Claim Your Excellent Life #323 – I Always Want to Be Perfect_How Do I Overcome This?

Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck addresses the desire of many people to be perfect.
 
 
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I Always Want to Be The Best At Everything or I Hate Myself. How Do I Overcome This? Vol. 576, Dec. 31, 2020

Here is a great New Year’s gift that you can give yourself, by reading and learning from how I answered this question from a Quoaran:

Coming from a person who had to overcome some major learning disabilities and had zero coordination, my sisters were better at almost everything than I was. But, this was the thing, I didn’t care. Really, I didn’t. I learned how to do things for the fun of learning. If I won a game, it was most amazing as it was hard-won. However, I played to enjoy the experience, not make it a competitive endeavor with my sense of self on the line. There is absolutely no reason to do that so far as I can tell.

I have always been a hard worker (well except 8th grade when I sort of gave up for a while because the effort didn’t change the grades), till I had a great tutor in high school who taught me how to learn and how to write papers. Then learning became fun again. I am now 59 years old and working on completing my second Master’s degree and doing it abroad on top of it all – so that is amazing in itself.

My younger sister always has to ‘win’ and I never felt that pressure. So long as I gave it a good effort, that was all that mattered. I can tell you this: It takes a ton of pressure off to just put in one’s best effort.

Perfection doesn’t exist in this world – at least where humans are concerned. So, be okay with being imperfectly perfect as you go through this journey we call life. Because in the end, being the best doesn’t matter, however doing your best is what brings a sense of fulfillment and that does indeed matter – quite a lot.

Thanks for your A2A, for all those who needed to read this message.

 

Claim Your Excellent Life #322 – What Are You Focusing On These Days?

What we focus on determines our reality. Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck discuss how important what we spend our time and focus on is.
 
 
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How Do You Brainwash Yourself to Forget? Vol. 575, Dec. 24, 2020

This was an interesting question that someone on Quora asked me. We all have times when we wish we could forget things that we said or did, or things that were said and done to us. In any case, this is how I answered the question: 

One really can’t brainwash themselves to forget anything so far as I am aware. One tends to repress those memories that the conscious mind finds too emotionally difficult to handle.

I do believe that you are asking this question because you either did something that you feel guilt or shame about OR someone hurt you in some manner.

The best way to deal with it to let it go is to remember that there is no one on this planet who hasn’t made some mistakes along the way – some of them quite terrible – losing a ton of money in bad partnerships or investments, others having done things to land themselves in jail as some of the worst – yet, even in these situations what needs to occur is a sense of forgiveness.

Forgiveness comes when we realize that we all have the stories of our lives which brought us to where we are currently at. Realize that we are all doing the best we can with what we have at the time.

I know for myself I have done some really screwed up things in my past and it had much to do with lack of judgment due to my manic depression (that was what bipolar was known as at the time). I never used it as an excuse, so I did what I could to make up for that which I did wrong as best I could. But, I also didn’t shame myself for having an illness that I didn’t ask for. So, now many years later having been able to let go of it completely since 2004 through the help of my NLP trainer – I can see it as just something that occurred in my past and am much more helpful to those who also do strange things because of their illnesses, without judging them for the behavior. -as people are not their behavior.

It is the same thing when I think of others who have done me wrong. I had a situation when I left California where I had a very unstable roommate who destroyed my room after I left because the landlady wouldn’t let her move in there (away from the smoking on the deck outside the kitchen which was next to her room). I got charged for the damages she did (so lock your room before you leave if you have roommates where you currently life – an important side lesson). The thing here is that I was indeed very angry at the landlady because I had never done anything crazy and had no reason to do anything to reduce the security deposit I would be getting back – but she was really getting even with me for something I texted her by accident (be careful before hitting that ‘send” on your text) that was meant for my other roommate. At least that is my belief because she and I never go on well after that occurrence – yeah it was a rather large blunder.

What I realized was that these folks are doing the best they can do – still stuck in their various sad situations and I am no longer stuck there with them – so, let it go and send them white light and love for their own healing.

It is all only perception anyway, so it is best to have a perception that is helpful to one’s health and wellbeing than to continue to allow one’s mind to make them crazy, right.

Live in the present moment and these things of the past have no real impact. It is only when we are too focused on the past or the future that we allow our minds to make us crazy.

