How to Live Life On Purpose-Vol. 625, May 18, 2023

Today I want to address the issue of how one can live a life on purpose because it is the only life worth living in my estimation. It is in fact what I spent decades working to figure out how to make happen in my own life, which is why I am able to work online and live wherever I choose to live in the world, though that was not the goal, to be honest. It just evolved that way.

Here is my story:

Long ago I was very unhappy with the amount of money I was making for the hard labor I was doing taking care of elders. This was during the time that I was in nursing school back in the late 1990s. I had a plan, but the plan did not work out because it turned out that though I loved learning how the body functioned and how to go about figuring out what was going wrong in the bodies of the ill, the actual work of nursing was not anything that I wanted to be doing with my life. I have to give my family some credit here because they all realized that I would hate being in a situation where I would be taking orders from others. Oh, so true…but, I learned much that I use in my practice today so it was worth learning the underlying subjects that one would need to know to be a nurse. It also helped me to understand the blatant lies being told by those in power over the course of the past 3 years.

The problem that I was working to solve at the time was to find a humanistic way to help my mentally ill patients because I was truly upset with the manner in which the programs in which I was working were treating them. There was an abundance of overmedication which was overly sedating to the clients. This was coupled with a demeaning attitude with the clients being treated as if they could not understand anything while taking their rights away. This left the patients with taking orders from the program directors and the majority of counselors who were in their twenties and knew nothing about life never mind how to help a person a decade or more older than them with serious mental illnesses to contend with. It was a ludicrous system and one I knew I did not want to be a part of.

It was only after exploring and finding out that nursing was not going to be the healing modality that I was going to use that the idea of learning and using hypnotism and a bit later neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) came into my world. This process of searching for the correct healing modality for me took from 1993 to 2002 to go through, so quite a few years.

But then a very interesting thing happened when I left Methuen, Massachusetts in 2013 and landed in San Pedro, California. I had a client call me who lived about 3 minutes from what used to be my home office in Arlington, MA a few years previously looking for services. He happened to be agoraphobic not wanting to leave his apartment for sessions so he was more than happy to do his sessions over Skype. That was the very first time I did online sessions just so I could help this one client. Now, I do all my sessions online because I live all over the world usually in places where English is not the first language so in-person sessions are unlikely.

However, there was another problem that was solved in that I always wanted to travel the world, and doing online sessions would allow me to achieve that goal as well.

So, the bottom line here is that if you find yourself having a problem, your job is to find a solution for it. Our minds are incredibly creative if we would only use them in this fashion to help us figure out how to live a life that works best for us. And, sometimes we are lucky and circumstances bring up other creative ways of getting our work done allowing for even more freedom as was the case in my case.

Living abroad for the past 3.5 years has brought me to incredible locals with even more incredible people and wonderful fresh food without the chemicals that we find in most of the food produced in the US even if it is labeled organic!

Trust me, these people are not worried about the problems of the Western World because they don’t live there. These people are focused on the work that they need to do to stay housed and keep the food coming into their lives. It is really that simple for the great majority of them. Though there have been a variety of professional statuses included in the people with whom I have stayed over the additional 1.5 years since I left Israel at the conclusion of my Master’s program.

So, if you are having a problem with how your professional life or your personal life is going, it is time to rise to the occasion and figure out how you can solve the problem(s).

There are many ways of figuring it out, though the best is through journaling to allow creative ideas to magically come from your subconscious mind as you write.

The other way is to continue to be curious about different possibilities for your consideration through reading magazines which was the way I happened onto the idea of becoming a hypnotist. Or you could fulfill your curiosity by going online and studying those who are doing interesting things with their lives and learning more about them to give you a vast amount of ideas from which to choose a better more purposeful life for yourself.

There is no reason to stay stuck in an unhappy situation, feeling miserable every day. We have access to so much free information and a ton of professionals doing things their way. By observing what they are doing and learning from those who share how they came to do what they do, anyone can carve out a magnificent purposeful life. It just may take you some time to figure out how to best apply these ideas to your situation. But that is alright because this is what allows one to realize the magical way that new ideas and indeed a whole other way of living can unfold which in itself is a beautiful thing to behold.

