Men Need A Loving Relationship To Live a Long Happy Life Harvard’s 75 Year Study Reveals

 Ain't Love Grand - West Wittering Car Park - Sept 2008Men Need A Loving Relationship To Live a Long Happy Life Harvard’s 75 Year Study Reveals – Vol. 319, July 23,

George Valliant wrote a book called Triumphs & Experience: The Men of The Harvard Grant Study where he shares the findings of this study. Here are some of the more important aspects of what was revealed.

Given everything that people think is important in life including: money, career success, power, physical health etc. the Harvard researchers found that without loving supportive relationships, life was not very happy. The researchers did regular updates throughout the lives of the participants even as they were into their 90’s.

It is interesting to realize that people push so hard for money, material success and power, find that over time happiness associated with these aspects of life diminished greatly.

Those who listened to their own selves regarding the work that they were doing, were found to be contented in their 70’s. These men found real joy in life around doing the work they loved.

The reasons that loving relationships matter so much is that it is through our ability to share our feelings and frustrations in life with others, that we are able to get out of the “victim” state and onto figuring out new ways of dealing with challenging situations. When we have the connection with others, they can help and support us through these challenging times.

Men with warm relationships with their mother’s during their growing up years were found to have taken home more than $87,000 more than those with uncaring mothers. It  seems that these positive relationships allowed the men to be more effective on the job. The men with poor relationships with their mothers were found to have developed dementia more often.

Men who had good relationships with their fathers over their growing up years were found to have lower rates of anxiety and more contentment on vacations with increased life satisfaction at the age of 75. The warm relationships with their mothers did not seem to have this effect.

Given the sorts of people that I see in my practice, many who have felt neglected and/or abused, the importance of strong loving bonds of parents to their children is made clear.

I often ask my adult clients to think of times that were happy and were having fun. Sadly, many find this very hard to do. From these poor beginnings my clients find themselves fighting all sorts of mental and physical health issues because of the stress that is buried in their bodies, many feeling all alone in the world carrying the weight on their backs and shoulders.

The best skill set that any parent can give their child is that of being able to relate to others in a loving and supportive manner. This can be done with appropriate physical touch like sharing hugs, and through loving language of appreciation. It is also so very important to allow your child to be who they are, discover what interests they have and to find work that is aligned with those interests. By allowing your child to figure out what matters to him/her you will be guiding that child into a life that is full of great experiences of connection. It is those very important conversations where one feels heard and understood, and doing those things that we enjoy doing that will bring the most joy, contentment and happiness to life. Teach you child how to do that, and you will have done your job well.

103:Authenticity for All – Gay Marriage Upheld by the U.S. Supreme Court

Suzanne Kellner-Zinck comments on the recent Supreme court decision upholding gay marriage.

Serotonin Has Been Proven to Have Zero Effect on Depression: Now What?

Depression Serotonin Has Been Proven to Have Zero Effect on Depression: Now What? -Vol. 318, July 16, 2015 

In my book Wake Up Doctors: 10 Steps to Reclaim Your Patients Respect and Trust, (available for FREE when you opt-in on the right side of the page), I wrote about the research that Dr. Irving Kirsh and Dr. Walter G. Brown had done over the previous three decades pointing to the fact that antidepressants work about 30% of the time, the amount of time we expect a placebo to work.

Cliff Weathers of RAWSTORY wrote an article based on new research that validates the previous research of Dr. Irving Kirsh and Dr. Walter G. Brown on June 6, 2015, What if everything we know about treating depression is wrong? He sites a study of mice that were bred so they wouldn’t produce serotonin, which was done by John D. Dingell, V.A. Medical Center and Wayne State University. The mice without the serotonin were aggressive and demonstrated compulsive personality traits. However, there were no symptoms of depression noted. If serotonin were necessary for one to feel good, then these mice would have demonstrated symptoms of depression. Not too surprisingly, when given antidepressants they showed no change in behavior.

