Sep 11 2014

Another Star Fades, Joan Rivers Gone After Fighting Bulimia Her Whole Life

Joan Rivers opens the E4 Udderbelly Southbank ...

Joan Rivers opens the E4 Udderbelly Southbank festival programme. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Vol. 276     Sept. 11, 2014

We all know that as people get older that they are not going to be here forever. Joan River’s passed away on Thursday, September 4th, 2014 at the age of 81 following serious complications including a cardiac arrest during a procedure on her vocal chords.

Listening to a replay of a Terry Gross interview on stitcher Radio, I found out that Joan Rivers was an overweight child, who always wanted to be an actress. When she was nine years old she sent a picture of herself, still in the frame, to a motion picture house with a little noted saying ‘I think I would be a good actress.” She never heard back from them again, not even returning her picture.

Her weight was always something that she fought, starving herself all day only to eat Milk Duds through the night. She called herself a “closet bulimic.”  Joan said, that one of her doctors told her that by binging and purging her food, she found the only control she felt she had in her life. This, after her husband, Edgar Rosenberg, died of suicide on May 15th, 1987, three months after he, as the producer of her show, The Late Show Starring Joan Rivers and Joan were both fired from the show on the brand new FOX channel.

Being in the entertainment industry, one feels the pressure to look good all the time or they could very well lose their status and their careers. Joan said that as far as she was concerned, looking good is necessary for any woman in American society regardless of what they are doing to make a living.

I would like to point out here that because entertainers are artists, and artists by their very nature have deep emotions that are portrayed through the medium of their work. It is the emotional feelings that are brought to the audience’s awareness that makes art, art.

I wrote in my weblog of two weeks ago of Robin William’s suicide, because he too had suffered with a mental illness, bipolar in his case that made living so hard for him when he wasn’t doing his comedy. Joan stated that it didn’t matter what socio-economic background you came from, she coming from an upper middle class suburb outside New York City. Her father was a successful doctor. She noted that as long there was pain in the household there was comedy to be written.

Joan Rivers broke through many hurdles as a woman comic in her day feeling that she was competing with the male comics of her day. She never saw herself as a female competing with the men – Woody Allen, George Carlin, Dick Cavet, Richard Dryer, etc. She was just another comic who had to do better than they, in her own mind to be successful.

We the audience of these great talents need to understand where the great talent comes from when we experience these artist’s work. Comics are known to be some of the saddest people, because they are using their humor to let go of their pain. Many times as Joan did, they turn that humor on themselves with their being self-depreciating.

Let us start by understanding that these great stars that entertain us are only human and need the space to be who they are in reality. We need to respect that they too have families and all that goes with that, made more complex by the endless media attention, sometimes rather hurtful at times.

We need to be grateful for their having done whatever it takes to make it professionally to the place where we learn about their great talents. And, we need to allow them to be the human people that they are, just like the rest of us, dealing with the issues of the human condition which we may or may not be aware of depending on what the star may have shared publicly or not. For not all the stars shine brightly in every area of their lives. Let us remember that for what it is worth.

 

Sep 08 2014

Mental Disorders: The Sad Truth About Eating Disorder Treatment – Vol. 153, June 15

There is this idea in the majority of the eating disorder treatment centers that they have a better idea of how to heal eating disordered people than the eating disordered themselves. In many of these places it is thought that the main issue to be resolved is the ending of the compulsive behaviors that make up the symptoms of these illnesses be it over exercising, binge eating or purging or abusing their bodies with over use of laxatives to lose weight. When the patient fails to follow the dictates of those in whose care they are. their privileges are taken away. Though these behaviors do need to be dealt with, taking away privileges given in these programs is never a workable way to have someone aspire to do anything.

My eating disordered clients have taught me that from their perspective they feel as if they are being treated like a bad child, to be disciplined without ever being asked why they are doing what they are. Being left without any say in their own treatment plan makes it more difficult for them to trust in the treatment and in many cases not even care about doing what they have been told is necessary to get well. Once released many relapse into their full blown illness requiring more treatment to have the same unhelpful result as before.

Think about this for a moment. If you have ever had a child you realize that at the age of two they need to have choices as they are figuring out their own individuality. With the majority of those with eating disorders receiving treatment between the ages of 15 and 24 they are also in the stage of life where they are individuating themselves from their parents. With this understanding it is even more important to allow these patients to speak to their concerns while having a say in the treatment they receive if they are to heal. Dismissing that they could possibly be an asset to regaining their own health is a rather unjustified and disruptive tactic to take.

