Newsletter Blog Posts - Page 112 of 160 - Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Inc.

Mar 12 2015

How To Help Our Kids let Go of Stress & Find Happiness

By Suzanne in Relationships, Blog, Stress, Parenting issues, Blue, Depression, Anxiety

How To Help Our Kids let Go of Stress & Find Happiness – Vol.301, March 12, 2015

Unfortunately many of our teen and college age kids feel incredible stress in their lives. There is much depression which can lead to suicide, bullying on and off line, fear and anxiety. These negative emotions can also lead to substance abuse and addictions, and eating disorders.

The kid may not be able to articulate what they are feeling, but they can tell you that they feel unsafe, apprehensive, unsure, or afraid. They may only be able to tell you that they don’t feel like they belong anywhere or are unsure of themselves.

The root cause of these negative feelings comes from negative conditioning. When we are very young we create an idea of who we are, what we are capable of and how we interact in the world. These feelings and beliefs may hold a person back in life. These negative feelings and beliefs need to be acknowledged and released.

If your kid is feeling these feelings of sadness, fear or anxiety you need to ask them where in their body they are feeling it, because the body is trying to tell the kid that there is something that needs to be released.

The best way to help these kids release their stress is to create a foundation by first teaching them self-love. From there they can learn self-respect to keep them interacting with positive people while doing positive things with their lives. Self-awareness allows them to better understand how they are interacting in the world around them.

True happiness comes as a result of being able to be authentically you. Being able to respond to what is going on around you instead of reacting and being able to appreciate the blessing in your life.

We need to help our kids love and accept themselves for their innate talents and the caring that they demonstrate for others. We need to help them respect themselves, by role modeling respect for ourselves and respecting them in our interactions with them. Give them choices instead of making demands. Teach them to be mindful of how they speak to others by once again, role modeling how you speak to them. If you want them to get along with others, you need to get along with the people in your life first.

Lastly, let the kid in your life know, that it is normal to not be able to know what they want to do with their life at this early stage. That as they get older they will have a better idea of what is important to them and how they want to move forward. Most of all let them know, that no decision on their future plans is carved in stone. People change jobs and careers more than ever as the technology keeps changing. Some occupations are created while others are destroyed. One has to be fluid in how one goes through life today. And, if they start feeling apprehensive, sad, or fearful, it is time to reflect on what is causing it and making a course change.

Mar 09 2015

084:You Living A Full Life? 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

By Suzanne in Podcast: "Claim Your Excellent Life"

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 16:16 — 14.9MB)

Here are three questions to ask yourself to make sure you are living a full life.

Mar 05 2015

What Do I Do If I Have Been Raped? (Part 3 of 3)

By Suzanne in Bullying, Anger, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Marriage issues, Sexual Issues, Dating, Loneliness, Family Issues, Panic attacks, Rape, Anxiety, Relationships, Blog

What Do I Do If I Have Been Raped? – Vol.300, March 5, 2015

Unfortunately one in four women will be raped during their lifetimes. Male victims make up 10% of all rapes so it is a fairly common problem in our society, sadly.

Unfortunately, I too have been victimized in this way going back to when I was in high school. I knew the person who sexually assaulted me very well. Unlike many, I never blamed myself for this inappropriate behavior. As far as I was concerned it was all on him. When it started I wasn’t even 16 years old, a minor, and he was double my age, at 32, a grown man. I was about half the body weight of my perpetrator, so he had all the control.

In my case my family didn’t find out about the sexual molestation till five years after it started, when I was 20 years old. I never told my family about it, feeling that I would be blamed for the molestation, since it happened over a period of a couple of years. Unfortunately, I was indeed blamed by my parents for the situation when they found out.

Having said that, I also am well aware that my father felt he had failed me, being unable to protect me. I know he loved his kids more than anything. I have with some professional help along the way been able to forgive the perpetrator and move on with my life knowing that the perpetrator had been physically and emotionally abused by his father when he was younger. Acts of violence happen for a reason, and if we are able to have a bit of compassion, it is easier to let these things go. I tell you this to let you know that you too, can be emotionally released from these events should you allow yourself to heal.

Here are my suggestions to help in your healing process:

The first suggestion that I have for you is to stop blaming yourself for the event, because it wasn’t your fault. Any sort of sexual molestation is an act of violence where sex is used as the vehicle to scare you and take your power away with control and force. If your perpetrator told you that you asked for it, be clear that no one ever “asks” to be raped. Rape by its very definition is non-consensual sex. If you didn’t consent to it, it can’t be your fault.

If you have just recently been raped it is important that you get yourself checked out for any sexually transmitted diseases as well as any other physical harm that may have been done.

You may find yourself teary, irritable and feeling gross. Many victims do. You have to recognize that you have been traumatized and as such you will be emotional at times, especially when your mind goes back to that terrible event. The best thing that you can do is to seek out some professional assistance to help you process the rape to allow yourself to move on.

A great place to start is The National Sexual Assault Hotline which is available 24/7 at 1-800-656-HOPE and online at: https://ohl.rainn.org/online/ . There is much information on the RAINN website about how to deal with this issue as well as how to prevent rape from happening.

Mar 02 2015

083:Are You Really Spiritual?

By Suzanne in Podcast: "Claim Your Excellent Life"

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 10:05 — 9.2MB)

Are you really living your life in a spiritual way?

