Vol. 517, October 3, 2019 – How Do I Stop Avoiding Things That are Difficult For Me?
The best way to change this is to realize that you are avoiding difficult things to not have to deal with what we in the psych world would call ‘fear of failure most likely.
I can only tell you that it is only through walking through the fear of seemingly difficult things that we can find that most of these difficult things were not at all difficult. I will give you an example from my yesterday.
I am off to Isreal for a year to do a master’s degree over there. I had to go to the Israeli consulate to apply for my student visa. I was very concerned that my paperwork would be illegible, or that they would find some reason to deny it forcing me to redo what I had done because I hate filling out forms. In fact, I always print off two of them knowing that I need that many to get it right.
It so happened that I got to the consulate very early and was out of there 15 minutes before my appointment was supposed to happen. The paperwork was fine – so I built up this whole problem in my own mind. Now, to be honest there were many others who did not have whatever they needed for passports or visas and had to return – however, I was not among them because I took the time in advance to have everything done exactly as I was requested including leaving my cell phones at home. It ended up that it didn’t matter because almost everyone had their cell phones, but I do believe that because I followed the directives on the Israeli consulate page, things went a lot smoother for me than the majority of people who just want to do what they want to do irrespective of what they are asked to do.
Another example was writing the literature review for my master’s thesis in July. I had no idea how to go about doing this even though I looked up every resource the university had to offer. It took me quite a few tries and a few times with tutors at the school to get the thing written. For all that effort I was awarded a 7 out of 7 points. Doing the thesis in total was also a new situation and I wasn’t sure how the professor was going to grade it, but again it was 35 out of 35 points – because I did what I had to do to the best of my abilities. That accomplishment was most fulfilling to me given all the hours of work that went into it, including figuring out what sections had to be included in the final paper.
I tell you these stories so that you can understand that it is only through overcoming the difficult things that we learn that we can pretty much handle anything that life hands us – because one learns how to think critically and inventively to get things done.
So, for you, the outcome is to feel much better about yourself by learning that you can indeed figure out how to do the difficult things in life along the way.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.