troubling thoughts and behaviors, I could more easily address them and give you much more helpful guidance (as could any professional with whom you are seeking help).

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