Today I want to share a heart-warming story, that just happened, (when I wrote this post for Facebook), which has many learnings inside it to help you understand the gifts you have in your life, even when things feel tough at the moment.
This morning I received a few WhatsApp messages from my “African daughter,” who looks into what I am doing here on Facebook. So Morine, you are the star of this post for the learnings we all can receive from your wisdom.
I had not messaged or spoken with her in a long while, but she was feeling down and reached out to let me know that looking for a bit of guidance, as this is the nature of our relationship, which I welcome. I serve as a mentor for her because of the opportunities I received coming from the U.S. that her parents did not receive coming from a small village in Cameroon, in Africa.
We met at the International School of Haifa at the University of Haifa in Haifa, Israel, both enrolled in its Master’s in Peace & Conflict Management. She is an amazing person, dreaming of making a difference in the lives of the children in Cameroon, thus her decision to go to a far-off land, with a very different culture than her own, not having any idea what she was getting involved in. I helped her better understand the Jewish culture, there being a Jewish person myself. I also helped her through some difficult situations as did the other folks in our tight-knit cohort in the Peace & Conflict Management program.
I saw that she was online, so I called her to find out what was going on with her and why she was feeling sad. She was happy to see my face for the time we could keep the connection that way – later we needed to go to voice only the connection not strong enough for video today. However, this is what I want you to learn from Morine:
1. Shit happens in life (using my phraseology having learned it from me – oh to be human, and just say what’s on one’s mind without having to use nicer words! I don’t so she didn’t – I prefer to hear the real thoughts, not some sterilized form. Though the larger lesson is that shit does happen in life, and we have to learn how to deal with it.
2. Let things go: We do not have control over all the things that go on in our lives. There is no point in ruminating about the past, because it keeps us in the past, instead of allowing us to focus on our present and create our futures the way we want them. Morine is helping both her parents; they are living with her and her family, needing her help as their health is not good enough for them to live alone any longer. It’s hard, but the gift here is that she is doing what is right and will always know she did that. She is role-modeling for her four-year-old daughter how to be a part of a family. I also suggested that she learn about her parents’ history since I did not get that experience from my dad before his passing. He did not like talking about his childhood, but it would have been great to know because it is a part of my extended history.
3. Accept what is, because by denying it, we are only making ourselves frustrated.
4. There is always a way to figure out how to do most anything in our life: We just have to remind ourselves 1)What we need to know? 2) Who do we know who can help us with an answer?
5. God did not leave me (while feeling frustrated that things are so difficult now), I left God. Morine is a Christian and has always had a strong faith in her God, whom she called “God” with me on the call.
She learned all these things through doing Time Line Therapy® in 10 minutes with me over the call. I couldn’t see her, but it did not matter. She was able to let go of her sadness and get on with her life.
I told her to journal daily, whatever comes to mind, and she will soon find the next steps she is to take to build on the great work she has already done, having returned from the U.S., where she did a fellowship with the American Red Cross, helping the citizens of African countries. She is an amazing young woman, not willing to sit with the status quo, always reaching for the stars. Which is indeed another lesson for us all. Never settle. Always go for what your heart desires, so long as it is helping the world become a better place. Morine has some time to spend with her parents, and during that time, she can work on what the next great adventure or opportunity is that she would like to go for and go for it. Because this is what makes for a dynamic, meaningful life. It is also what helps people live a longer, healthier life because of the purpose they are fulfilling.
Lastly, my great learning is that I am truly blessed to have such an incredible young woman in my life who is so humble, loving, and dedicated to the right things in this life. We need to never take for granted our loved ones and be willing to reach out. I told Morine of my Godson, calling me every week to check in, update me on what is going on in his life, ask for some advice, or, in some cases, he helps me as well; he is, after all, an adult in his own right now and has plenty to teach me. Morine said that she will call weekly now, because she realizes that I am available for her and welcome her calls, plus she feels better after one of our calls, and so do I.
Make all your days count! If you need help, there is always someone you can connect with to help you. There is AI to get general questions answered on almost anything. There is no reason to stay stuck and feeling alone in this world. Reach out and, you will be amazed at what you can learn to help you move on positively.
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