Mar 26 2020

What are the red flags that a partner is using you?

What are the red flags that a partner is using you? – Vol. 542-March 26, 2020

This was a question that was asked by a person on Quora and this is how I answered it:

Great question! If you think your partner is stringing you along, they probably are. Look, if you were getting your needs taken care of this thought wouldn’t even come into your head, would it?

Specific things to look for:

  1. Not responding to your phone calls or texts.

2. Not answering your questions straight on.

3. Making excuses for why they can’t be with you.

4. Making excuses as to why it is that your desires to be with them are not reasonable.

5. If you live with the person, they come to bed much later than you.

6. Spending so many hours on the computer – who knows what the hell they are really doing there?

If I were you, I would just move on. Once you move on, you will be amazed how fast the other person will come back – and by that time it is too late because you have figured out what their behavior was and deserve a lot better for yourself.

Mar 19 2020

What Factors Help Achieve Good Mental Health?

happiness photoWhat factors could contribute to achieving good mental health?  – Vol. 541, March 19, 2020

This was a question that was asked by a person on Quora and this is how I answered it:

Mental health comes from having a good sense of self, an ability to be authentic to who you are in the life that you are leading. It also comes from being able to understand when you aren’t feeling so great about things in your life and being willing to ask for help to get you through the more challenging times of life. Sometimes it is just needing someone to vent to or to give you some suggestions. Other times for the deeper issues a professional would be the way to go.

Nutrition is also very important in achieving good mental health because our body needs the amino acids in proteins to make the neurotransmitters that allow us to feel positive and contented in life.

Physical activity is another area that needs attention. When we expend some real energy, our happy neurotransmitters go into action helping us to feel good.

Having healthy relationships with the people with whom we interact is also very important. If you feel that someone in your life isn’t treating you respectfully, have a bit of a conversation with them and let them know that what they are doing is resulting in your feeling “x” and that you would prefer if they did “x” instead. The second “X’ being that thing that would allow you to feel much better.

Most of all, realize that this life we lead is in our own control. How we spend our time and with whom is what will determine our level of mental health.

Mar 12 2020

Morning Rituals: They Rock!

morning meditation photoMorning Rituals: They Rock! –  Vol. 540, March 12, 2020

So, you have some hard days you are going through and are feeling stressed to the max. Maybe you are feeling emotionally less stable than you would like. Well, let me tell you something: there is no need to feel this way because there is something that you can do about it every day – to get you feeling emotionally balanced, mentally alert and physically in better shape. Sounds like a whole being reset to me – and it is.

Many years ago when I began my hypnosis business I took many courses by successful entrepreneurs, listened to many recordings by the most well known in the personal development field and they all had one thing in common and that was that they made time every day for their morning rituals.

I know that many people feel that they don’t have the time to breathe, never mind taking an hour or more every morning to do their morning rituals. Ask yourself how a successful business person with a family of their own, is able to do this for themselves? If they can find the time, then so can you.

So, what do we include in our morning rituals?

The first thing is some type of mindful experience to get centered. Some meditate, some pray, some like me do self-hypnosis.

Next, journaling – just taking out a pen and paper and writing automatically anything that comes to mind and emptying your mind of anything that is in it. You may find yourself discovering new perspectives on how to get things done that had previously stumped you – or you may even find that you have a higher calling that you need to level up to do.

Gratitudes:  write them down, the big ones and especially the small ones. This will allows you to find your humility in life. Once you realize how lucky you have been, no longer will you believe anyone owes you anything but yourself.

Reading a self-development book or business book is the next thing on the list to keep you mentally on top of things.

Lastly, increase your activity. Many people just do exercises on their floors. I do Yoga with Adriane from her Youtube channel. It keeps my blood circulating, my muscles strong and my mind centered and in the ‘now’ as she is always instructing us to be in touch with our breath and the moment.

This is the best thing that you can do to help yourself each and every day to be centered and healthy. Give it a try and my guess is that you will love the results.

Mar 08 2020

Depression May Not Be A Mental Health Issue

A little while ago I wrote an article for Explore Holistic Called: Depression May Not Be a Mental Health Issue. Anyone who knows me at all realizes that this is one of my main problems with the world of mental health – rarely distinguishing what may be a physiological problem from a true mental health issue.

Here is the URL to the article:

https://bit.ly/39myS6n

Enjoy the read.

Mar 05 2020

Let Go of the Excuses: Be Who You Want To Be

Let Go of the Excuses: Be Who You Want To Be – Vol. 539, March 5, 2020

I was listening to a youtube interview yesterday that had this very message. It’s an important message because all too often people will find ways to get in their own way of being who and what they want to become in this world.

Certainly being in the world of mental health, I have seen all too many clients argue for holding onto their problems, argue for why it is that they need to hold on to some mental illness because some doc told them that this is what they had and to only expect to be able to function to a certain level.

Luckily, I have also had clients who just wanted to figure out how to stop making the wrong decisions, meaning decisions that led them to be unhappy, unfulfilled and in many cases, harming themselves with the self-harming habits that they had.

We live in a hyper world, with too much information, too much upset and too much to do. However, it is we who make the decisions as to what we choose to do with each moment of every day. It is we who decide how to react, respond or refrain from those issues that challenge us. It is up to us to decide if a problem or issue exists or if it is merely an opportunity to level up by solving it.

