Today we are going to speak to relationships, specifically how are your relationships working for you? This came about after my introduction to spiritual teacher Caroline Corey. She challenges us to be truthful with ourselves in terms of how it is that we are living our lives – certainly very aligned with all the work that I have put out there in the world to date.
Caroline has a basis of understanding that we all need to come to regarding what it is that we truly desire for ourselves regardless of the ‘thing’ is that we are speaking of. In this case, we are speaking of relationships with those people with whom we have chosen to partner.
Unfortunately, many people ‘settle’ for the comfort of what they know making excuses to stay in the relationship. Maybe you are being taken care of financially, have a beautiful home, and yet, you are not really happy with your partner. So it takes real courage to feel into what your relationship is bringing you and what it is not bringing you.
I have a client that I have worked with who had a wonderful home with her partner. He built a pool for her behind their home, knowing that this would make her happy. However, though the pool was appreciated, there were many issues inside the communication patterns that were not at all appreciated including his endless cheating with other women. Up until we looked at the meanings behind the behavior she felt that when she walked away from the relationship she had made a mistake – and yet, she was not happy with this man – not really not only because of his endless cheating but because he did not share her values on many other parts of her life. It seemed that he would constantly find ways to sabotage her career which she had worked very hard to build, by bringing in all types of emotional turmoil taking her energy away from her work.
Now, you may not have such a large amount of issues in your relationship, however, it demonstrates how the idea of having a partner can harm one’s own life’s purpose, as was the case in this situation.
So, what do you want in your relationship with your partner? Are you able to honestly say that you are receiving it?
Do you have the freedom to be who you truly are feeling supported in living your own purpose be it a career or a stay-at-home mother? Many of my clients have partners who are uninterested in what they are doing, even though that which they are doing is a huge part of their identity, it being the purpose they have found in life. This is certainly something that I lived through myself with my ex-husband. Though he was the one who truly wanted me to find my purpose, once I found it he had no interest in it. And, yet I was to be involved in all his artistic endeavors. Luckily I liked being involved with most of his artistic endeavors, however, the relationship was one-sided and as a result, it felt unfair in terms of the activities that we did together.
Are you feeling stimulated by your partner in terms of growth and development? So many people that I work with find their partners to be rather dull, wanting to do the same things all of the time. There is never a desire to explore new places, new activities, new relationships with new people. In some cases, the screens of their lives are dictating what they do with their time which in too many cases excludes their partner’s involvement with them.
In some situations, the issues can be healed between the partners and in some cases, it is time to have the courage to move on to the unknown.
I have another client who came to me with issues of being fearful of speaking her truth with her husband because every time she did, they would get into a huge argument. During our work together she has learned how to better communicate what she really wants in a simple and easy-going way. Her relationship is much healthier for being willing to shift her communication style in a manner that her husband can hear her desires and help her to achieve them. He even wants to help her to achieve them – so it was her fear of communicating which was the issue, not her husband in this case.
If you are a person who is in a relationship that is not serving you – where you are unhappy and unfulfilled, understand that here are many reasons for this to occur. The first step is to be honest with yourself that you are unhappy and then the next step is to learn how to create a relationship that serves both you and your partner better – because all relationships do indeed take both people to work well. However, we need to know if it is really our partner that is the issue, or our inability to ask for what we want in a way that will be understood by our partner.
***For anyone who is looking to improve their current relationship or anyone who is having a tough time creating a great relationship with a significant other I am running a 3-Day Retreat “Bringing True Love to Your Primary Relationship” Oct. 2-4, 2021 at the lovely Villa Serena Holist Hotel & Retreat Center right on the water in the Dominican Republic. You can find out more about it here:
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.