This is an interesting question for sure. I am not a licensed therapist, rather a hypnotist, and what I have found in my work is that it is much better if I can get the teen to have their parent in the session rather than not. There is a reason for this that many don’t really think through. First, the teen will not have a clear idea of their entire history because the memory only goes back so far. This is even more true for those who have been traumatized. Secondly, a lot of healing can occur when I have both of them together doing the work. Does it work all the time – no, it doesn’t. However, for those who have been willing or even wanting their parents there with them, magical healing has occurred on both sides of the relationship.
You see, I don’t go into my sessions believing the parents are necessarily the bad people here. In fact, we know that our memories are not what we believe they are with many things deleted causing distortions. We also know that a younger person under the age of 25 prefrontal cortex hasn’t matured completely yet, so they have limited ability to reason, rationalize, or judge. This is a physiological fact. Parents can indeed help their kids better understand what the truth was back when the situation occurred. I have several examples from which to choose, but I will use a few to illustrate my point.
I had a 15-year-old client who wouldn’t go to school and didn’t know why. It went back to her father’s dying of brain cancer when she was six years old. Her mom was able to help her understand how important she was to her dad’s feeling loved and cared for as her 6-year-old self gave him her favorite stuffed animals to love. As a little girl, she spent hours in his hospital bed at home while her older siblings were unable to be there seeing their dad hooked up to the medical machinery. So, with that knowledge and healing, this 15-year-old was able to return to school and do well as reported by her mom at year’s end.
I have another 17-year-old who came to me because she wasn’t doing well in her ice hockey games – something that she excelled out for ages. It was as I was doing the work to clear this issue that her mother wrote a note to me telling me that her daughter had lost 4 of her close friends in the last 3 years. Was there anything I could do about that? Well, because she was there in the session, I was able to help her daughter with that much larger issue in her daughter’s life.
So, we need to be careful not to make judgments and to do the best we can to understand the whole situation. Of course, if a teen would prefer their parent not be there with them, that is up to them and of course, the info is kept confidential but I do believe that you can better understand why I do things the way I do with these 2 of hundreds of stories of parent-child healing through the years.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.