Before I met Suzanne, I was living with a feeling of profound contradiction. On the outside, I tried to show myself and the world that I was basically “recovered” from eight years of various eating disorders, body dysmorphia, anxiety, and anorexia. Long and extremely expensive sessions of therapy, as well as my own improvisations, had taught me how to act in a healthy way, even when I felt completely unhealthy, confused, and messed up inside. I no longer acted out anorexia in such a visible way, but I felt like very much the same person that I’d been on the inside.
The extreme pain and stress of dealing with friends and family was somewhat relieved, since they believed (and I tried to convinced myself, too) that I was normal and happy again, but the stress inside was even worse than it had been throughout much of the time of more visible anorexia. I felt like two completely different people, maybe even more, were fighting within me on the inside, and I was really frustrated, hurt, and disappointed that “normal” therapy and even all my hours of journaling and desire to change had only succeeded in making me look healthy but feel worse, and I felt hurt that the cost of appearing to be healthy to myself and others was so much anger, confusion, and contradiction inside.
Then, just before school let out for the summer, I discovered one of Suzanne’s brochures. The funny thing was that it was a “Quit Smoking” brochure. I’ve never smoked in my life, but the powerful possibilities of hypnosis that Suzanne outlined there – how it worked to change not just behaviors or even just conscious, rational thinking (the two things which almost every other kind of therapy and self-help focus on), but on the unconscious, and the powerful images, associations, and motivations that are located there.
For me, her approach made perfect sense: I understood my contradictions intellectually, and I could write an endless list of all the ways that my habitual thoughts and behaviors were getting in the way of what I truly wanted to do and be—but I didn’t feel free to change them—to change on the inside, where it really counted to me.
What amazed me was how quickly and insightfully Suzanne was able to penetrate the real difficulties I was facing despite my own embarrassment about talking openly about it.
The best thing about working with Suzanne was that it finally felt like something real. She challenged me to take new perspectives and to articulate things (about my family, my ambitions, my boyfriend, and my body) that I’d been afraid of before, but the challenge was also an immense release: for the first time I felt the possibility—and then the reality—of being someone who I really wanted to be and doing what I really wanted to do in my life, instead of just feeling trapped with an old self and old habits from which I couldn’t get free. Now, I felt those chains loosening and began to realize—in a totally shocking way—how much power I had to undo them.
She was a treasure trove of tools and techniques not only for reconciling and releasing the past, but also for creating a present and building a future. This was truly lifetime therapy—for not only did I have her assurance that she would always be there, no matter what issues came up or however far into the future, she had also revealed new sources of strength and inner wisdom, and faith in an ability to connect with other people, that I knew I could count on for the road ahead.
I felt that Suzanne was in tune and aware, that she was really listening to my goals, and that ultimately, I would be the one to imagine and decide what healing looked, smelled, and felt like. From the beginning, the focus changed from finding the ultimate cure to learning the art of self-healing, and the recognition that our own powers are always within our reach. This profound difference from traditional methods of therapy was what made Suzanne’s work effective for me and inspired me to write this testimonial because I believe that many people would not choose to be as unhappy as they are if they truly felt that they could choose not to be. And Suzanne not just tells you, but shows you, and guides you, into learning and proving to yourself that when it comes to your life, you really do get to choose.
Carolyn S., New Haven, Conn
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