Why Do People Give the Silent Treatment? – Vol. 516, June 3, 2021
There are really three reasons for someone to give another the silent treatment so it depends on the circumstances.
The first is if the person giving the silent treatment is enacting a ‘no contact’ procedure where the person that is being silenced is understood as being toxic as in an abusive relationship. Interactions with this person is setting off negative emotions with the comments or thoughts aimed at the person who is choosing to no longer connect with the person.This is certainly a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Understand that it is the person who is ‘feeling’ the toxicity that has the right to do whatever that person feels is necessary to create a safe place for themselves.
The 2nd situation is when one is using it more for a manipulative action to create angst in the other person. In this case, one really has to decide if one wants to engage with a person who has the sort of mental illness that would bring this sort of behavior into being in the first place. Because, the reality is that if one is manipulating another to get a ‘reaction’ of some sort, one has to ask if this is that the sort of person one wants to spend their very limited emotional energy on?
The 3rd is when the person is needing space to deal with life. In that case, a warm text or voice mail could be left just stating the fact that you are concerned for the other person and hope that there wasn’t anything that you did that made the person want to distance themself from you. If that happened you would love to clear the air by finding out what you did and making sure it never happens again. However, you cannot make that happen without knowing what you did. And then give them a time frame to get back to you to clear the air.
The reality is that many times these things have nothing to do with the other person with whom the silent treatment is occurring. People with depressed moods will isolate as a part of the condition, people who are going through a tough time or a to them embarrassing time will not be as available as maybe they once were, and when people are going through a hard emotional time they will tend to take space as well to just have time to themselves to work through things.
So, it is a slippery road personalizing other’s actions because in the majority of cases it is about what is going on with the other person and has zero to do with us. Life is more challenging these days than normal and for that reason, many people are having a hard time coping. It would be healthier for them to reach out for help – some will and it may be another person or a professional to whom they are reaching. Again it has zero to do with anyone else – just them working through their own emotional situation for which it may be no else’s business anyway.
Learning: We need to be careful to not assume things that just are not so. On the other hand, we do want to be thoughtful with whom we associate and under what circumstances for our own mental health.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.