Why do people feel unlovable? Why do people end up in unhealthy relationships?
Your career is going so well, yet your feel that your wife doesn’t love or respect you. Your kids don’t listen to you, leaving you to feel lonely and unsure of yourself.
Internally you feel really bad, yet from the outside, you feel like you should feel grateful for what you have, yet that isn’t your inner truth, not at all…
I had a client whose parents never saw her for who she was always wanting her to be someone else. The lack of love and care was overwhelming for her. As a grown woman she was driven to reach success through excellence trying to finally get the love and admiration that she never received as a child. She eventually reached the level of CEO, making 7 figures in salary with all the great perks as well. But that still was not enough, still did not feel loved or respected by her parents. Over the holidays her father still treated her like his servant wanting her to cook his gravy for him because that is what he wanted at that moment. After all these years and achievements she was still being treated like his caretaker.
I had another client that was raised by a judge in a very exclusive area in Connecticut. His father was well respected by the community. However living in his home was quite a different story, as his dad would get angry and strike him with a belt, most often never knowing why. This client was a great sales manager, but could never take credit for the work he did. In his mind anything positive could never be related to him, because he was trained by his dad that he is bad and incapable no matter what.
I have had many clients who have felt totally ‘unseen’ by their parents, meaning that their parents never saw them for the people that they felt they are. Their parents put their own expectations on them in some cases. In other cases, nothing they ever did matter to their parents, it was never enough. Children who are raised in this manner are constantly looking for love and validation by constantly working to achieve the unachievable. People in these situations even with the most loving families, success, and achievements will never feel good enough until they deal with the root cause of the issue.
The person who feels unseen, will end up feeling ‘unlovable’ and disrespected even if that is not the case in reality. Often they will end up in relationships that fulfill this sense of feeling unseen once again, perpetuating these negative feelings toward themselves. For those who were overachievers, many fall into having imposture syndrome, never taking credit for all the great success they have had.
The best way to overcome this type of traumatizing upbringing is to learn how to love and respect one’s self. My clients are able to do this simply by acknowledging their positive attributes such as being creative, able to problem solve, being caring for others, etc. We also do forgiveness work for their parents around the negative interactions they had freed them from the anger that was causing ill will.
It shocks me how quickly my clients have been able to move past their past histories, creating a much better life for themselves and their own families.
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Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.