How Do You Know If Your Therapist Is Being Lazy? -Vol. 624, May 11, 2023

This was a question that I was asked on Quora, a forum where people ask questions and other answers them. This is how I answered the question:

There are many ways for therapy to be practiced. It sounds like your therapist is asking you to think about that which you are asking before giving you feedback – making you do some work because therapy is indeed a place for self-reflection to learn more about yourself and your interactions with others.

I am not a psychotherapist, but rather a hypnotist and I ask my clients lots of questions. In fact, the first session is their Detailed Personal History which has 14 questions and takes 2.5 to 3 hours to complete well enough for me to create a treatment plan that will change their life for the better. And, during the treatment, they will indeed have many more questions asked along the way.

However, I am also more than willing to give them tools, techniques, and advice when it is obvious that this would best help them in moving forward. Because I can attest to the fact that the majority of my clients have found these pieces of information to be life-changing (even after all the change work to help them to get their subconscious mind working for them instead of against them).

So, you make a great point, however, there are always 2 sides to a situation (when there are 2 people involved). So, maybe you could look at this situation from your therapist’s point of view in basically giving you the space to answer your own questions, and then from there, my guess is that he would elaborate on the answer that you gave him. Obviously, I am not him and know nothing about him, but this is what makes sense from my 30 years in the profession of helping my clients overcome emotional issues.

If you are not happy with the situation, there is nothing keeping you from moving on to a therapist that works in a manner that you find easier to relate to. However, I would let your therapist know that the reason you are leaving is because you are not there to not have your questions answered, but rather to get the information that you are requesting inside the questions that you are asking and if he is unable to do that, it is time for you to move on.

I suggest that people do this so that the therapist has the chance to understand what did not work for the patient because they are not mindreaders. That which seems obvious to you, may not be obvious to him.

What Situations Is Hypnosis Great for Resolving – Vol. 623 May 4, 2023

Hypnosis is great for many things, however, one needs to find a hypnotist (hypnotherapist) that specializes in the area where one is requesting help. This information can usually be found on their website. Most people realize that hypnosis is excellent for stopping smoking, and weight loss (though it is a bit more complex than many hypnotists would make you believe and it is best to have one who dropped a substantial amount of weight and kept it off to know you have someone who can truly help you. And, of course, stress release.

I specialize in working with people with emotional issues so we can call it anger, sadness, overwhelm, stress, etc. Or we can call these issues as they are called in the world of mental health – depression, anxiety, etc. In my case, I have innovated in the areas of anorexia (but the client must have a healthy weight because I work with the emotional end of things NOT being a medical doctor), bulimia, and sex addiction.

Kids are naturally in a state of hypnosis up to the age of 26 when the prefrontal cortex is finally fully developed – so they are easy to work with so long as they want to be healed of their issues.

However, hypnotists cannot work with those who have personality disorders or have psychotic features. So any hypnotist who says they can is not educated enough to tell you this and you need to walk away.

Do most of the leaders of the big US evangelical churches use mass hypnosis techniques? Vol. 622 -March 30, 2023

Yes, they do, by knowing how to mesmerize (Franz Mesmer, hypnotist from the 1700s) their parishioners. They know how to tell great stories – so that is the use of metaphor. They know how to use their intonations to ‘mark out words’ and for the faith healers, they know how to use multiple suggestions to bypass the conscious mind of their congregant who truly wants to be healed – the congregant has to 100% believe in the power of the minister to allow this to happen.

When you see people fall to the floor with faith healings, it looks very similar to what you see some of the subjects do during stage hypnosis shows.

I don’t know if they actually know that they are using the techniques of hypnotism since I don’t know any personally, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t being done.

The other thing that I want you to know though is that the number 1 hypnotist is your computer and 2nd your television set. You see ads on these things all the time telling you that you want stuff you never knew you wanted and then find yourself going out to buy it. It’s called marketing. The News on television hypnotizes people into states of anxiety – they are doing a great job these days with the coronavirus. So, the bottom line is that you are hypnotized by many different aspects of your life, you just really had no idea that it was happening. Now that you know you can make better decisions about what you allow into your unconscious/subconscious mind instead of being unknowingly hypnotized by the noise that is out there – everywhere you turn.