Feb 26 2015

What Do I Do If My Friend Tells Me S/he Has Been Raped? (Part 2 of 3)

By Suzanne in Relationships, Friendship, Blog, Sexual Issues, Rape

What Do I Do If My Friend Tells Me S/he Has Been Raped? – Vol. 299, February 26, 2015

The most important thing that you can do is to believe your friend’s story and validate whatever feelings s/he is sharing with you. This is a very traumatic experience and many times the survivor will feel very dirty, unable to feel clean even after multiple showers. Your friend may well feel guilty because s/he will feel that s/he “asked” for it in some way, because the perpetrator will have told your friend s/he did. Understand that when someone is in a heightened emotional state as is true in this case, whatever is heard will go right into the unconscious mind and will be remembered in the same way that the message was delivered, quite literally.

The truth of the matter is that rape is an act of violence where the sex is used as a vehicle for gaining power and control with force, fear or violence making the survivor fearful for his/her safety.

The feelings are even more confused if the rape was done by someone with whom s/he felt trust, with feelings of being betrayed adding to the shock of it all.

If the rape just happened it is best to get to an emergency room to have tests done for any sexually transmitted disease as well as be checked out for any other physical harm.

If this was a rape that happened years ago, and s/he is feeling badly about it, here are some useful suggestions for you to handle the situation with sensitivity without placing too much pressure on yourself:

Listen to your friend without any judgement. All too often victims of rape are not believed even though one in four women will experience it in their life times. I have found that about half the woman who have come in to see me who have been raped, have had it happen to them multiple times throughout their life times. In most of those cases it happened with multiple males in their lives. So, sadly this is a very common problem in our culture. Also, note that about 10% of all victims are men, so it can and does happen to them also. When men are raped, they may have a fear of becoming gay because they may become physically aroused during the attack. This is perfectly normal and doesn’t imply that the victim “wanted” it. Men are socially developed to believe that they are immune to being sexually attacked leaving them feeling more isolated.

Allow the survivor to be in control as the story is told. Allow the survivor to take as much time as is needed and to release any emotions. Crying is a natural response, so just be a comfort to your friend as best you can.

Most of all do your best to never betray your friend’s trust. If your friend desires to press charges, that needs to be your friend’s decision. Most times charges are not made because of the fear that was placed in the victim by the perpetrator to harm the victim and their family if they ever tell anyone. Also, telling the story in front of a courtroom is an unpleasant experience and many people would rather put the whole event behind them as best they can instead of going through a couple of years of legal action.

Lastly, if your friend is very upset and seems to need to talk about the rape, your best course of action is to have your friend seek out some professional help to process what happened.

Feb 23 2015

082:Did You Make The Right Choices For You Throughout Your Life?

By Suzanne in Podcast: "Claim Your Excellent Life"

Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 13:25 — 12.3MB)

At the end of your life, how will you look back on your choices?

Feb 19 2015

What Do I Do If My Lover Has Been Raped? (Both for men and women survivors) (Part 1 of 3)

By Suzanne in Relationships, Friendship, Blog, Marriage issues, Dating, Family Issues, Rape

What Do I Do If My Lover Has Been Raped? (Both for men and women survivors) – Vol. 298, February 19, 2015

There is a very big difference between mutually consensual sex and being raped. Rape uses sex as a vehicle for gaining power and control with force, fear, or violence, making the survivor fearful for his/her safety or life. In some situations the rape occurs when the survivor is intoxicated or unconscious and unable to give consent.

When the rape is done by someone who was trusted such as a friend or relative, your lover may feel betrayed. If the rape was done when the survivor was a virgin, the survivor might confuse being raped with having had sex. In this case it is important for the survivor to take the time necessary to feel safe in the relationship and never feel forced to go further than feels comfortable.

If the lover who was raped was man, understand that few people understand that this is even possible. However, 10% of all victims are male. Male survivors may blame themselves for the assault becoming confused by the fact that they became physically aroused during the attack, despite the assault they endured. These are normal physiological responses that in no way imply that the victim “wanted” or “liked” the assault.

Many men who have been assaulted by other men have a fear that they may have become gay. Add on top of that the fact that men are socially developed to believe that they ought to be immune to rape. These beliefs keep the male victim more isolated.

Many people find that their story has not been believed, especially children. The result is that they find it difficult to talk to anyone about the assault having developed a general lack of trust. For this reason don’t take this as your not being “trustworthy,” instead be patient and gently let the survivor know that you are available to talk if so desired. Also note that many times a victim was told by the rapist to never tell anyone, so there is much fear over speaking about the rape.

The most important thing is to allow the survivor to stay in control, allowing them to take back the control that they lost during the assault. Never betraying their trust in you. Listen to what they are saying with compassion and realize that people rarely lie about rape or sexual abuse. Allow the feelings to come out as they need to, including crying if that is part of the survivors response.

If the abuser is alive sometimes lovers want to confront them. Please refrain from doing this because it is really up to your lover to make the decision whether to place legal charges against the rapist.

If the rape was more recent your lover may pull back from you and other times may want you for comfort. It will take the time it takes for the survivor to sort through the feelings involved. Remember that you are not trained in how to handle such a trauma so suggest that your lover reach out for professional help to have an appropriate place to process what happened.