The only way to become who you are meant to be is by allowing yourself to dream and then take action. The only two questions that need to be asked are:

  1. What do I want to do?
  2. Who do I know who can help me achieve it?

Then it is just a matter of following the input that you are given. Yes, you will probably need to learn some new information and some new skills, and that is what makes life fun and interesting.

There is nobody who is holding you back from living your best life, fully expressed as the individual you are, but you. It is a decision to be who and what you are in every second of every day that you are conscious of. There is nobody else who can give this to you, it is a gift that you give yourself.

If you have issues that need to be released, expend the time and money to make that happen so that you can live your best life. However, never allow another individual to tell you what you can achieve, even if they have myriads of licenses on their walls. Because I can tell you that some of the clients that I have worked with over the years had licensed professionals who had labeled and then given up on. After our work together, these same individuals were able to let go of the labels and fulfill their own destinies. How? They let go of giving the right to anyone else telling them what they could or couldn’t do with their own brainpower. Your life is up to you, no one else. So, it’s about time you took an inventory of those things that you would like to clear and those things you would like to achieve. Then take the necessary actions a step at a time to make them your reality. If you do these things, you will find yourself fulfilling your life’s dreams, and what could be better than that?

Feb 27 2020

Why Is There Such a Rise in Mental Health Issues Over the Last 10 Years?

mental health photoWhy Is There Such a Rise in Mental Health Issues Over the Last 10 Years? Vol. 538, Feb. 27, 2020

This was a question that was asked by a Quoran and this is how I answered it:

This is a very important question that you ask and I am learning much about it through my research for my master’s in medical sociology.

I believe the most helpful answer comes from the kids themselves. They feel totally stressed out with all the pressures on them to succeed in school and every extra-curricular activity to gain entry to the best university possible.

They see the warnings all over the newscast regarding war, specifically that we Americans will always be at war someplace as it is all they have experienced.

They hear how the government is doing nothing about climate control with many scientists claiming that we are killing the earth.

And that doesn’t even touch the GMO and irradiated food here in the US, none of it labeled. The 6- fold increase in prescribed psych pharmaceuticals to kids with their gray matter being decreased as a result causing impulse control issues and lack of ability to have emotional control. We have 10,000 toddlers on psychotropic medications, so we are poisoning them and the list goes on.

However, the issue for the high school and college-bound is how to go to college with heavy debt realizing that the income once graduated (if they can find a job) will be less then what a person their parent’s age would have earned on their graduation into the workforce. Inflation is killing us and low paying jobs make it worse. How are they to pay tremendously high college debt, ridiculously high rents at least on the coasts and raise a family?

These are real issues that these kids are confronting which need to be dealt with in a realistic manner by the various governmental agencies involved.

It’s a naive person who believes that this is all about diagnosis, as we are a label happy society, especially in the USA. Check out all the questions on Quora where people are asking about psychiatric labels trying to label themselves or worse someone else without the basic understanding of how convoluted the DSM 5 is, especially with every normal emotion being pathologized to match some prescription to it, instead of focusing on teaching these folks emotional regulation and coping skills.

The Mental health system is a travesty, and so are many other areas of life here in the USA.

I was born here in the USA in 1961, to a father who was a dentist, now long passed away. So, I was raised believing in conventional medical services, however, my eyes have been open after being in the field since 1993 and dealing with psychiatrists who had zero ability to listen to their patients’ concerns especially regarding over medication. Sad, but true.

 

Feb 20 2020

I Can’t Fit in This World. Why do I Need to Get Out of My Comfort Zone Interacting With People Who Don’t Understand Me?

home photoI Can’t Fit in This World. Why do I Need to Get Out of My Comfort Zone Interacting With People Who Don’t Understand Me? –  Vol. 537, Feb. 20, 2020

Thanks for the question.

I was having a conversation with one of my sisters the other day, where she acknowledged that I was the ‘black sheep’ of the family as I have always gone to the beat of my own drummer. One can live life the way one wants. In my case, I am always up for new adventures. I have crossed the country twice and been up and down each coast, and around the globe a few times. I don’t have a ‘home’ at the moment and don’t care really. I am helping out a friend till I leave to get on with the next adventure and that is fine. Because it is through doing and being with people that one makes a good life as well.

My sisters, on the other hand, love their ‘nests. They have their homes, their families and pets. I don’t have any of that these days – being divorced for many years now, so I am on my own doing life as creatively as possible. The main thing is to be who you are and do what you care about doing. It is always great to be of assistance to others who could use your help, because it is helpful to them and gratifying for you. However, there are myriads of ways that one can accomplish this in the world.

The other point that I would like to make is that no one has to defend the way one lives to anyone. It really isn’t anyone else’s business so long as you are happy and functional. Of course, if you are not happy and unable to function in life, then those who care about you will let you know of their concern. It’s called ‘caring.’ Be honest with yourself about your state of mind and how you are doing.

**Update: I have left my friend’s home to continue onto my next journey which is at the University of Haifa’s International School where I am learning all about Peace & Conflict Management with students from literally all over the globe. If one wants to learn how to deal with international negotiations, it is best to be in the area that this is a necessary skill set, and be among peoples of the world who have very different cultural upbringings and life experiences than you.  So far it has been a much better experience than even I could have dreamed before arriving here to get into my studies. Which is another learning – one is never too old to continue to learn skills to uplevel one’s career.

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