However the behavior is only one piece of the puzzle for even those who have gone through these $2,000/day + programs there is still the problem of the anorexic thinking never having been dealt with. One of the things that I have learned from my client is that one can curb a behavior only to have the mind cluttered with the obsessive thoughts of the illness still in tact still consuming the majority of their time and energy. This is where the majority of programs fail their patients miserably being focused on having their patients merely gain the weight to bring them back to a more healthy state.

My eating disordered clients for the past six years or so have taught me what works for them and why. The first thing that needs to be understood is that though the behaviors they have can create many health issues and emotional problems for them, the “cause” of the eating disorder is the place that the work needs to be centered on, not the presenting problems, unless their health is so compromised that it needs to be the priority.
As we do the work my clients will tell me that they don’t even know why they exist, feeling that they are of no use, with a life that is so hard and in many cases having caused irreversible damage to their young bodies already. They are sick of being seen as manipulative persons without feelings to be understood and dealt with. They are also sick of being told what to do many times without ever being asked what it is that they would like to see happen in their own treatment and in their own lives. This is very sad because the majority of these clients are perfectionist, so much so that one of the things that I teach my clients is that perfection doesn’t exist in the human and to decide that it does for them or anyone who they may interact in is futile. Learning what is “good enough” and accepting others for who they are while creating useful boundaries to help them to feel safe and in control of their lives is what will ultimately help them to be well.

The most important of all aspects of their healing however has little to do with their illness and everything to do with their own compelling future, the reason why they need to exist on this planet. This is where I begin the work with my clients working to help them to understand to live a life that is well lived is the best reason of all to let go of their illness. They are each here for a purpose and once they have a better understanding of this truth, the desire to be well is in place and they are more than willing to do whatever it takes to allow themselves to create the future the way they want it.

Every human being deserves to be respected and listened to. We who are the care givers need to understand this better than most. We would do well to also listen for what may be omitted as well as what is being said between the lines. When we are able to make observations in these realms, it is up to us to run our observations by the client to help them to better understand where their thinking may be getting them into some trouble. This is what we are employed to do especially f the client is not wanting to hear what we have to say. If done with care and respect for the client, amazing changes can occur even to the point where the eating disordered patient can fully let go of their illness leaving it in their past allowing them to use their time and energy for those things that used to make them feel alive and finally with a purpose for being. This is what allows for true healing to happen, a compelling future based on what it is that the patient would like to accomplish in life.

Using hypnosis and NLP techniques a new life can open up in so short a period it is mind altering. However, there is still deep work that needs to be done by the client that at times will be uncomfortable. However to get one’s life back to feel alive again, letting go of all the negativity the short term of discomfort to get to the other side is a rather small price to pay wouldn’t you say?

There is a free hypnotic induction for you with anorexia and bulimia to try out if you go to :

http://dawningvisions.com/what-are-eating-disorder-effects-and-how-to-create-a-successful-recovery-for-bulimia-and-anorexia/

And sign up for the blog postings.

There is also a book that I have written just for you with eating disorders that you may purchase at the dawning visions store:   http://dawningvisions.com/store/

*The Dawning Visions Hypnosis Store is ready for your business. If you liked this weblog, there are many essays of this type in the downloadable book “Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms for the Mind and Soul”. Go to:

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Sep 08 2014

059:The Importance In Letting People Know They Matter

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Life is to short to leave important things unsaid. Find out why you need to tell people you care.

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Sep 04 2014

Why Women Find It So Difficult to Let Go Of Those Extra Pounds

weight-loss-yoga-synergybyjasmine.comWhy Women Find It So Difficult to Let Go Of Those Extra Pounds – Vol. 275, September 4, 2014

 

In my desire to learn all that I can to help my readers and podcast listeners (Claim Your Excellent Life available on  I-tunes and Stitcher for FREE) live their very best lives possible, I come across some very useful and easily understood information that deserves to be shared. Here is a great example:

 

Craig Ballantyne who developed the online program called Turbulence Training and is the publisher of the wonderful daily electronic newsletter Early To Rise wrote a helpful article called The 5 Diet Mistakes Women Make That Men Don’t.