This is very important research for those of us who would rather see people treated without these medications which produce a wide variety of side-effects, and are very hard to titrate off because of the adverse reactions suffered. Again, there is a detailed case history about such a case to prove the point in the book “Wake Up Doc” which would make anyone think twice before going on these SSRIs that are being handed out as if they were candy.

Also pointed out in this article is the fact that fully two-thirds of those placed on antidepressants don’t fully recover, according to the National Institute of Health. I would suggest we look at the reason that people are feeling depressed as depression is a sign like pain is, that there is something wrong that needs to be attended to. 

If there is a loss of some sort: be it a person close to one passing away, an inability to do something that was once taken for granted like driving or dancing, or a feeling of loss of something that was important, the way to heal it is to process that loss finding a new way to perceive that loss, allowing for a more positive way to move ahead.

Be mindful of the fact that depression can come from many sources making it a bit difficult to find the cause. If it is a physical symptom that needs to be addressed no amount of talking will take care of it. Likewise, if it is an emotional loss of some sort, no physical remedy will help. So, one needs to do the tests to find the cause of depressed feelings before deciding to pop a useless and potentially harmful pill.

Donna N. wrote an article with quite a long list of causes for depression that have nothing to do with emotional distress. You can find her article here: Are You Truly Depressed? Maybe it is Something Else Entirely.

If it is an emotionally based depression, it is important to seek help before it degenerates into a potentially fatal condition, especially for men who account for 79% of the suicides in the United States. This is because the males in this country are taught from a very young age that “only sissies cry” and later that they are not to emote their sad feelings. The best thing a man can do is to feel his feelings and talk to someone if he is feeling overwhelmed or sad about something that is going on in his life.

In last weeks article which you can find here: http://dawningvisions.com/mens-depression-and-even-postpartum-depression-heres-the-symptoms-you-can-get/ you will find the symptoms of male depression listed for you along with more of the statistics involved in male suicides.

I would also add that because people are feeling much more anxious these days with the amount of information coming out, the lack of security many feel in their jobs along with other pressures, that depression of the emotional kind is certainly on an upswing.

In 2012 an estimated 16 million adults, or 6.9% of those 18 and over in the U.S. experienced at least one major depressive episode. So, if you find yourself or someone close to you who is feeling depressed, do have it checked out.

102:Authenticty and Transparency As A Way of Life

Which self do you present to the world? Your authentic self or your mask?

Men’s Depression and Even Postpartum Depression: Heres the Symptoms so You Can Get

Tired Man Sitting on BedMen’s Depression and Even Postpartum Depression: Heres the Symptoms so You Can Get Help For it -Vol. 317, July 9, 2015 

The month of June is Men’s Health month. One of the most important aspects of men’s health that we need to contend with is the fact that 78% of the suicides that occur in the U.S.are done by men. There are many reasons for this to be true and we will start with the most important. Men are told from a very young age that they are not allowed to cry. They are told to “buck up” and similar types of messages. As a result they learn from a very young age that they are not supposed to show their true feelings. What they are supposed to do is bury it and pretend like all is fine.

The main problem with this is that repressed emotions will come along and feel much worse then if allowed to be expressed and released. So, if you are a man and you are feeling sad, allow yourself to feel the feelings. Do stay away from alcohol, as many men turn to, to no longer have to deal with the inner voices of depreciative content. Alcohol being a depressive drug will depress you further.

Here are some ideas that you can use to lift your spirits:

  1. Listen to music that is uplifting
  2. Call a friend that has a great sense of humor to get you laughing
  3. Change your posture from looking down and being hunched over to standing upright and looking up a bit.
  4. Exercise will release endorphins which will also make you feel much better.
  5. Get out in the sunshine because that allow one to feel more positive as well.
  6. Do a favor for someone else, especially someone who would never expect you to do it for them, and their gratitude will bring a smile to your face and warmth to your heart.

