Vol. 38, May 2006
Over the past few months it seemed that I did not own my life. I was running around taking care of my mother’s needs, taking care of the chores around the house or putting in time with my clients. The one thing that I did find time for was at least a half an hour to relax in the warm bubbling water of the health club’s whirlpool every few days But I still felt totally absent from getting my real needs taken care of. Holidays were no longer based on how I wanted to enjoy them. It was as if I had little control over what I was doing on a day-to-day basis and it felt horrible. One day it dawned on me that I did not have any time to be with my own friends. These are the relationships that replenish my soul for their inspirational ideas and sharing of common interests.
How are you doing with fitting in the activities in your life that really matter to your own well being? There is this notion here America that every moment of every day you have to be doing something productive with your time, or helping someone who needs your assistance be it a parent as it was in my case, or a child, or perhaps some friend or colleague that is begging you to be there for them in some way. The demands come from everywhere!
When I got to feeling that my life was being taken over and I did not “count” anymore I made some drastic changes. I let my mother know what was reasonable for me to do for her and what was not. I started to get in touch with my friends and making arrangements to be with them, just to enjoy their company. I took a look at what I needed to do in my practice to move it forward. I did this all by having an honest discussion with myself about how things got so uncomfortable and what I needed to do to set it straight.
The important idea here is that sometimes one does need to put another’s needs first, which was true for helping my mother to get all her services in place in a new home. The issue was that she was getting entirely too dependent on me and encroaching entirely on the life that I had before she arrived. This was to the point where I felt that her needs were always coming before my own. This is never a good idea, to allow another person to take over your life’s energy. It is your responsibility to do the things that make you feel good, to be with the people that accept you for who you are despite your imperfections.
If you are at a place in life where you are feeling overwhelmed or overburdened I invite you to spend a good amount of time with yourself to find out what is missing. What is it that you are doing that perhaps brings a feeling of resentment? Then ask yourself what you can do to bring yourself back into your own life. It is important to realize that once you have used your time you can never get it back. Therefore it is incumbent on yourself to listen to that inner self and get in touch with what really matters to you in your own life and do that. I found that writing about my feelings was really helpful. I just wrote everything that came to my mind. After awhile it became crystal clear that I did not want to resent my mother and that it was my responsibility to set some boundaries around what was reasonable in terms of my time and psychological commitment to her while freeing up the time I needed to be in my own life.
By clearly stating to her what I could do, it became apparent to her that I could not continue to take care of her in the manner that she wanted and be expected to run my practice. Therefore she decided to move to another state to live with another sister. In so doing she set me free to “fly into my future” as she put it. I know that for her this was a very hard decision for her to make, and yet she was proud of the work that I am doing here with my hypnosis practice and did not want to be “in the way”.
Are you willing to reclaim your life? Are you worth living your own life? My hope for you is that you are. But if for some reason your life is feeling empty do speak to your local hypnotist. You may have a need to please others in order to feel good about yourself instead of following your own dreams. There are many reasons why this can happen and a good hypnotist can help you to understand what you need to clear. Then you will be able to reclaim your life by spending your time doing what you desire and deserve to do instead of always bowing down to others demands upon you. I promise it feels wonderful!!
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms for the Mind and Soul is a book of essays based on the wisdom gained through those who have touched me through my own journey in life. Purchase an inspiring copy today from the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Store.
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.