 

So here are the 5 mistakes and what you can do instead to reach your goal of releasing your extra weight:

 

  1. Women cut too many calories which results in their losing muscle, the very tissue that is known for its fat burning capacity.  With cardio only exercises you are doing double damage, for cardio may burn calories, but does so without building up your fat using muscles. Craig suggests that you need to eat more than 1,400 calories a day, and metntions that those diet spokeswoman never seem to be able to keep their extra weight off – perhaps this is why.
  2.  Women are addicted to what Craig calls the 1990’s Diet. This is based on the low fat, high carb diet pushed in the 1990s. He asks the fabulous question: “When was the last time you could stop eating at one granola bar?” One needs to eat real food, one ingredient foods packed with nutrients to be healthy and energized. One item foods are just that – foods that are complete in themselves. Think of those foods that you can eat alone only have one ingredient. There is nothing that you can’t pronounce in the ingredients, nothing that you have no idea of what it is, simple whole foods. Carry a snack baggie of nuts with you if you need a snack on the go.
  3.  Women skip “cheat meals” then go on “diet-destroying binges” as he calls them. Stop denying yourself what you want, and enjoy your cheat meal so that you can stick with your program – otherwise you will end up destroying all the hard work you did going on a “BINGE” which then tuns into a sugar addiction which last a very long time placing you in a worse situation then before you ever started your weight management program.
  4. Women label certain healthy foods as “EVIL” which only makes things harder for them. Whole fruit does not make you fat, “It is the 100 calorie snack pack” that fills you up, gives you energy delivering many life giving nutrients. Craig states that you will never, ever get fat eating whole fruit.
  5.  Women choose the wrong snacks:

100 calorie chocolate bars – can you eat just one of these?

Sugar laden yoghurt

Belly fat bulging granola bars leaving you to want more

 

You can do yourself a favor by eating more lean protein and eating it after your muscle building workout. Keep a food journal to keep you one track and by all means use your cheat day so that you never feel deprived. This will take away the need to binge leaving you to more easily dissolve those extra pounds away.

Sep 01 2014

Home Remedies for Heartburn and other ways to avoid your Prescription Pusher- Vol.156, July 6, 2012

Article Written by Donna M. Novi explores one of the most insidious issues of medical treatment today explored in “Wake Up Doctors”

ad·dict
[ áddikt ]
somebody dependent on a drug: somebody who is physiologically or psychologically dependent on a potentially harmful drug
enthusiast: somebody who is very interested in a particular thing and devotes a lot of time to it

This is the definition of an addict.

Somehow I think we are all addicts of a sort. We certainly are very interested in feeling well. We want to feel good. No one wants to feel ill. We try our best to stay healthy.  There are times however when a trip to the doctor is needed. There are times a prescription is needed. Just not most of the time.

Perhaps we are one of the millions of people who may suffer from acid reflux. We go to our doctor and within 5 minutes we are handed a prescription for prilosec. Or we are told we can actually purchase this over the counter, no prescription needed. We can treat ourselves.

This is a serious drug people.Yet we take it as if it were skittles.
No tests are done, the doctor just knows and we trust him because we want to feel good. How does he know?

Funny thing is we are most likely doing the opposite of what our body really needs.
We are taking a drug, and becoming dependent on it to get rid of our symptom of acid reflux that is making us feel miserable. We are very interested in feeling good and we spend our lives trying to do so. So we take the drug with the enthusiasm of feeling well again. And it seems to work because it is making us feel better-our symptoms are gone. But as soon as we stop the drug the symptoms come back. We are not healed, just dependent on a drug to feel well. Is this not an addict?

We trust our doctor. We have no reason not to, or do we?

Medication in this country has become like candy. Is there a difference between an addict trying to feel good by taking more oxycontin than prescribed and a person who takes prilosec to get rid of acid reflux?  At the surface there seems to be a difference.  Most people would agree, the person taking the oxycontin is an addict abusing a drug to feel good. I would like you to think of yourself taking that prilosec to stop your acid reflux. I suggest that you too are an addict trying to feel good and stop your symptoms by taking a medication, a drug if you will. Did your doctor do any tests? Did he or she just listen to you and then hand you a prescription? You might think he is a good doctor, but unless he can see inside you, how does he really know?

