Today I want to speak to the idea that being a loving person in a primary relationship as well as any type of relationship requires a sense of humility and a recognition of the importance of being honorable.
All too often we humans create a sense of who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’ instead of realizing that there are infinite ways to understand a circumstance. We have this great need to jump to conclusions that are anything but aligned with reality because our minds are wonderful at creating stories to back up our feelings. Yet, in a truly loving relationship, there is no need to create a story. Instead, there is a desire to understand through honest communication what is going on because there has been a foundation of trust upon which to build.
I know that in my truly loving relationships the disagreements, the need to prove the other wrong was never there. Questions were asked and discussions were had, pure and simple. When relationships started to lose the loving quality, stories were created and resentment ensued. In these cases, I pulled myself out of these relationships not desiring to be a ’cause’ of someone else’s distress – because, in many of these cases, it had less to do with who I am and more of who the other person was being for whatever their reasons. Without having control over the other person, the healthiest thing to do was to limit the time with them.
Going back to my most loving of relationships, and I have many of them thank, God – I show up for these folks as they show up for me. It is just an understanding that we are there for one another. We may not agree on everything in life, but what we do agree on is that we truly care and support one another in those ways that we can as we can without the need to be asked in many cases. We just are there for one another because we can.
It is through these loving relationships that we have in our lives that the difficulties can be made much easier. It is through the difficulties of others that we can rise to the occasion to bring the love and care deepening the trust and love inside that relationship. Because it is only when we are able to be there for others in this sort of manner that we can truly understand what real ‘love’ is all about. It isn’t forcing another to be perfect according to your ideals, and it isn’t about having to check everything that you do and say. It is about being loved and accepted by each other for exactly who you are realizing that till you are perfect, there is no need to expect that from anyone else – that is the humility.
Being honorable has everything to do with being your word. So often these days people will promise things to forget about the promise or find a way to wiggle out of it. Best to demonstrate that you can be on time doing those things you promised to do. Or, do not make the promise in the first place, which is the more honorable thing to do if you are not in a place where you can or want to follow through.
It is about knowing that we all have our difficulties in life and to be present to the degree that we can be to be loving and supportive of our loved ones – because maybe it was this person who helped you through your difficult time, maybe without even being asked, just jumping in to make sure you were okay. Because at least to my mind that is what a loving relationship is – being present, being caring, being humble, and being interested. It does not take much to demonstrate these attributes these days, not at all. Just letting the person you claim to care so much about a message, a text, a phone call, a video call, or even a letter or a card to let them know that you were thinking of them and that you care and are interested.
Learning: All truly loving relationships are built on a foundation of humility and being honorable. Be your word and realize there are many ways in which to understand a given circumstance. More often than not we do not have all the information till we ask for it. And, follow through on what you said you would do, timely.
***If you are in a relationship where you would love to learn better communication skills or are a person who has yet to find the correct person for yourself I am running a 3-Day Retreat at the lovely Villa Serena Holistic Hotel & Retreat Center Oct. 2-4, 2021 right on the water of the Dominican Repbulic. It is the perfect place for both deep transformative work and relaxation. You may get more information here:
https://dawningvisions.com/upcoming-events/
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.