Oct 30 2017
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It really is the simple things in life like being present for those that need us that bring true joy.
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Oct 26 2017
If You Want the Chronic Symptoms to Go Away, Stop the Stressors – Vol. 425, Oct. 26, 2019
I can’t tell you how many times I find myself working with people who have chronic illnesses where the symptoms get to the point where they just can’t live with them anymore. The doctors give them medication to help alleviate the symptoms, and yet, the symptoms are still there. What is going on?
If you are a person who suffers from migraine headaches, fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, for example, you may just find your symptoms lesson if you take better control of your personal boundaries. For example, if you are a mother and your parents are telling you when they are going to visit the grandkids, and that time is not good for you, you need to let them know that it is you, the parent, who decides when the visits are happening, not they. I bring this particular example up because I had two clients with severe migraine headaches because their parents were dictating the calendar when the parents were retired and while the client had small kids with a schedule to follow. Once these two women took control of the time when the visits occurred, times that were suitable for the family as a whole, the migraines disappeared.
Boundaries are so important because all too often we want to please other people, not let them down, and in so doing we are putting ourselves out of the way. There are also those times when you would rather not put up with negative or abusive behavior for standing your ground. When this happens and you are suffering from a chronic condition, your condition is going to flare up, letting you know that your body is not happy with the overrunning of your own personal boundaries.
If you are in an abusive relationship and you are suffering from a chronic condition, your body is going to let you know that you need to make a change.
I had a client not that long ago who had an adult child who was a drug dealer. This kid was always getting into trouble and the mother was always getting stomach aches. It was her body letting her know that she needed to be out of this situation because there was not a thing she could do to make her son stop his illegal and damaging behavior. The best she could do for herself was find a different living situation for herself, which she did. She is still concerned about her son and wants the best for him, but she no longer has to have her emotional space violated every day, never knowing what is going to happen. Some days he would be kind and considerate and other days he could be abusive all depending on the drugs that he may or may not have ingested and the people that he was hanging around at any particular moment.
I had an older client who had a husband who was very frustrated with the fact that he couldn’t remember where he put things or when to pay the bills, etc. She did her best to get him to organize his papers, but he was unwilling to do so. Well, they would have arguments and as a result, she would end up feeling very depressed and would sometimes develop pains in her body as well. In this case, we found out what the underlying problem was for the husband and it was taken care of as best it could be. Things were quite a bit better for them from there since they better understood why his memory was not as good as it once was, though not perfect.
If you have an illness like congestive heart failure or diabetes, you have to eat appropriate food. So many times people are out with others and they are tempted to eat things that their body just can’t handle. Well, if you want to feel good, staying away from those irritating or damaging items is what you need to do. In the case of congestive heart failure, salt is a no-no as sugar is to a diabetic, including alcoholic beverages that are made from sugar.
We were all given a brain, which can help us if we are willing to listen to the indicators that it gives us. The problem is that all too often we fail to listen to the signals given to us, creating worse problems later. Please, listen to your body. If there are people in your life that are making it more painful for you to live, you need to do something to create better boundaries. There is no reason to continue to put your body and mind into these situations. Because, in the end, the only person that is responsible to help you is you, right?
Oct 23 2017
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 8:50 — 8.2MB)
Have you ever been in just the right place at the right time to assist someone else? Do you believe it was luck or by design? Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck shares her thoughts and experiences on the subject here.
Oct 19 2017
Hanging Out With The Older Set – Vol 426, Oct 19, 2017
Years ago I used to work in elder care, and at that time I learned simple words of wisdom. The biggest goal of a good life is to love and be loved. Put in over 150% each in every relationship you have, so each can help the other during the challenging times for each. Never live a life of regret or resentment, it’s not worth it. Do those things that you want to do, so you never have to regret not doing them on your deathbed. And, let go of the anger and resentment, which I know can be difficult, yet it is your best interest to do so.
However, I am now spending time at the home of a friend of mine who is significantly older then I am. Back in the day, he was into traveling the world, going out to cultural events and eating nice meals on the water. Now, he is dealing with much-declined health and is unable to enjoy doing these things just because he wouldn’t get the care he needed years ago.
One of my friend’s favorite things to do is to drive along the water, looking out into the Sound, looking at the boats and whatever wildlife is to be noticed. As we drive through the area, he is telling me of the wealthy people who live in these amazing multimillion-dollar homes near the water, and all the fancy social engagements of society they attended. It’s in the past tense because the grand majority seem to have either gotten into addictive behavior, losing their fortunes or died of some disease associated with older human beings.
Though, as we pass the beautiful homes and go through some land that is close to a reservation, the herons and condors sit nobly on their perches way high up. Deer are sometimes seen dashing across the open grasses. These animals know how to enjoy the easy way of life, so it seems from our observations. Why is it that we humans have such a hard time respecting our bodies and minds?