Thanks for your question Adrian, because you helped many others learn the truth about the environments in which we all live.

Can someone be disrespectful if they don’t intend to be? Vol. 621 – March 23, 2023

This is an interesting question. I do believe that one CAN be disrespectful even if one doesn’t intend to be. There are many times when people have the best of intentions, yet make a hard situation worse, because they did not have all the information required to truly be of help. This happens every time someone chooses to do healthcare work that is outside of their scope of practice – it happens more times than you want to know. It happens when one overruns another’s personal boundaries by forcing their ideas on how to solve an issue, without respecting the other person’s choice, and it happens when we fail to listen fully to what another is telling us. This happens a lot between spouses and children whose parents think they know what’s best for them. Trust me, often they do not because they have no idea where their child is coming from.

Being respectful to another occurs when we ask if we can make a suggestion and then only make a suggestion and let it go.

Being respectful is listening fully to what another person is saying and them making sure you understand them before believing you have the answers to their problems (especially true if all the person really wanted was to be able to vent about a disturbing event and did not want a solution from you).

Being respectful is to stop forcing your opinions and ideas on someone who has a different manner of thinking about the subject. We all have our own opinions and we are all entitled to them.

If your best intention caused a problem, it is up to you to make the situation right again. Ask the other person what you can do to make it up to them and do your best to do as they tell you. Relationships work out a lot better this way.

Am I the Only One Who Thinks That No One Really Knows Me? March 16, 2023

The only way that anyone will have a chance to really know you are if you are authentically engaging with others, without worrying what any one person thinks of you.

I tell my clients that we only really have time for a few really close friends, since the definition of being a real close friend to my mind, is someone who is there when needed, without excuses, and just shows up.

We are social beings like ants and bees, needing others to relate to.

So, if you don’t feel understood, notice if you even listen to yourself and those things that matter to you.

Then make sure you are interacting with people in an authentic way, so you know they like you for you, imperfections and all!

Why is it me who always contacts people who are friends in my mind, while they rarely try to keep in touch with me? Do they think I am not their friend or I do not deserve that? Vol. 619 – March 9, 2023

In some cases, there are people who aren’t really your friends, and in some cases, they do indeed like and appreciate you a lot, yet are leading very busy lives. I have one friend that didn’t talk to me for the 3 years I was in California, yet, was more than happy to offer me a couch in her apartment for a week while I was dealing with my mom’s declining health. She is also one of the very few people that I will text with updates, since she can do that between her acupuncture patients, and because she never misinterprets what I write, able to hear my voice in her head – that is how well she knows me.

I love to entertain, and used to do it a lot while I was married and had the space to do it. The great thing about that was that people really appreciated my taking the time to put those gatherings together. Even 30 years later when I speak to my old friends, they let me know how much they miss those gatherings.

What you need to realize is that you get out of your life what you put into it, that is all there is to it. One needs to know which friends are good for what things. I have friends that I could rely on to bring me to the airport at 3 AM or whatever horrible hour because I did the same for them. I have other friends that I can rely on for other things. It just really depends on who fits into what in your life, because they all have a place, so long as you feel that they are people that are worth your time and energy.

I was just sharing with my youngest sister that friendships can indeed change over the years. She has a friend from 4th grade and they are now 50 years old. So, at this point, she isn’t putting as much time and emotion into it, because this friend wasn’t there for her while my sister was dealing with my mom’s declining health, and passing away in Sept. Her friend has different priorities now. We can’t tell others what their priorities are, all we can do is back off a bit and allow the relationships to shift. I had the same thing occur with a friend of mine from college that I have known now for 39 years. He was taking our relationship for granted so I backed the hell away. His son brought me back into his life, since his father doesn’t have many friends and was apparently missing our interactions. His son has now moved cross country, and I moved back to New England from California, so now he’s been FaceTiming me or calling me much more often and bringing his sense of humor, instead of all the negativity that pushed me away for many years.

So there you have it. The many faces of friendship.

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