Kate Spade & Anthony Bourdain: What’s Going On Here? Vol. 458, July 12, 2018
I am on Quora a lot. It is a forum for people to ask questions and others to give answers, from all around the world. There are so many questions on there about what makes an individual happy. Many times the questioner comes from the perspective of whether the rich are happier than others. Other times there is a question of why one can’t be happy, given whatever the issues are that the questioner is dealing with, many times feeling overwhelmed, ‘down’ or anxiety ridden.
I answer these questions from the perspective of watching the richest people in our society get involved in drugs, alcohol addiction or perhaps sex addiction. I raise the issue that if money made one happy, we wouldn’t see people like Kate Spade who was worth billions of dollars kill herself.
Why did she do it? I don’t know, as I didn’t even know who she was before this news was told to me, not being at all interested in designer anything.
Anthony Bourdain, a television celebrity chef, also committed suicide that same week. Apparently, he was reported in CNN online to have had a heroin habit in the past. Again, I don’t really know much about this gentleman since I don’t watch television.
What I do know is that there are many more people who are finding it easier to commit suicide than to deal with the emotional pain that they are feeling. It’s a terrible thing to have these stories all over the media, as it can indeed put ideas into other peoples’ heads that it is quite fine to take one’s life. This is especially true of our youth, many who don’t yet have fully developed pre-frontal cortex’s to stop impulsive decisions.
Though there was a time when I believed in the medical practice of psychopharmacological medication, I have since changed my view. We know from research on the placebo effect that these mind-altering, body damaging drugs only work about 30% of the time. This, thanks to the 40 years of research that Dr. Irving Kirsch of Harvard University and Dr. Walter Brown of Brown University have done.
Instead of medicating our kids, we need to teach them how to deal with their emotions. We need to let them know that it is normal to feel sad, to feel shame when they do things that harm others, to feel regret at times, as well as to feel guilty. They need to know that there are ways to deal with these emotions, in allowing them to feel them, and then do what needs to be done to move past them. As humans, we all have feelings and each is there to teach us something very important. Medicating these feelings, shuts the feelings down so that they cannot be accessed to learn from.
I do understand that there are times when people need medications, however, they need to be given to a very tiny percentage people, instead of as they are now handed out like candy.
Hell, there is a reason why there is a “black box” on antidepressants that warn of teens, in particular, having suicidal or homicidal thoughts as a side-effect of these drugs.
I tend to think that many of the suicides and mass killings are a direct result of the side-effects of these medications on the younger people who take them. It is a travesty that is forced on us by ‘big pharma’ to make money. Lots of money!
Dr. Kelly Brogan is a holistic psychiatrist who does her best to help the majority of her patients safely come off these medications. She too feels that instead of masking the normal feelings we humans experience, we are best to learn from them.
So, what can we do if we see that someone close to us is demonstrating depressive symptoms?
- Validate their feelings
- Help them to get involved in working with other people, helping the poor, working with kids or animals, anything to get them out of their head and into the world, so long as it is constructive.
- Get their microbiome checked out, because, with all the junk food these kids are eating, they may have leaky gut, not allowing for the normal metabolism of the amino acids they are getting from proteins they are eating. These amino acids are the building blocks of the neurotransmitters that allow for feelings of wellbeing and being able to get appropriate sleep at night.
- A healthy diet of “one item” foods combined to make dishes. If you don’t know what it is, and can’t pronounce the ingredients, best to not eat it.
- Get the Vitamins and minerals tested, especially Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Magnesium, Manganese, calcium, and B12. Make sure the individual is getting enough Omega 3s in their diet as well.
- Exercise – or as I like to term it “activity” preferably those that the individual finds fun to do to raise the heart level and engage the mind. Dance, team sports, biking, hiking, swimming, surfing – it doesn’t matter what it is, though getting outside in nature and in the sun is a better bet than being stuck inside, especially while the good weather is here in the northern climates.
- Relationships are so very important for human beings to be healthy and well adjusted. If there is an issue in one or more of the relationships that the individual is dealing with, best to get some outside help to lighten the uncomfortable feelings.
- Work environments are also very important, and this is one area of life that many don’t feel they have any control over. Well, if a job is so hard on a person that they are that unhappy, a change is mandatory.
If you have a kid who is sullen and demonstrating that they are having a hard time, ask what is going on, in a very soft and sensitive manner. Listen carefully to what your kid is saying and then do what you need to, to help them out. Remember, you are the adult, and therefore it is up to you to give the loving support that you can.
Not all kids are open to the help, however, it is important that you let them know that you are there, that you care and are interested in helping them feel happy with their lives once again.
The last thing you want to do is demand your kid get help because they will get very upset and “dig in their heels.” What you want to do is to get them to a place where they are willing to work with someone to help them deal with their feelings and move beyond the negative feelings. If they say they don’t like a certain professional, try another. Rapport is very important in the healing process.
Our kids deserve our loving attention, and nothing less. Be ‘present’ and show that you care and are interested. It will make for a much happier and healthier kid.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.