In most cases of acid reflux what is really needed is more acid.  The stomach produces less acid as a person gets older and what causes acid reflux in a lot of people is actually not enough acid in their stomachs.Taking prilosec or antacids only alleviates the symptoms and not the actual cause. Down the road, these acid inhibitors will actually cause more harm than good. But you feel good for the time being so it seems the doc is right.

It is hard to think of ourselves as addicts, but if we blindly trust our doctors and take any type of medication we are really just that. Medication is just a fancy nice word for drugs when one thinks of it. And one taking a medication for the sake of feeling good is an addict because in most cases we really don’t need that medication. Pharmaceutical companies would like you to think you do to for the sole purpose of making a profit-money.

What is the best medication free way to take care of acid reflux? Use 2 to 3 teaspoons of organic cider vinegar (Bragg is the best) with one teaspoon of maple syrup or organic honey mixed in 8 ounces of water three times a day. Eat a half an apple a half hour before bed and you will find your symptoms going away in no time.

We all know antibiotics are over prescribed to the point that there are now super germs that are resistant to the very antibiotics we rely on to kill the germs that make us sick. Over use of these drugs has caused our bodies to not respond to them any longer. The pharmaceutical companies have to develop more drugs, charging more for the newer drugs that have no generic versions.

We scrub ourselves with hand a sanitizer and try to get rid of all the germs thinking that it will make us healthier when in fact we need some of the good germs to be healthy. We are led to believe that all germs are bad when in fact they are not. It is the good germs in our stomachs that actually keep us healthy and our immune systems in tact.

There is also an overuse of laxatives. Try changing the diet. Sleeping pills are another abused drug in this country. Try self hypnosis or meditation. Aspirin and Tylenol for aches and pains, try massage. Sudafed and antihistamines try simple saline. Statin drugs for cholesterol, try leafy green veggies and almonds and changing the diet.

The older we get the more likely we are prescribed medications to feel good. Just because we are given prescriptions and take these drugs as prescribed by our “doctors” does that make it so we are not addicts?

Most drugs can be avoided if we eat properly and listen to our bodies.  There are a lot of alternative methods to taking that pill. Doctors need to think twice before taking out that prescription pad, and we need to think twice before filling the prescriptions they give us.

If you are having a difficult time figuring out how to lift all the pressures that you feel you have to contend with, a hypnotist would be most helpful to get to the core issues and then quickly help to resolve them.

 

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Sep 01 2014

058:Let these people go and improve your life

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Learn about the different types of toxic people and what to do about them.

Aug 28 2014

Why Aren’t Women Making As Much Money as Their Male Counterparts?

United States penny, obverse, 2002

United States penny, obverse, 2002 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Why Aren’t Women Making As Much Money as Their Male Counterparts? – Vol. 274, August 28, 2014

I was watching a webinar earlier this week when the host was explaining how very few people make between $100,000 a year and a million dollars a year. Though that wasn’t her main point really. Her main point was that when you look at the numbers, women seem to have a much lesser idea of what they can accomplish financially versus men. Here are the numbers as she quoted them on the webinar:

Yearly Income                          Men                             Women

$100,000/year                          25%                              12%

$500,000/year                          8%                                  4%

$1,000.000/year                       6%                                  1.8%

 

 

Look at the difference in the millionaires by gender. We go from about half in the $100,000 and $500,000 categories to less than a third of the men earning $1,000,000/year. What is up with that huge disparity in earnings on the million dollar level?

 

Some of the reasons this webinar leader came up with were:

 

Women tend to stay home and raise babies so they stop going up the ladder as quickly as their male counterparts.

 

Women are less likely to ask for raises when they earn them, not wanting to upset the situation that they are in.

 

Women don’t know how to negotiate their salaries as their male counter parts do when they accept a job, which will determine the total amount of money she will earn in that position.

 

Women tend to think that they aren’t worth as much as men do. (This in terms of their self-worth versus their male counter parts that are more willing to see their market value for the job they are doing.)

 

Male run businesses tend to pay women less for the same level of work as the statistics in the United States show. Women earn an average of 70% less than men do for comparable jobs.

 

When women own their own businesses, they tend to give away too much, finding it difficult to “sell” or just wanting to be “nice” which hurts their business’s “bottom line.”

