Apr 27 2013

Were You At The Boston Marathon When the Bombs Went Off? Learn the Symptoms of PTSD and What to do About Them

Vol. 198, April 27, 2013

For many it felt like a war zone with the blast occurring at the finish line. People hustled to take care of the injured as best they could after this horrific event. We know that those who are involved in life threatening events beyond anyone’s control might suffer post traumatic stress disorder as a result. From the hypnotic point of view, being in a highly emotional situation such is the case during events like this, the mind is open to the suggestions of fear, anxiety and hate one may be hearing around them. This would be in addition to any personal trauma experienced by the individual. For some who survived there may also be a feeling of survivor’s guilt, a wondering as to why they survived while others died. Of course if you lost anyone you knew, grieving the loss would be necessary.

Even with the training that the military personnel have, we hear of the many thousands who come home unable to live with these conditions of post traumatic stress and survivors guilt. Mental health professionals believe that civilians will be more susceptible to PTSD than military personnel in a war zone. This is because the civilians would never believe that bombs being exploded at such a beloved event as the Boston Marathon could ever happen. Mental health professionals also have found that man created events are more traumatic than those of natural disasters to those who suffer them. An act of terrorism such as this, leaves people feeling a lack of safety and security leading to feelings of distress not knowing if another attack will occur causing harm to self or community.

Please note: repeatedly going over the events with another will create more problems in the long run, so it is best to stop from doing so. However, getting a better understanding of what happened can help and ought to be done.

If these symptoms remain for over a month after the event you may be experiencing a PTSD response to the tragedy:

1) One can either have no recollection of the event OR they may have recurrent memoriess of the event.

2) Easily startled.

3)  More agitated than usual

4)  Inability to sleep

5)  Nightmares

6)  Desire to be isolated from others

7)   Desire for revenge

If you were a person who was close to the explosion, helping traumatized victims or traumatized yourself, you are going to have a much larger chance of developing PTSD. If this is so, do yourself a favor and get the help that you need.

Again, as a hypnotist, I want you to know that you can most likely be healed of these symptoms with some basic neuro-linguistic trauma removal techniques in a very short period. There is no viable reason to be in therapy for a long time and even less of a reason to be popping anti-anxiety medication. Just make sure that the hypnotist has a successful track record working with people who have dealt with post traumatic stress disorder and anxiety disorders. This is something you should readily be able to figure out by looking at the testimonials on the hypnotist’s website. I wish you the best going forward.

 

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Apr 20 2013

Boston Marathon Bombings: How To Best Deal With This Tragedy For You and Your Kids

boston-strongBoston Marathon Bombings: How To Best Deal With This Tragedy For You and Your Kids – Vol.197, April 20, 2013

The Boston Marathon being a long and treasured event in our country’s history, it is doubly sad and angering when it is used to create harm. However, what I would like to focus on in this weblog is how to best respond to this tragedy in a healthy manner.

1)  Limit or totally turn off the television to keep yourself from being negatively affected  by the massive media coverage. The reason that this is important is because your unconscious mind will take in all this negative reportage building up your feelings of anxiety and depression each time you see and/or hear a report.

2) Understand that we are unable to control every aspect of our lives. We are only able to respond to the events as they unfold.

3) If you feel yourself feeling tired, depressed or anxious get yourself some professional assistance to help deal with the trauma. It is much easier to handle when you share your experience with others.

4) Children under the age of 7 will not understand how rare this sort of event is, so do what you can do to let them know that they are safe.

5) Always validate your child’s feelings. Let them know that their feelings make sense and that it is okay to feel whatever they are feeling.

6)  If you aren’t sure what your child may be feeling just ask them what they heard and what they think. Then ask them how they are doing. Validate their feelings.

7)  If your child knew someone who was injured or killed be truthful about it. Always make sure to let them know that you are okay and as their parent you aren’t going anywhere.

Unfortunately we will have some distressing events occur over our life times.The best way to handle them is to be realistic about its effect both on ourselves and those whom we care about. Be loving and supportive to yourself and your loved ones. Always be willing to seek professional help if the quality of your life or a loved one’s life is being adversely affected.

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Apr 13 2013

How do I know if my kid has an emotional problem? What Do I look For?

A toddler girl crying

A toddler girl crying (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How do I know if my kid has an emotional problem? What Do I look For?  – Vol. 196, April 13,

Emotionally healthy children are able to demonstrate a range of emotions appropriately. These children are engaged in their lives with an aura of confidence. If they are having a problem, they will be able to speak openly about it to receive comfort and support.

Children who have emotional issues show it through an expression or repression of their feelings and/or change in their behaviors.

Indicators to look for:

Excessive fears and worries
Visible prolonged sadness
Easily triggered anger
Overwhelmed with guilt
Loss of interest in friends
Loss of interest in favorite activities
Sudden change in weight – gaining or losing to much
Sudden changes in sleep habits – too much, too little, nightmares
Seeing and hearing things that are not there
Substance abuse
Hyperactivity

A child that is always happy all the time or excessively loving may also have some emotional issues.

There are also children who close down their emotions having been hurt too many times, demonstrating a different set of emotional issues.

