Perform Your Way to Success

Volume 66, July 2008- Perform Your Way To Success

I recently had the great honor of working with one of the Boston areas great performance icons. This gentleman is in his eighties and has been performing in the area for over 60 years at this point. He came in to see me because he was having some difficulty in writing the material that he uses in his performances. On top of that he has had some physiological changes due to his age that he was hoping to get under control with the use of hypnosis. However, the most important issue of all was his lack of self-esteem. In short he wasn’t feeling all that great about himself because he was not making the sort of money that his family would like him to have made. Continue reading

Do You Have of Fear of Sleep? Here are Some Reasons and Strategies to Deal With It – Vol. 172, Oct. 26, 2012

"The sleep of Reason creates monsters&quo...

“The sleep of Reason creates monsters”, etching and aquatint by Francisco Goya (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are many reasons why a person may have a fear of sleep according to the article “Scared to Sleep” by Winnie Yu published in WebMD. According to Mathew Edlund, MD, director of the Center for Circadian Medicine in Sarasota, Fla, and the author of The Power of Sleep, sleep dread is very common. It is really a form of performance anxiety according to Alexander Obolsky, MD who as a psychiatrist specializes in trauma and stress.

For older individuals the fear not getting enough sleep causes them a lack of sleep.

Insomnia which affects about 40% of Americans is the most common form of this fear. When people worry that they can’t sleep, they find they can’t sleep.

Chronic nightmares is another fear based sleep disorder which is often experienced by adults who experience post-traumatic stress disorder. Of course children can also fear sleep if they experience nightmares. I would suggest you see a hypnotist to help clear this fear allowing for a good nights sleep.

Another cause of nightmares could be medications ingested. I had a gentleman call just yesterday. His doctor prescribed Chantix to him to help him stop smoking. He told me of two horrific nightmares he experienced while being on the medication. I have heard similar stories from others who have tried that particular medication.

Medication can also keep people awake if they are stimulants to your system. Double check with your pharmacist to find out exactly how your medications may be hindering your sleep either taken alone or in combination with other medications and/or supplements. Pharmacists are the specialist when it comes to understanding the chemistry involved in the medications and supplements you are taking so use their knowledge to help you out here. They are much better informed than your doctors ever could be given the ever growing number of choices out there and their information is free for the asking.

For those who suffer with sleep apnea they may fear stopping breathing during their sleep. A CPAP machine is the best way to handle this particular problem once diagnosed by a sleep clinic test.

I worked with an anesthesiologist who ironically had difficulty sleeping. During our work together we found out that he developed this problem after being awakened repeatedly while he was on call during his multiple residencies.

Having an old worn out mattress can also cause great problems creating back pains and pressure points of pain. Investing in a new mattress will take care of this problem.

Keeping a good routine before going to bed each night is a great way to let your body know it is time for sleep. I like to have a nice warm bath to relax. Once in bed the first thing I do is turn off my cell phones. I find that taking late night calls gets me into an excited state that hampers my getting to sleep. Next I read for a while, usually for an hour or so. Lastly I will listen to a hypnosis CD allowing my unconscious mind to work on any areas that I am working to improve in my life.

Whatever you choose to do it is always a good to:

1) Go to sleep at the same time and wake up at the same time.
2) Don’t eat or drink any caffeine for at least 4 hours before bed.
3) Don’t drink any alcohol for 3 hours before going to sleep because it lessons the depth of your sleep.
4) Take a warm bath or shower will help to relax you.
5) Keep your bedroom cool and dark.
6) Limit your bedroom activities to sleep and sex.
7) Reading right before going to sleep is a good way to relax before falling off to sleep.
8) Deep breathing, meditation or self-hypnosis are all a good help to fall into a good quality of sleep.

If you have an issue with getting enough sleep and you are not sure why, it is always a great idea to have a sleep specialist check to make sure you don’t have a physiological problem such as sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome. My client the doctor, had all the testing done before coming in to figure out what the unconscious issue was that was keeping him awake.

There are few things that are better than a good night’s rest. Remember your body needs the sleep to keep you healthy. With that in mind, it is worth it to do whatever you need to take care of this problem.

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Vol. 96, January, 2011 – Why The Pain? Doctors Found No Reason

I received a call a year and a half ago from a young professional woman who had been experiencing pain in her left shoulder for most of her life. She had gone to a chiropractor to deal with the pain. Though the adjustments did help, the pain kept returning after a while. It then occurred to her that her pain may be caused by something that happened earlier in her life, something that she could not remember. Continue reading

Feeling Naked Under Hypnosis: Myths and Realities – Vol. 171, Oct. 19, 2012

English: Hypnotic spiral for hypnotherapy. Eas...