 

What I would like to mention here is that if a woman is willing to do the work that a man is willing to do, and place her career above her family’s needs in many cases, then she ought to be paid an equal amount of money as her male counter part. We know that with more than a 50% divorce rate here in the United States, that many women are the main bread winners for their single family homes. So, the notion that men are taking care of the family is out of date. More often than not, the male is much better off after a divorce than his ex-wife because he has the better salary in most cases. Many also find ways to hide their real wealth, unwilling to pay alimony or child support if a way can be figured out not to do so.

 

I am quite aware of situations where the men are unable to have visitation with their children or where men are paying ridiculous sums to their ex-wives. However, the statistics that we have demonstrate that women are the ones who are most often much worse off after the breakup of a marriage.

 

When one takes into account that the cost of full-time child care for an infant in the United States in 2011 ranged from $4,591 in Mississippi to $20,178 in Washington, D.C., the subsidies that the federal government provides for those that are eligible are only a tiny fraction of the cost, taking up a substantial percentage of the mothers income. This is even more difficult if she happens to be one of the 63% of single mothers who falls under the poverty rate. This data comes from the report from the Luxembourg Income Study Center at the Graduate Center City University of New York called Worst Off – Single-Parent Families in the United State, A Cross-National Comparison of Single Parenthood in the US and Sixteen Other High-Income Countries. 

 

How can we turn this mess around? I believe with the use of the internet giving us world wide reach with low cost or no cost advertising available, many more women can get into building their own businesses becoming in charge of their own income production. There are many great business coaches out there who have built many businesses and can help others to do the same. That is indeed why they are in business. Look at Lisa Sasivich, the Queen of Conversion, or Ali Brown, model turned business women, or Suzanne Evens, or Lisa Nichols or my favorite Loral Langemeier who teaches one how to create a cash machine in three days and then take that money and invest it to make even more. She is like the female version of Warren Buffet purchasing whole companies, keeping on the principles if they are turning a profit while, merely overseeing the operations of the companies she owns.

 

So, if you feel that it is impossible for you to get ahead of the bills or even better that you have a desire to earn $100,000+ a year in your own business, instead of being  a pawn in some huge company – or even a smaller company that may be struggling and you haven’t any say in its operation, maybe you would like to crete some autonomy as a self-employed person who can sell world wide thanks to the beautiful thing known as the internet. Because when one really thinks about it, there are no promises in life. As Brian Tracy has been saying for decades now, “You are the CEO of your own business even if you are an employee.” He goes onto explain that It is your job to make yourself indispensable by taking on more projects and doing those little things others won’t do. In this fashion you may be able to earn a promotion in any job you may have.

 

So, think about how you can add to the number of females making over $100,000 per year with the knowledge that you already have. Get yourself a coach or a mentor to help you figure out what you need to do to be successful, because as great as the technology is with its world wide reach, it is forever changing making it mandatory for anyone working in this climate to get the support one needs to become successful in one’s own venture.

 

You really have little to lose especially if you have a job already and are merely looking to ease into creating your own business. This is always the best way to go about it so you can build up your business knowing that it will be able to support you.

 

One does need to have a stomach of ebbs and flows in the business they are building, though the excitement of trying out new things, knowing how much you can learn in the  process of running your own business both in terms of the practical application of running the business and what you are made of in your effort to be a business person are for many the greatest reward in going this route.

 

I know from my own journey into being self-employed that it was much easier when I had a spouse helping to pay the household and living bills. However, even after being divorced and finding it at times, rather challenging to pay the bills as a one person head of the house, I could never go back to being employed. I know because I bit the bullet a few months ago and kept the job I found for exactly one month, unwilling to be frozen to the bone by the night manager – a 19 year old male, or being treated like a badly behaved child by a 26 year old female manager, so direct and angry in her interactions with some of the employees, that one would swear she wanted some of us to leave. I did so on my own accord realizing that the job wasn’t wroth the effort on any level. Once you have been self-employed and realize that this is your personality, being employed is a joke. Well, at least for those of us who never really fit in with the conventional world of employment.

 

For those of you who are self-directed, find something that is meaningful (fulfilling) to you to do for your work. If you are willing, this is the best of all worlds. Every day is an adventure never knowing what it is going to bring.

 

However, if you are the sort who needs to believe that having a job means that you have a regular paycheck which equals security in your mind, then I suggest you find yourself a well enough paying job and negotiate hard before they hire you to have the greatest advantage, as the majority of your male colleagues do. At least you will have a better reason for being employed at that place of business.

 

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