If you as the parent are noticing any of these indicators, here are some steps you can take to help your child:

If for example your child is triggered to anger very easily:

Find some private time and ask: Is there anything that I can do to help you to deal with whatever is causing the anger? I have seen you getting angry much of the time. Give a few examples.

Let the child know that you love them and want to help them.

Let the child know that s/he will not get into trouble by talking to you.

If the child is willing to talk, you can offer to help the child figure out what would be best to help the child feel loved and supported.

If the child feels that s/he needs outside help, you can ask the child what sort of help he or she would like? I have found in my practice it is usually the children who ask their parents if they can see a hypnotist.

If the child is unwilling to open up to you, let the child know that it is okay and ask if there is something bothering the child that he or she would like to keep private?

Usually when a child is fearful to speak with you, it means that they do not feel safe speaking with you about the problem. So, ask the child if S/he is afraid to talk to you.

Regardless of how the child answers, tell the child that it is better for you to find out from them, then to find out on your own.

Wait a few days to see if the behavior has changed. If not it is time to ask the child’s friends if something is going on that you need to know about.

If the feelings and behaviors continue it is time to seek some professional help. Your child’s safety is the most important thing here.

One thing that I would like to point out to you is that when a child is happy all the time or sad all the time, you need to take notice. It is these kids who are most likely depressed at risk for suicide if the situation isn’t dealt with.

If you have a child that isn’t eating, once again, the child’s life may be at risk, so take this as a serious indicator that the child may be depressed or is showing to have an eating disorder. Unfortunately this illness is effecting 8 to 12 year olds these days.

If you believe your child is getting into substance abuse, understand that there will be much denial about the problem, because that is the way the illness works. The substance abuser/addict will rarely admit that there is a problem. It is through being aware of what your child is doing and with whom your child is spending time, that you will have a better idea of what is really going on.Too many teens die due to abuse of substances these days feeling that they are immortal without understanding what their young bodies can tolerate.

Most of all, if you feel in your heart that there is something wrong going on, follow those instincts and get the appropriate help for your child.

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Apr 06 2013

Lost Someone Close to You: Getting Past the Grieving

Grindelwald Church Cemetary (horiz.)Lost Someone Close to You: Getting Past the Grieving – Vol. 195, April 6, 2013

Back in 1985, my father passed away. For me it was a shock having moved a few hundred miles away from home upon my completion of college. I had no idea of the changes that were occurring in his personality, the effects of small ischemic strokes. It took me several years to really process his death, having gotten much closer to him only six years before his passing. However, what I didn’t know then, was that grieving can be done in a matter of minutes when done with the use of the unconscious mind with hypnotism.

Quite a few years ago I had a young high school student come in for a session. She was having a difficult time with her hockey coach losing her desire to play. As we did the work to clear this issue, her mother who was in the session with us, wrote a little note to me. She asked if I could help her daughter to deal with the loss of four of her close friends in the past three years.

Kids being in a hypnotic state without my having to do a thing are easy to work with. So I let her mom know that I would take care of these losses for her daughter during the session. With each friend, I brought her back to the last time she saw them, then on to when she got the news of their death. I had her go through a process of imagining herself at the wake if there was one, the funeral hearing the eulogy. She was then instructed to then hug her friend. Finally she was to see the friend on the other side. The result for her was a true healing. An extra bonus was knowing that her fellow hockey player was with her as she played. This process turned her whole attitude around in a matter of an hour. You can read her full account here.

I had another client, a gentleman in his 40’s, who came in to see me for a drinking problem. He had done over $3,000 worth of damage to his brand new truck. As part of the work we did a clearing of those in his life that had caused him some harm as well as those with whom he was appreciative. When we went to do what is known as the “death scene” with his father, he told me how angry he was at his father, how much he hated the man and was glad he was dead. However, something very interesting happened as we did this work. At the point where he needed to speak to his father he broke down in tears, realizing for the first time how much he missed his father and how much he loved him. Again the process took about a half hour in this case, certainly a lot less time than the years it would normally take to bring some sort of resolution to the loss.

Grieving is a necessary process that needs to be respected for the healing that it allows. However, you can if you so choose, release the feelings of loss quite easily. By creating positive feelings, by learning of all that was gained by having that person in your life even if there were many destructive attributes. I have yet to have a client be unable to come up with less than three positive attributes of any person that was an integral part of his/her life. The end result is one of healing with the ability to move on no longer bogged down with the upsetting emotions one contends with while grieving.

 

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Mar 30 2013

Smoking Cessation: How Do You Know if You are Truly Ready to Stop Smoking?

Why have you abandoned us?Smoking Cessation: How Do You Know if You are Truly Ready to Stop Smoking?- Vol. 194, March 30

Isn’t it interesting that the people who already have a lung or heart disease who call in to stop smoking, always tell me that they can’t afford the cost of the one session to do so?

The reason that they can’t afford to quit their habit is because they purchase their cigarettes one box at a time instead of in cartons. However, this is not the reason they are not choosing to stop their smoking habit, it is merely the excuse for why they will not stop.