If none of the above suggestions help and the symptoms go on for more than two weeks, help needs to be found to help deal with the problem before it spirals out of control.

Men do experience depression a bit differently than women do. Here is a list of symptoms to be on the look for:

  1. Problems with concentration or productivity
  2. Increased irritability or frustration

    3. Arguing with others

    4. Conflict or fighting with others

    5. Violent behavior 

    6. Increased work hours

    7.Abuse of drugs and or alcohol

    8.Isolation from others

    9. Fatigue

    10. Increased complaints about physical health (headaches, digestive, or pain)

    11. Impulsiveness or taking undo risks like driving the car way too fast

    12.Loss of interest in those things once enjoyed

    13. Conflict about how he thinks he should be a man versus how he is acting

    14.Thoughts of suicide.

Men too can experience postpartum depression which is now known as Paternal Postnatal depression or PPND. It tends to develop more gradually then in women over the child’s first year. The symptoms of the depression will be similar to those mentioned above. The worse thing a man can do with PPND is to pretend that it isn’t happening, because depression of any sort can degenerate to the point of suicide if not taken care of in a timely fashion. Why take a permanent solution to a temporary problem? There is help for you, you just need to seek it out.

One more thing that I would like to make very clear here. Just because someone looks to be experiencing “depression” of the mental health sort, there are many reasons a person may be feeling depressed when in fact it is a physiological problem that is behind the problem. Hormonal issues, side effects of medications, malabsorption of nutrients due to leaky gut or celiac disease, and many others. You can find out a more complete list by looking at the article that Donna N. wrote back in May of 2010 here: Are You Truly Depressed? Maybe It is Something Else Entirely.

Sometimes it can be a bit challenging to figure out the culprit behind the negative feelings and lethargic manner of being. However, it is worth figuring out to have a life that feels much more happy and fulfilled, isn’t it?

101:Self-Confidence Vs. Self_Depreciation

Do you help or hurt your own self-esteem?

Dr. Oz Under Scrutiny By Hypocrites & Thieves Says John Gray

 

Dr. Öz at ServiceNation 2008

Dr. Öz at ServiceNation 2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Dr. Oz Under Scrutiny By Hypocrites & Thieves Says John Gray – Vol. 316, July 2, 2015

As some of you may know, I not only met John Gray, but interviewed him for my podcast, Claim Your Excellent Life last year. This came about because I made sure to attend an event at Harvard University where John was presenting. Over the years there have been people who have said that John Gray never received a Ph.D. when that was placed as his designation when his book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus came out a few decades ago. So, John as a man who has sold over 50,000 copies of that book gaining the celebrity he has, can well identify with the onslaught of so-called colleagues that Dr. Oz is dealing with these days.

The point that I am making here is that one cannot assume that just because some group or self-designated person makes a claim or in this case an assault on another that there is anything behind said assault but the monetary and/or political gain to be had by those pointing their fingers.

I love John Gray’s transparent manner of being. He, as Dr. Oz, sees himself as a teacher more than anything else. They both teach in the area of better health and wellbeing and both of them have their hearts and souls in the right place. This contrary to their respective detractors. John Gray explains in his email about those who are working to bring Dr. Oz down, force Columbia University to fire him. So far, Columbia University is standing behind their man. That is all for the best of our rather sick system of what is known as “health care” versus what it really is, a cattle call of patients being punished for being ill by the powers that rule insurance companies and pharmaceutical companies as I will let John Gray explain in his own words below:

It came from 10 doctors, headed by Dr. Henry Miller, who sent a letter to Columbia’s Dean of Medicine requesting an immediate dismissal of Dr. Oz from his faculty position at Columbia. Oz is vice chair of the Department of Surgery, at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons.

These doctors are scared because Dr. Oz discusses and recommends therapies and remedies that are natural and drug-free. They think of him, and anyone like him, as a threat to their system. And we are.

These 10 doctors referred to themselves as “distinguished physicians” in their letter. However, a closer look at who they are reveals their true motives.

