Is An Eating Disorder Robbing You of The Gentle Hearted Kid You Brought Into This World? Some Answers to Turn It Around

MonicaVol. 188, Feb 16, 2013

I came into the world of anorexia when I was 12 years old. My sister who was 5 years older had a best friend, Laurie, come home from college with her after her first year. She was in my sister’s room helping her to paint it from a lavender purple to a light blue. Her jeans were hanging off her slim non-existent hips, wearing such a large t-shirt it was hard for me to understand why she was wearing it. She went back to college to return home for Christmas break looking so emaciated it was difficult to look at her. She returned to college, never to came home again. She had contracted pneumonia with her body so malnourished from the anorexia, she succumbed to the illness. She was 18 years old.

As sad as it is to know that an 18 year old college student needlessly passed away, it is terrible to know the staggering to realize that between 1995 and 2006 anorexia has jumped by over 119%. Worse many more younger children are affected by this horrific illness of the mind, starting as young as 8 years old. One would have to assume that this has little to do with fear of maturing given that they are still kids. At this age the development of the mind is still very concrete, taking information in quite literally. Being a hypnotist, working in the unconscious mind, that part of the mind that is literal, one needs to be very careful with the languaging that is used while one is in a hypnotic trance state, which is the state these kids are in 24/7.

Also as a hypnotist, I am well aware that the prime directive (main purpose) of the unconscious mind, is to protect the conscious mind from dealing with whatever may be too upsetting for it to know, even if the behavior is self-destructive. This is indeed the reason for repressed memories. With this in mind it is important to look beyond the presenting problem of the issues of the repulsion of food for the anorexic and the compulsion to eat of the bulimic. These behaviors “numb” out the feelings, getting rid of the unwanted negative thoughts telling the child that they are “to stupid, “unworthy of eating”,”unworthy of love”, or worse “unworthy of life”. Many of my clients speak of not even knowing why it is that they are even alive, many thinking that dying would be a better way to go given the emotional pain that they experience every single day. Also, do understand that for some anorexics, the starvation itself creates the release of the dopamine that results in “numbing” the mind from the constant negative chatter that is heard in the mind.

Until my eating disorder clients started showing up, I never realized how demeaning and rigid the treatment places were in dealing with their rather frail patients. No one goes to an in-patient unit unless it is seen as necessary. I looked into eating disorder treatment centers and the backgrounds of those who run them. Where I thought I would find some sort of formal training in the condition, none was to be found.There really is no underlying educational component involved to help work with this all too often fatal disease.Some people get involved with it because they have had the issue themselves. Some because their kids have gotten through it, the parents thinking they have found a better answer

The one over arching plan of action in these so-called treatment centers is the belief that if the child gets their weight up to “normal” they will be fine, as if the idea of being fat, and feeling gross upon the child leaving will set them up for success. If one looks up eating disorders on the internet, one will find many places where it is noted that the eating disordered person is looking for ways to “fake” their way through treatment to get out. They just want to live the way they know, feeling in control, even if it is really the illness that is in control of them. The clients who get better do ultimately come to this conclusion.

I would like to submit that one doesn’t just come down with this sort of deadly illness. There are always larger reasons why something like this is able to take hold. Though I am not in the business of blaming the family for the illness, I am in the business of seriously looking deep inside to figure out what sort of messaging was given at an early age in an effort to heal those hurt feelings. This will allow the family to feel healed, whole and complete. One needs to remember that the unconscious mind of a child under the age of 9 is unable to reason, rationalize or judge what a person in authority is saying, taking it in just as it is said. That doesn’t mean that because a parent said something that the child took in as hurtful is the cause of the problem. Rather,it is to become more aware of how we interact with the younger among us to negate this sort of unintentional degradation of self to occur as best we can. We are all human and as such all have our bad days.

Dr. James M. Greenblatt who wrote Answers to Anorexia: Breakthrough Nutritional Treatment that is Saving Lives also has a very important angle on the whole eating disorder issue. He states, rightfully so, that when one is malnourished the mind is unable to process information “normally” with the neurotransmitters and hormones being thrown out of balance. Therefore, it is very important to get the correct nutrition into the child, to allow the brain to function as it should.