Those people who do come in to get the session done find that they have stopped smoking for a year or longer after they make the DECISION to STOP. You see, this is all it takes – a decision to STOP SMOKING. That is all. For those who try to stop and don’t succeed, the main problem is that they want to stop, however they haven’t COMMITTED to stopping their smoking habit and thus there is really nothing that can be done to help them to stop the habit.

You see, the part of them that wants to stop is the conscious mind, while the unconscious mind is keeping them smoking for whatever they feel they get out of the act of smoking – to feel calmer (truly interesting given that nicotine is a stimulant so is the opposite of calming), giving them something to do when they are bored, anxious or during certain activities that they have unconsciously linked up with their smoking behavior like drinking alcohol, driving or talking on the phone. In short, their cigarettes are their “best friend” always there to soothe them no matter what the issue is that is causing them angst.

If you are a person who has committed to stopping smoking, have tried myriads of methods with little to no results, hypnosis has been demonstrated to be one of the most effective ways of achieving your goal. Cardiologists at McGill University and the Jewish General Hospital, Montreal, evaluated four hypnotherapy trials involving 273 people and found that those who had some form of hypnosis were 4.6 times more likely to be smoke-free after 12 months then those without any form of hypnosis.

The reason behind this great result is because hypnosis brings together the two parts of your mind – the conscious and the unconscious mind allowing you to easily drop the unwanted habit. When you consider that there are no drugs involved, need to hold an electronic cigarette, or putting nicotine directly into your body, doesn’t it make sense to work with a hypnotist who knows how to help you end this deadly habit?

 

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Mar 23 2013

Friendships Are The Difference Between Wellness and Illness

Free Mall Girls Riding on The Escalator Creative CommonsFriendships Are The Difference Between Good Health and Illness – Vol. 193, March 23

It is amazing to me how many of my clients, generally the women, who are in my age range between 45 and 60 who have admitted to me that they really don’t have any true friends. They do have acquaintances through work or shared interests, but really don’t think of them as true friends. In many cases this has brought on a feeling of being alone in the world, leading to depression, drug addiction and other destructive behaviors. So let us get clear on what true friendship actually means and why it is so important to a well being.

Generally when we think abut true friendship, we are speaking of a relationship with someone with whom we hold high regard, someone who we trust and someone on whom we can depend to be there when we need them, as we would be there for them in their time of need.

The New York Times published an article on April 20, 2009, by Tara parker-Pope that looked into the science behind health based on relationships. Researchers in Australia found hat 22 percent of older people with a large circle of friends were less likely to die during the study than those with fewer friends. In 2008 Harvard University researchers reported strong social ties could promote brain health as we age.

So what constitutes a healthy friendship?

Friendships are based on mutual respect which means that the relationship needs to feel positive and filled with kindness on both sides.

Shared values is another aspect of true relationships. It is the underlining glue that holds a relationship together, though it seems rarely that people give this much thought. Maybe this is because our values are largely held in our unconscious minds. It is the common values shared where we may get a feeling of resonance with one another.

We get a good feeling while in the company of our friend, their generous nature toward us shining through in both word and deed. We feel like returning the favor because of the glowing feelings that we have for a like minded attitude toward our friend.

Take the time to be with your friends. Let them know how special they are in your life, never taking for granted that they know how you feel about them. Think about how you feel when something special is done for you and how appreciated you feel as a result. These are the moments that bring life, health and happiness to our existence no matter the pressures we may feel elsewhere.

I realized the importance of my friendships up to and during the few months that I was abroad a few years ago. I had left without knowing if I was coming back here to live permanently. It was during the “going away” conversations that I had with my closest friends and family that I learned how much my presence in each of these peoples’ lives meant to them. It was a priceless gift from each. While I was abroad, I had much time to reflect on these friendships and how they were the foundation that allowed me the strength to make it through any hardships. I knew that I was surrounded by people that I knew loved and cared about me, ever present, ever respectful of my choices in life regardless of how they may feel about those same choices. This isn’t to say that if one of my friends had a question of concern they failed to bring it up. True friends always raise the hard questions in a loving and constructive manner, which is a true gift of giving as well.

If you are feeling that a person in your life is bringing you down, or expecting much more from you than you are receiving in turn, it is time to revisit if this is a healthy relationship. Understand that it is quite fine to realize that perhaps over the years that you and your old friend may have taken different journeys. Departing ways is the correct thing to do. In so doing, it will allow each of you to attract others with more in common. This is a healthy and necessary path to take for each of you. One may do this by allowing the dying relationship to end, or by having a open respectful discussion to about the reality of the negative direction that the relationship has taken. You can then do the work to heal the relationship or choose to go in different directions. Either way can and will work. Just make sure that the termination of the relationship is done in a manner that is healing rather than hurtful as best you can.

 

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Mar 16 2013

Stress: You Feel it, But Do You Know What It Is Doing To Your Body?

Vol. 39, June 2006

People today are under a lot of stress. It seems as if there is never enough time to take care of oneself, never mind getting done all the things that need to get done in any given day. Even positive situations like having a baby or starting a new job can create stress in your life.

You may feel the stress as a slightly sick feeling in your gut, or perhaps tightness in your neck or shoulders. Continue reading

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