Dr. Miller is a specialist, not in medicine, but in “Scientific Philosophy & Public Policy” at Stanford University. He is not the kind of doctor you would want to see if you were sick. Dr. Miller founded The Advancement of Sound Science Coalition – a tobacco industry front group that ran disinformation and fake science campaigns in the 1990s for the big tobacco companies. He is interested in money – not your health.

Another member of the gang, Dr. Gilbert Ross, was the executive director of the American Council on Science and Health, another shady group that Dr. Miller started in 1978. The American Council on Science and Health actively solicits funds from corporations to fight GMO labeling on product packaging. In fact, four of the “experts” who signed the letter to Columbia University receive money from GMO companies.

Dr. Ross is also a criminal. He was “convicted of racketeering, mail fraud and conspiracy” for a Medicaid scheme in 2005. He lost his medical license, spent almost 4 years in jail and had to pay $612,855 in restitution. GMOs are his new scam.

The doctors who signed the letter don’t care about your personal health. Their history proves it. They want to destroy Dr. Oz because he legitimately threatens their finances.

Fortunately, Columbia University ignored their request and continues to support Dr. Oz. I do too.

Our medical system focuses on money and drugs instead of on patients. Besides the side effects, prescription drugs are the third leading cause of death in the United States. It makes sense for everyone to reach for a natural solution first and take care of their smaller health problems before they become big health problems.

This is why I recommend supplements for positive mood, peace of mind, better sleep, energy and libido which all support good relationships and a great healthy life.

However, for any of the supplements I recommend to work, the body requires minerals to activate the body’s natural enzymes. Unfortunately our foods don’t hold enough minerals due to modern farming practices and environmental toxins.“

I have written a lot about the negative results of our medical and mental health systems in my blogs and spoken of them in my Podcasts Claim Your Excellent Life. The most in depth study I have done on the subject is in my FREE book found right here on the website for the price of an opt-in is Wake Up Doctors: 10 Steps to the Reclaim Your Patients Respect and Trust, based on a case study of one of my own clients who was dealt a horrible hand by both the medical and mental health systems.

Because those of us who are in healthcare realize that the word “care” is in the term “healthcare” many of us found ourselves called to do this work. John Gray did so because his brother was suffering from Bipolar and when his meditation from his days as a Monk. When that didn’t help his brother, he went to school to get his PH.D. in psychology. Unfortunately his brother passed away from a suicide, but that is the “WHY?” behind John Gray’s decision to go into psychology in the first place.

For myself, I suffered with Bipolar 2 and many physical health ailments from my 20’s into my 40’s and was lucky enough to find a way to rid myself of them. Hypnosis became my way, because like John Gray, I was looking for a way not to help myself, rather to help my clients that were being overly sedated by a system that hands out heavy health damaging psychotropic medication as if it were candy.  Then my clients were condemned for falling asleep at their programs. I myself though helped with the mental health end of things from the long term lithium treatment I was given, found myself having my kidneys slow down and was luckily taken off of it by my astute Psychiatrist at that time. It was through the desire to find a better way to help my clients heal knowing that they had all the answers in their own mind, their unconscious mind, that I found my way into the work that I currently do in hypnotism.

So, this is the larger message: You do know what you need and what you want for your life and it is about time you made a decision to do what works for your highest good. It is time that you take a stand against the medical industrial complex with its ridiculous goal of money mongering while causing great harm to its constituents with poorly researched “medicine” while allowing the liars and cheats to poison us while they manage to also take our minds away with these mind altering drugs. Do speak with your Congressmen and Senators about your concern about our very sick health care system and demand that you get a reasonable amount of time with your health care providers to be able to explain your situation to your medical provider. Make it clear that you are unwilling to pop a pill to take care of things that can easily be taken care of naturally through foods, and alternative care which will do less harm if any, while allowing you to be happy and productive. Let us together bring the “care” back into the idea of “healthcare” for everyone’s good.

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