Aug 01 2019

10 Things Emotionally Stable People Do

happiness photo10 Thing Emotionally Stable People Do – Vol. 508, August 1, 2019

 

This was a question that was asked by someone on Quora. I thought it was an excellent question because many people really have lost any sense of what is considered emotionally stability. So here are 10 Items for you to ponder if you would like to come across as emotionally stable to those around you.

  1. They take responsibility for their actions and remarks. In other words, they don’t blame others for their own stuff.

2. They are able to empathize with others being loving and supportive in constructive ways without overdoing it.

 3. They have good personal boundaries.

4. They never take things personally that aren’t personal.

5. They don’t whine about their life’s challenges. They invest in getting the support necessary to overcome them.

6. They concentrate on their own goals and live life to the fullest.

7.  They allow others negativity to flow off their backs

8.  They are secure in themselves and never need to prove how great, smart or wealthy they are – they are just regular people.

9. They never make up stories about others pretending to know more than they do about another’s life.

10. They are happy to be friendly with all races and cultures of people to learn from them.

Jul 29 2019

286: What Does It Feel Like to Be Hypnotized – Claim Your Excellent Life

Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck describes what the experience of being hypnotized is like.

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Jul 25 2019

My Spouse and I Don’t Get Along, What Should I Do?

arguing photoMy Spouse and I Don’t Get Along, What Should I do? – Vol. 507, July 25, 2019

This was actually a much longer question from another Quoaran on the platform Quora. She actually wanted to know if she should stop eating to prove a point to force him to treat her better because he was always angry.

I told her that she was asking the wrong question, for not eating was not going to do a thing but make her sick. So I suggested she ask herself some different questions: Why is it that he is unable to give you emotional support? Was he ever able to give you emotional support?

You see, some people never learned how to give emotional support to another, and in that case, it would be best to leave. One cannot expect another to do something they do not have the ability to do. She also stated that her husband is angry all the time. It is very unhealthy to live with endless anger. One will have a very poor outcome, emotionally, physically or both. Given that finding someone else who is emotionally supportive is important to her, moving on would be the way to go. However, one can’t just find someone right after a long term relationship. What one has to do is to get back in touch with one’s self first. Once she knows herself without the negative impact of her husband, then she can work on finding a more supportive and appropriate mate.

Now, if he was able to be supportive at one time, but is going through his own challenges now, emotional or even physical changes in the brain can cause a lack of empathy for another. I had this situation with one of my clients years ago. He was in his early 70’s and the MRI showed that there was a change in the area of the brain that helps with certain brain functions. Regulating emotions was one function. He was very forgetful of things he once found he could do with ease which frustrated him daily. He would get angry with his wife (my client) all the time, even though she was doing her best to be loving and supportive, working on getting the medical care he required for multiple health issues. Once the information was found from the MRI she had a better idea of how to communicate with him, and he had a better idea of what was happening to himself.

So, the situation matters and it isn’t about using manipulation to teach the spouse anything. It is about finding out what is going on with him and whether or not she was able to help him through it.

I hope you found this case history helpful if you are finding yourself in a similar situation.

Jul 22 2019

285: What Do you Withhold From Your Therapist – Claim Your Excellent Life

Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck discusses the relationship between a patient and their therapist and what it really means when you aren’t willing to share everything with them.
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Jul 18 2019

How Can You Bring Yourself Back Up When You Are Feeling Down?

fixing photo How Can You Bring Yourself Back Up When You Are Feeling Down? – Vol. 506, July 18, 2019 

This was a question that was asked on Quora, a platform for those around the world to ask questions and for others to answer. The timing of this question coming in yesterday, couldn’t have been better.

I had to write what is known in the area of research as a literary review. I had not a clue in how to go about doing so even after reading a book on how to do it, watching the various videos the university has to teach how to do them and reading anything else that may help.

I spent 3 full days researching and writing and then had a tutor review it, knowing that I didn’t have a clue in what I was doing even with all the materials I had to help.

When I got the tutor’s review back I was devastated! He wrote it in the kindest way possible, but I hadn’t gotten the manner in which to write the thing  – though my research was on point and my conclusion was fine.

Talk about frustration!

So, what did I do? I took a breath, sat at my computer, rewrote it and sent the first two paragraphs t a tutor who I could chat with online. Based on her feedback, I rewrote the paragraphs, still having missed the point and so I went online again with another tutor who explicitly explained what I needed to do and where to place the information.

I rewrote the whole paper again, sent it into Grammerly (an app that corrects grammar which I love) and made the 60 corrections necessary. At that point, I uploaded the assignment for grading.

I received a perfect grade to my great astonishment for all that effort. This is because I still wasn’t sure if I had done what was necessary on this assignment. I gave it my best shot and that was all I could do.

So, in short:

Allow yourself to be upset for a few minutes and then fully apply yourself to figuring out how to resolve the problem, with humility asking for help as often as necessary to do a great job on said project.

Those of us who care about those things we endeavor to do can be very hard on ourselves. However, it is best to realize that we all have areas in life that are challenges and to be humble and ask for help.

Getting down on ourselves is only useful to the degree that it forces us to take productive action toward a respectable solution. This includes apologizing for hurting someone, failing at something or anything in life where one could be down on one’s self.

Jul 15 2019

Claim Your Excellent Life – 284: What I Do Not Fear About Getting Older

Master Hypnotist Suzanne Kellner-Zinck shares her thoughts and experiences on getting older.
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Jul 11 2019

The Destructive Habit of Comparing Ourselves to Others

Jealousy photoThe Destructive Habit of Comparing Ourselves to Others -Vol. 505, July 11, 2019

It seems we humans are excellent at thinking of ways to feel bad about ourselves. One of the worst habits we can have working against us is that of comparing ourselves to others. For one thing, one can never really understand what another is doing in their lives.

For example, over the years, I have had many young women come to me because they had yet to achieve some vocational goal or find themselves a mate to marry. They were always comparing themselves to their friends or family members wondering what was wrong with them.

Let me tell you something really important here: Until you walk in another’s shoes, you have no idea what that person’s life is like. You have no idea how happy or unhappy they are in that relationship you are believing is perfect. You have no idea the amount of school work that had to be done to get those wonderful grades. You have no idea how many hours went into building that successful business and all the close calls that were involved in keeping it liquid in assets.

I know for myself from being able to see into others most personal lives given the work that I do, that most of the fluff folks see on the outside, has little to nothing to do with the reality behind closed doors.

So, what do you do? Easy enough: compare yourself to yourself only. Look at those things that you have been able to achieve over the years. All the challenges that you have overcome. Then look to the goals that you want to achieve and work on them a little each day. Because you are the only one who creates your future the way you want it.

Here’s another piece of information for those who feel they need another to make them complete. No one out there can fill you up, completing you. This is something that each of us must learn to do for ourselves first. Be the partner you want to meet, and you will have an easier time attracting someone who is worthy of your time and emotions.

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