In the last week that I have been here, I have heard of several deaths, a heart attack, someone who went into serious dementia and a stroke. All of these people created amazing livings for themselves. However, I believe there is a deeper message here. People who are too busy “doing” and are unwilling to sit long enough to listen to their body’s wisdom, or people who feel their jobs are too important to put on hold for some procedure, or just are unwilling to get the testing that they may need to find the issues lurking deep inside them, may find that their bodies are no longer capable of doing those things that used to be so easy. Walking becomes very hard when you have fluid in your feet and ankles, not allowing for appropriate movement. Going any distance at all is hard when your heart has been seriously compromised. One can’t go for long periods without eating appropriate food, or the body becomes malnourished making the symptoms worse.
Now I realize why my friend would not get any help years ago. The answer is that he feared what the medical professionals would find. He figured that if he didn’t get regular checkups or got himself checked out when he wasn’t feeling very well, he’d save some money and pretend that all would be just fine. He realizes that all these multi-millionaires who are dying could have done better for themselves had they chosen to, as he speaks of the loss he feels from their absence.And yet, my friend is just as guilty as they. He was just a bit luckier, as his issues put him out of commission for eight days, where some of the others left their families behind as they entered the other world.
I hope this episode scared my friend enough to make him follow the special diet that his body now requires, and to take his medication as prescribed. I hope he will take better care of himself, and yet, the only one who can do that for him truly is him. Because, I know that there are many people in his life who truly love and care about him given his sense of humor and vast knowledge, but they can’t do it for him, he has to do it for himself.
Oct 16 2017
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Do the people around you see you for who you are today or are you still being judged for events from the distant past? Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck shares her experiences and perspective on the matter.
Oct 12 2017
Photo by skyseeker
Why Are You Where You Are Right Now? – Vol. 424, Oct. 12, 2017
When I left California on August 1st, I knew I was coming back to the Boston area to see a few clients of mine that requested to have some sessions with me. I also knew that I wanted to be there in time for the National Guild of Hypnotists convention since it had been many years since I had attended it. What I didn’t know was that I would be learning of my mother’s physical decline, which would end up with me being by her deathbed with two of my sisters and their spouses ten days after I first saw her. Nor, did I expect to be here in Connecticut at a gentleman’s home who I have dated on and off since 2006, while he has spent the past week in the hospital. No, what I was expecting was for the two of us to spend a few days together looking at art and seeing some interesting sites as we always did while we were together.
So, I ask of you: Why are you where are right now? Because it is my guess that you may have thought that you knew why you were where you are right now. However, many times there are larger forces that bring us to these places that we didn’t even know that we needed to be. You may call this force God, or the Divine as in “Divine intervention” or as I call it “my Creator.”
We humans, especially of the first world spend so much of our time worrying about the smallest of things really. And yet, there are so many things that can throw our lives into a different place, at least for a period of time.
My mother made a decision that she couldn’t enjoy her life anymore. She was in unrelenting pain from her rheumatoid arthritis, she was always cold and she could no longer enjoy even the small things that she once did. Wheelchair-bound, reliant on others for everything, she realized that she had a good life, as she put it to me the day before she passed away, “I had two wonderful marriages and had fun raising my five kids.” Well, if that was the sum total of what she wanted to remember of her life, that was a true blessing.
Regarding my gentleman friend, he was on the other side of life, where his biggest fear was that he was going to die. It’s true that he is only 70 years old where my mother was 84. It is also true that he has many friends and can at times be totally engaged in life. However, there are also times when he gets very down and isolates himself and this he said has been going on for quite a few months. He was having a hard time breathing, and he was feeling light-headed when he would get up. The edema in his feet and ankles were making it very hard for him to walk anywhere – also signs of his larger health issues. And yet, he wants to live as he has much he still wants to do, places in the world that he wants to explore, books to read and art exhibits to see.
If you are finding yourself not feeling good, having lightheadedness, unable to move your feet because your ankles are inflamed, unable to breathe well enough to make it up a few steps, by all means, get the medical attention that you need. Stop putting it off, because like my friend you are fearful of what you may find out. He came very close to the end because, without a phone that was charged up, he couldn’t call for help. It was because I was here visiting him, that I could take him to the urgent care, where he was taken by ambulance to the emergency department of a nearby hospital. It was only because the Divine had placed me right here at the moment that I was needed that my friend was able to get the medical attention required.
One of the things that my mother taught me from her own example, was to always look the scary stuff right in the face and deal with it. Find out everything you can so that you can make good decisions. And, this is something that I want to hand down to you. Only you know how you are feeling, and only you know if you need help. So, please, do what you need to do if you find that you can’t take care of a problem on your own and ask for the required help from someone who can help you. It may be that they have the skills to help you. Most likely, they will need to bring in some specialist to get the job done. None of us can do it ALL on our own. So, do take a look at which side of the equation you are on as the “helper’ or the “helped” and be strong enough to do what is being asked of you, on whichever side of the equation you find yourself.
Oct 09 2017
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 15:32 — 13.8MB)
The death of our parents is something that all of us will have to face at some time. Suzanne Kellner-Zinck talks about the experience of losing her mother.
