This was a question from a person on Quora. It is a very important question from the client’s perspective in terms of holding clear boundaries for the feelings of safety required for true healing to occur. Here is how I answered the question:
Thank you very much for asking this thoughtful question!
I would say that it is the therapist’s job to stay in the present moment as the client tells their story to have an idea of how to best go about the clinical work involved.
It is also very important for anyone who is doing clinical work of any kind to be able to have healthy boundaries with their patients/clients. I don’t mean that one needs to be an emotionally closed-off person which unfortunately is what happens too often from my clients’ experiences. What I mean is that the clinician is never taking on their patient’s or client’s story as their own especially when the story may match up with something that occurred in the clinician’s past. We have to always allow our clients to own their own stories and our job is to help them to get positive learnings from them so that they can let go of the trauma and move on with their lives without the invasion of the past story continually repeating in their mind or worse in their lives such as dating partners that are unhealthy for them as an example.
Again, I thank you for this question, because there are many people out there who really do not understand the dynamic that is supposed to be and instead worry about what negativity may be shed on them if they share a very personal and even worse if there is some degrading behavior that they themselves committed within the story itself.
A clinician’s job is to be an objective listener and healer of the person telling the story, not a judge of what was being said. The only exception is if there is some abuse that needs to be dealt with either which the client is doing to themselves in some form of self-harm or if they are harming or thinking of harming another.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.