My main issue with many of the treatment centers out there based on my clients negative response to them, is that they operate as rigidly as the mind of an eating disordered patient. This is the same person who is already tearing themselves down with a constant barrage of negative commentary inside the mind. Knowing this, it is my belief that goal needs to be opening up the eating disordered clients world. This is done by being more flexible, allowing for more choices, while learning to listen to their own bodies, all the while giving them praise and rewards for working in her own self-interest toward healthier living.This isn’t allowing them to manipulate the caregiver as they will do in every way they know how. It is to say, that being one step ahead holding them responsible for their double talk, while teaching them appropriate boundaries with others is much more helpful for them to navigate the world they live in outside of a treatment center. In short, they need to emotionally mature to equal their chronological age in order to “fit in” with others, one of the main complaints of this population.

The best way I know to get them to achieve good health on the mental and emotional level is for them to create their own “compelling future”, something that has more emotional significance to them than remaining ill as they get all the attention, even if negative, from being ill.

One way to get a teen-ager to gain weight is to let her know that those healthy babies that she so desperately believes she would like to have, will be possible only if she is healthy herself and able to nourish the developing fetus. Of course we don’t want young kids to get pregnant too early. However, the point here is to be aligned with the one thing that the client truly desires in life and work from there to help her to get her health back.

With this in mind, I am in the process of raising money through my indiegogo campaign which you can learn more about and contribute to at http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/healing-eating-disorders-in-teens-and-children  to develop a program to help the families of eating disordered kids to better understand the illness while helping them to heal.

This is so important because we are losing some of the smartest, most creative kids at such an early point in life, they don’t even know who they are, never mind what they would like to be when they grow up. It is through helping the families heal that the kids will be able to get well in a much more loving and constructive manner. This is the goal of the project. Please do what you can to help me to help these families save their kids. The research demonstrates that the earlier we get help to these children the better chance they have to become happy, healthy, productively fulfilled adults.

 

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Healing starts in your mind

Vol. 77 June 2009- Healing Starts in Your Mind

Anyone who has taken medication and felt better almost immediately realizes that this result most likely was too soon to be caused by the medication. This effect is known in the medical field as the “placebo effect”. Doctors are taught that 30% of the people who are treated with placebos will show signs of improvement. However they are also taught that this improvement is subjective and temporary because the illness will continue to take its course.

In 1993 a study was published in Clinical Psychology Review proving that 70% of the time placebos were effective in treating Herpes, stomach ulcers and angina pectoris. Placebos have also been noted to reduce cancerous tumors as well as regenerating the immune cells of AIDS patients. Continue reading

Defining Normal

Vol. 53, June 2007

A couple of years ago I had a gentleman call me. He was in a very difficult situation because he had gotten himself a criminal record by stealing jewelry from stores in order to feed his drug habit. The only problem was that he was still on the drugs, but couldn’t I help him get his life in order? Continue reading

Deep Breathing Reduces Stress according to Harvard University

La méditation (Danse Odissi, musée Guimet)

La méditation (Danse Odissi, musée Guimet) (Photo credit: dalbera)

 

Vol. 187, Feb. 9, 2013

I find it most interesting that when Harvard University is speaking about ways to reduce stress they suggest to their readers of The Harvard Health Publications of the Feb. 2011 edition, that deep breathing, progressive relaxation and guided imagery along with meditation would be the best ways to go.

What I find so interesting and bothersome about this is that all of these are components of a decent hypnotic induction though they refuse to make this acknowledgement.

Usually before a hypnotist will induce the trance (or hypnotic) state, the client will be told to take a few deep breaths. The reason for this is that the oxygen that is breathed in will go directly to the brain to began the relaxation that is the basis of all hypnosis.

Though I don’t use a progressive relaxation in my own practice given that it takes way too long to do and figuring the my clients would rather have me help them work out their issues, many hypnotists swear by them. Progressive relaxation is the main method use to deepen the trance state used by those trained by the National Guild of Hypnotists. It is a very gentle and effective method, though to do it well adds a significant amount of time, sometimes as much as 10 minutes or so to the creation of the trance state. I can induce a trance in 10 seconds to 2 minutes using other techniques allowing my clients to receive much more time to resolve issue then if I were to do a progressive relaxation with them. However, what Harvard states in their publication is very true: that stress will be diminished, the breathing is deepened the blood pressure comes down as the heart is slowed down. Though I would also like to point out that any method of deepening will achieve the same goal.

Guided visualization is the basis of much of hypnosis. It allows the client to use the imagination to create a much better representation bringing about better perspectives to achieve the desired outcome. Harvard states in this report that guided visualization is a way to reduce both the physical and emotional components of stress. Hypnotists use guided visualization to take care of many of the problems that clients come in with, allowing them to leave feeling much lighter and brighter.

