This was an excellent question that ought to be asked much more often by therapists. I have found in the many years of doing mental health work, too many therapists hold on to clients sometimes for decades when they have no idea how to truly help them. Here is how I answered this question:
This may be a shock to you, but your therapist is doing you the best favor ever! I wish many more would have the common sense to know when they have gone as far as they can with patients and refer them to someone who has a different manner of working, maybe a specialization in the patient’s issues instead of feeling frustrated by the ineffectiveness of the work they are doing with their patients. It takes a form of humility that is lacking in the field to be willing to do this most important service for those patients who could do more and better with someone with different training.
The other thing that you need to realize is that unless you have a mental illness that is incurable, meaning personality disorders or schizophrenia, it isn’t meant to be a life-long deal. One needs to learn how to function in life for one’s self for that is the purpose of therapy – not a co-dependent affair where one is incapable of living without the weekly sessions. This is a huge problem that I personally have with the 12-step programs. There is a difference between getting the support one needs to come through a difficult situation and quite another feeling that one is lost without the support. And, in terms of 12-step programs, I have helped 1,000s of clients over the last 20 years let go of all types of addictions for over a decade and a half so it is doable, but one needs the right tools and techniques along with having open space for the client to actually be able to move on from their addictions for good! This sadly isn’t the paradigm for addicts, but it needs to be because it is possible for them to let them go for good be it substance abuse, eating disorders, sex addiction, etc.
Thanks for your question. Thank you therapist for his humility and see who he may have to refer you to. Do a free consult with them over the phone to see if you ‘clique’ and if so set up an appointment. If not continue till you find someone who is worth your investing your time and emotions into getting to know well enough to trust and work well with. Good luck on your healing journey.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.