English: Hypnotic spiral for hypnotherapy. Easy instant induction technique. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My webmaster was speaking to a woman he knows about the work that I do as a hypnotist. She is a person who has been in therapy for over a year. She has been thinking about using hypnosis to make more progress but has resisted thus far. Why? Because she believes that when one is in the hypnotic state, one is fully exposed, feeling naked, nothing to be left private because she will have been under the spell of the hypnotist to tell ALL!

So, let me tell you another story. A story of a client of mine that tells a totally different story of how hypnosis really works:

A few years ago I went to the Whole Foods store to find a supplement that was recommended to me. I asked the clerk where to find it. He showed me where the supplement was located. He asked me what I did for a living and when I told him that I did hypnosis he asked me for my card. A few weeks later he called telling me that he would like to come in to deal with an issue that he had with his girlfriend. By his reportage, she had done some terrible things to him putting him into a suicidal state, though he didn’t have it in him to actually follow through with his plan.

He came in for his breakthrough sessions and his tale of woe unfolded. We did all the work that was necessary for him to heal his depression, or so I thought.

A few weeks later my client called me to tell me that he lied about his girlfriend and it was indeed he who had done the nasty deeds that left him without his girlfriend. Could he come in and redo the work? He came in later in the week. We redid the work necessary where he was the one taking responsibility for his actions.

About six months later this client called me to let me know that he had found a very sweet girlfriend that had a couple of kids that he got along well with. He was as happy as could be.

I want you to realize that just because you are in a hypnotic state, doesn’t mean you have given up control of your mind. People can and do lie in hypnosis and I as a hypnotist would not know the difference. In fact, it isn’t really my job to know the difference. It is up to you, the client to be really clear as to why you are coming in to do the work, being willing to do whatever it takes to get the results that you have come in to receive. This may be by it letting go of a past relationship allowing for a new one to come in, or letting go of an eating disorder, sex addiction or just some fear that is getting in the way of living a fulfilling and happy life. With any change work “changes” are going to have to occur for life to improve.

Under the hypnotic state one is able to reach the unconscious (not conscious) material to reframe one’s thinking creating much better choices for one’s self. Indeed many times the choices found are simple enough to put into effect once enlightened as to what they could be.

So, is one being asked to become “naked” under hypnosis? I guess the answer to that question is really a matter of how much you would like to resolve your issues and move onto a better life versus keeping your problems and whining about them to get others to feel sorry for you. I can promise you this though. Most people have more than enough to whine about in their own lives and would be happy to have you be a positive force in their lives instead of a drain on their time and emotions.

Hypnotists are not in the business of listening to their clients whine. We are in the business of quickly effecting the changes necessary to the thinking and behavior of our clients so that they can be freed from whatever is bothering them, getting in the way of their living the fullest life possible. So if you want to continue to play games with your professionals, maybe seeing a hypnotist would not make much sense. However, if you are done with having your problems playing havoc in your life, hypnosis is a very good avenue to take so long as you trust the hypnotist to have your best interest at heart as well as having the requisite skill level to help you with your particular problem.

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Thomas P. Connelly, Dental Surgeon Questions Use of Hypnosis in the Huffpost – Vol. 131, Dec. 22, 2011

Thomas P. Connelly, D.D.S. wrote an interesting article for the November 30, 2011 Huffington Post based on a patient of his asking him to use hypnosis for dental pain instead of the Procaine anesthetic injection he was ready to use that day. This lead him to do some research into the efficacy of hypnosis for his patients never having really thought about how it may be a helpful addition to his practice.

During his research he came across an article that was written about a man who was able to have his teeth pulled out without any pain with the use of hypnosis which got Dr. Connelly thinking that though this seemed “far fetched” to him, it could indeed have some use for his patients, yet he was still skeptical. With a bit more research he came across the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association which sounded very official. He read their mission statement which said:

“To provide and encourage education programs to further, the knowledge, understanding, and application of hypnosis in complimentary health care; to encourage research and scientific publication in the field of hypnosis; to promote the further recognition and acceptance of hypnosis as an important tool in health care and focus for scientific research; to cooperate with other professional organizations that share mutual goals, ethics and interests; and to provide a professional community for those complimentary health care professionals, therapists and researchers who use hypnosis in their work.”

The only problem was that this professional man was still thinking of hypnosis as that which is used in the entertainment world having people do things like “bark like a dog.” I have to tell you that I have no idea where people get this notion other than perhaps some very old movies. Considering that I have been a volunteer in many hypnosis stage shows and have studied the art of putting on hypnosis stage shows I can attest to never having been taught to have people bark like a dog. However, I do have to say that there are certainly some hypnosis stage shows out out there where one needs to be cognizant of the nature of the show and thus what you may be asked to do. Contrary to most peoples’ understanding however, everyone who is on stage is hyper aware of the suggestion the hypnotist is giving them and what they are doing. One can always decide to not follow the suggestion. I saw this happen in a stage show that I saw a few years ago with a young woman being asked to sing a song like Whitney Houston and she did indeed decline to do so.

