Have you ever felt that you don’t get respect from your parents no matter what you do?
Some people for whatever reason are incapable of seeing you and your value for what it really is. If that is the case growing up with a parent like this, it is not your fault.
You are once again having a conversation with one of your parents and all you feel is that once again you are being talked down to as if you are a child who never created a decent life for yourself. Frankly, you are pissed off every time you speak to this parent. Worse have no idea why this is happening and what you can do to change it.
Is this scenario familiar to you?
I am writing about this subject because this is a problem that so many people experience, yet is never really spoken about or explained.
I have a friend who has an excellent job in investment banking with a successful career, but his father never saw that. Always no matter what my friend was the same adolescent that was always overdrawing his checking account. Truth be told, it was actually his father projecting his own fears and problems as he never reached own his own financial goals and was living beyond his means, taking out loans against the equity in his home to cover his finances till the day he died. The son, however, changed this behavior for several years having many investments doing well financially. He was never responsible for his father’s emotional problems and fears. Yet, he paid dearly for it resulting in never having the type of loving relationship with his father that he always wanted.
I have known many people who have been raised in this fashion. Never been treated as the adult they are. In some cases they become overachievers sometimes to the resentment of their relationships, giving up their hobbies, and in many other cases, they become underachievers and feel incapable of taking on the responsibilities of an adult.
When a person is never treated as an adult builds a lot of anger and resentment aimed at their parents. In some cases, the child grows up and does everything in their power to prove to their parent that they are indeed responsible adults. In other cases, the individual will grow up to live down to the limited expectations that the parent always had, giving up on ever becoming a responsible adult.
Often times parents are unable to allow their children to grow up because the parent themselves has never fully matured emotionally. This creates all sorts of problems with the children because they are never seen as being matured to an age-appropriate state. Furthermore, because the children blame themselves, they never realize that it is their parent that has the issue.
In some cases, the children are never allowed to do those things that are normal for their age, like hanging out with their friends outside the home for the fear the parent has that something horrible will happen to them when left on their own. Some female teens are not allowed to wear makeup, their parents feel they are not mature enough to wear it, fearful they will attract the attention of men when they are unable to deal with it.
What is the best way to overcome this situation?
By accepting the fact that one’s parent has never emotionally grown up themselves. With this realization, it becomes easier to forgive the parent for their lack of emotional maturity, while letting go of the possibility that the parent is able to be something they are not and most likely will never be.
When a parent is overprotective, it is a matter of understanding that your parents were doing what they felt was in your best interest. Much better to know this, than to believe your parents never cared about you by allowing you to do whatever you wanted as a kid.
Subscribe Now to the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Newsletter
If you found this blog post helpful and informative, then Suzanne would like to invite you to subscribe to the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Newsletter and receive notice of new blog posts, general news,special offers and upcoming events. A confirmation email will be sent to you and you will be granted access to the ever expanding free gift page which currently includes an anti-stress hypnotic induction mp3, an eating disorder induction mp3 and a pdf of the first chapter of Suzanne's upcoming book on sexual addiction.
Subscribe Now to the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Newsletter
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.