Meditation with a purpose is the way that Julie Griffin, my first hypnosis teacher explains hypnotism. You see, one’s brain is at the same brain wave level as one would be meditating. The difference between meditation and hypnotism is that with meditation one is emptying one’s mind of content, while during hypnotism the same natural state is used to bring about the transformations that that client desires, thus the noted “purpose”.

The fine folks at Harvard suggest that one can either use a recording to achieve the relaxed state, or hire a professional to help one to get there. The only thing that was left out was the sort of professional one ought to seek out. This is unfortunate because the only professionals who really understand how to utilize the unconscious mind to get the results the client desires in a trained hypnotist or neuro-linguistic practitioner (also hypnotism by the definition that the manner in which it works is the same as that of hypnotism, by passing the critical factor of the conscious mind to enter the unconscious mind).

Though one would think that this information was really geared toward all the pressures that adults feel in the world, I would suggest that we allow our children to learn these techniques as well, the earlier the better. Children are by their very nature operating from their unconscious mind, not yet having the level of mental development as adults. They haven’t gotten to the point where they judge, analyze, rationalize and criticize as adults do, making them gifted trance subjects. Children are easily able to make the changes that would best help them to feel good while letting go of any thoughts, behavior, or habits that may be hindering their young lives.

 

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So Your Boss Screwed You Out of Your Job, What’s Next?

Volume 67, August 2008

I have been working with one of the brightest people I have ever met.Here is a man with not one but two master’s degrees from YaleUniversity who came in to see me because he had been out of work forover two years at the time.

After going through his history a few things became quite evident.First of all he was traumatized by the way his last few jobs ended. Continue reading

The Difference Between a Hypnotic Intervention and Mentorship?

English: Apprentice. Man and boy making shoes.

English: Apprentice. Man and boy making shoes. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Vol. 186, Feb 2, 2013

Over the past few years I have had some clients who started out as clients coming in to clear some issues go through the healing process, what I call a hypnotic clearing move into a mentorship program with me. There is a vast difference between these two services each serving a different purpose.

Generally a client will call because of an issue which has taken away enough of the quality of the client’s life to warrant the time and investment to gain treatment for it. In this situation the client is coming in to “clear” the issue and in most cases though not all, learn better communication skills for the creation of healthier and deeper relationships.

This work will include dealing with negative emotions and limiting beliefs, traumas, inner child work and letting go of limiting beliefs. Of course to gain success in achieving all of this, the client will create a compelling future in which to direct the time and energy that once went toward the creation of the issue(s) that originally brought them in for treatment. All of this work is predicated on the letting go of any reason, rationalization or excuses to hold on to any thought, behavior or situation that would lead to the continuance of the problem, while gaining a direction in which the healing can be realized – that of the compelling future – something to reach toward.

Mentorship is by its very definition the learning from another how to do a skill or trade with the end result being able to emulate the trainer. In the case of mentorship all situations that come up are dealt with however the client needs to be at a level of healing where the basis of the work is worked around the subject of the mentorship. At this level of work, there may be some times when a challenge will occur that requires a bit of an intervention, however the main focus is learning a skill that can be used to create an income, this being the reason anyone would ask to be mentored.

My mentorship program came into being as old clients came back to me, realizing that by learning how to integrate hypnosis in their own business endeavors, it would bring them a huge benefit. This was based on the deeper levels of communicating  able to be done with their own clients, creating their own products and services, or just being able to integrate hypnotic technique into their own businesses. The mentorships have been as varied as the ideas that my clients have come up for requesting one.

It is important at this point for me to make this distinction after having a client choose to be mentored, yet was really not healed enough to allow the process to work. She had great intentions, though the whole idea of learning how to create an income created quite an issue for her, still not being healed enough to move forward. This was something I should have caught, however, I was so caught up in the ideas that she had knowing that given her innate knowledge she could help a lot of people if we were to go forward. However, one really can’t move onto a mentorship program without first having one’s life to the point where things are running smoothly with the inner knowing of being  truly healed. One builds upon the other.

For anyone who is interested in doing a mentorship because you have an idea that is compelling to you, do realize that the first step is to have been healed to the point that I feel you are ready to move on to a mentorship program. This will be assessed with an application form going forward. This is to make sure that the program is a good fit for you in the attainment of your desired goals, because your success is indeed my success.

 

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Are You Just Sleep Walking Your Way Through Life?

Vol. 48, March 2007

Many people have had dreams to do some wonderful things with their lives. They have earned certifications or college degrees to do work that they felt was in line with their highest purposes, only to be unable to follow through in the real world.
I just finished working with a client in his early 50s who fits that description. He spent a lot of money on various training through the years, only to find that he was unable to follow through, lacking the self-confidence required. Continue reading

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