One of the other issues that Dr. Connelly raises in his article is the truth that there is little to no regulation in the world of hypnotism here in the United States.  Just as anyone can call themselves a coach,  anyone can put out a sign saying that they are a hypnotist. Though there are certifications that one can attain, there is no legal backing to any of the certifications. So how does one know that they are working with a well trained hypnotist or hypnotherapist who can really bring the results that are desired when one is employed?

Very often in these weblogs I speak to doing some serious research yourself into the hypnotist with whom you are thinking of working. By the way let me make it clear that although there are some differences in some states in the United States regarding the actual title you can give yourself, being a “hypnotherapist” only means that a person may hold a license to practice medicine or work with mental health. In the state of Massachusetts where I currently reside and practice, the titles are used interchangeably. In other words anyone can use either title. Further, I would like you to know that just because someone has a professional license to practice medicine or mental health does not mean they know or understand how to do hypnotic technique for it is its own profession with its own knowledge base. In fact when one looks through the history books there are plenty of lay hypnotist who were able to do amazing things with their hypnotic abilities. One who comes to mind is the late David Elman who was a stage hypnotist who was asked by the doctors and dentists of his time to teach them how to use hypnosis in their practices. He and his wife spent much of the 1940‘s and 1950‘s traveling the country doing just that, using the patients of his students to demonstrate everything from how to create true painless childbirth to dealing with fear of needles.

So how does one know that they are dealing with a hypnotist who knows what they are doing? First you need to realize that there many different areas of expertise a hypnotist may have, not too different then when one is looking for a lawyer. Look for a hypnotist who has proven experience successfully getting results for their clients in the specific area of help that you are seeking by first by checking out their websites to see if they have meaningful testimonials from clients who were dealing with a situation similar to yours. The testimonial ought to talk to the presenting problem, what it was like to work with that hypnotist and ending with the successful outcome of the treatment.

Second, if you read the website and notice that the hypnotist has answered many of your questions inside their blogs or inside the general content, that would give you some idea that they have an idea of what they are talking about. You are not interested in what doctors or others have to say unless they themselves are speaking to the results that their patients received or better that they themselves have received through working with that hypnotist.

Lastly, call the office and see if you can speak directly to the hypnotist so you can get a sense of who they are and if you would be a good fit with them. With hypnotism as in any therapy it is important that you like and trust the person with whom you are working. If you are unable to speak directly with them on the phone see if you can have a free consultation to make sure that you are making a good choice for yourself.

I thank Dr. Connelly for being willing to write on this subject, one that needs to have much more discussion so the public has a better understanding of what is possible with hypnotism and with whom you ought to go to receive it.

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Do You Fear Rejection? How About Rethinking It? – Vol. 170, Oct. 12, 2012

I have many clients who fear rejection. In fact, I just had a situation where this came up in my own dating life. I had just begun seeing a gentleman who was sweet and caring. He has a great sense of humor and an ease of telling stories and jokes. He also is a mental health professional. The only problem I had was that he wanted so much time for affection, always wanting to be close to my body. He had a need to constantly be touching me. It was to the point that there was no time for me to enjoy the other aspects of his wonderful personality or all the other activities that he claimed he enjoyed. When I brought this up he felt rejected. I told him that he was taking my message in the opposite way that it was meant based on his being rejected before. I wanted more of him – all of his great story telling and joke telling gifts. To be able to spend time with him out in the world doing things. To have that we needed to be able to do more than fulfill his physical needs even if he thought he was “pleasing me.” He thought about this for a moment and understood that it was his own “neediness and whining” that was the problem. I asked him to ask himself what he would do with a patient of his who had this problem? He said he needed some time to think about this one. He never did get back to me with an answer to that question so I let the relationship go.

It was because of this gentleman’s behavior that I made the decision to let this relationship go. So the learnings we can all take away from this situation are:

1. Take responsibility for the results of your social interactions with other people since they are responding to how you are behaving toward them.

2. Do an honest objective assessment of what you have to offer someone.

3. If you are interested in a particular person, do an honest assessment of whether what you have to offer is what they are looking for in a relationship.

4. Do an an honest assessment of whether what this person has to offer you is what you are looking for in a relationship.

The message here is simple. Is it you who is being rejected or is it you who is not being capable of giving of yourself in an inviting manner? Does this person you are with fulfill your needs in a way that allows you to feel good about your interactions? Remember, there are two people in any relationship that need to be taken in to consideration. The more we are able to be aware of this fact, the more fulfilling our relationships with others will be allowing feelings of rejection to disappear.

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Getting the whole picture

Vol. 52, May 2007

Recently I had a client call in because she could not understand why it was that she was eating herself to death. Here she was in her late 40’s fairly healthy and with two sons who were grown and in college. She and her husband were at home with only her beloved dogs taking any time and energy away. In the past it was easy for her to go out running every day. She had been doing so ever since she was in the military to keep in shape. Yet, all of a sudden there was no interest in running. Continue reading

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