Thanks for the question on behalf of all those who will be reading it in future days.

How Long Does Therapy Take for Depression, I Have Been Seeing my Therapist Since April: Vol. 574, Dec. 17, 2020

This is a question that was asked on Quora. I receive many similar questions on this subject on Quora so it is something that is on many peoples’ minds. Here is how I answered it: 

I have to say that as a hypnotist, I was forced to look at other answers. the reason depression exists and there are many. Think of depression similar to physical pain where it is a symptom that there is something underlying it that needs to be taken care of. Emotional issues are only 1 of many things that could be creating depression.

What many people do not realize is that their brains function best when they are metabolizing those nutrients that it needs to create the neurotransmitters to allow it to be emotionally stable and mentally capable. If you have an issue with a leaky gut, your body isn’t going to be able to metabolize the amino acids from the protein you eat, to make those neurotransmitters.

A while ago a woman answered a question on here regarding depression and said that her B12 was real low which caused her physical pain and terrible depression

If you are in midlife metabolism can be an issue as well as an imbalance of sex hormones.

You can also have an imbalance of other hormones like thyroid and cortisol and adrenaline if your adrenal glands are overly taxed – I had this issue and it sucked!

Medications can bring it on even antidepressants, thus the black box on the box to warn of such things occurring.

So, you can see that there are many things that can cause depression that has zero to do with emotional issues.

If you have emotional trauma that needs to be resolved then that is the way to get rid of it. I have helped many clients to do this in very short order, to be honest with you – but that is because I am working in their subconscious and superconscious to help them access the material that isn’t available to them doing normal talk therapy.

You can read a beautifully written article by a friend of mine who works in pharmaceuticals and explains this a lot better than I as the chemist she is:

Are You Truly Depressed? Maybe it is Something Else Entirely – Vol. 88 May, 2010

Thanks for asking the question for all those who will be reading the answer in the following days.

How Do You Change Negative Thoughts to a More Positive Mindset: Vol. 573, Dec. 10, 2020

This was a question that someone on Quora asked me and this is how I answered him: 

I believe there are many people who are battling negative thoughts these days, and I would have to say that I am among them. However, I can usually get myself out of these places because the one thing that I do know is that a thought is merely a ‘thought’ it is not reality.

The most important thing that you can do is to recognize what it is that is causing the negative thought because they come from somewhere. In my case, it is a paper that I need to write for my Masters – the Graduation Paper and I was having a very hard time figuring out how to move forward on it. After too many hours of research on a subject (actually a few related subjects), I finally sent an outline over to my professor for her to review. Because, this is the thing – many times we have negative thoughts because we are procrastinating on something that we know we have to do – so taking action is the way to turn that around.

If you are feeling upset about something that you said to someone – well, do what you need to do to forgive yourself for whatever you did and make a deal with yourself to not do it again.

If you are feeling upset because someone said something hurtful to you, again, remember that we are all human and will say stupid thoughtless things from time-to-time. Let it go.

Then get onto something that will bring you some joy be it some comedy on Youtube or Netflix or spending some time with a friend that knows how to get you laughing.

Because, this is the thing: We all go through times when we have some negative thoughts, but they can’t run us unless we allow them to, right?

Thanks for the question for all the other folks who will be reading the answer in the future.

 

We Create Our Own Reality: Vol. 572, Dec. 3, 2020

 
Many people are feeling frustrated and alone these days due to things that are outside of our ability to shift.
 
I am in the midst of listening to the audiobook “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle speaking of the difference between the “I am” as in “the I am that I am” that is the God in you versus the “I” and “mine” of the egoic self.
Much of the teachings are about staying in the present instead of the story of our past or the “What if?’ of the future knowing that we are fine where we are right now. This is so important especially during these days where most people have no idea what is to come of the lives we are living after all of the lockdowns, business closures, and political unrest that we see in many areas of the world at the moment.
 
The best thing that we can all do is to stay in the ‘present’ realizing our thoughts are NOT reality, focusing on the things that bring us a sense of happiness and fulfillment because these come from ourselves – they have little to nothing to do with the chaos around us if we choose to ignore it.
We have plenty of time to go deeply within to find our heart’s desire and in so doing working on our soul’s journey. Because it is this mindset that will enable you to free yourself from the craziness that is the outer world at this moment. Create a lovely inner world in which to immerse yourself for now.
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