There is a reason why the conventional conscious talk therapy doesn’t work as well as one would want it to, which is explained very well by Dr. Bruce Lipton, cellular biologist and author of the book Biology of Belief.
Dr. Lipton explains that first one has to understand that the mind controls the body through epigenetics, the science behind the readout of the DNA in response to our beliefs (thoughts whether positive or negative). Chemicals are released to create whatever we believe.
Lipton explains that we all have two minds:
The Conscious Mind formed after age 7, is our “thinking” mind, the mind that is creative. It reasons, judges, and analyzes, all the information that comes in. It is very handy for solving problems. It is time-bound to understand the past, present, and future. It is the small part of the mind, located in the most recently formed prefrontal cortex of our brain, which is the smallest part of your mind. This is where your identity is understood. The conscious mind learns through repetition like when we learned our multiplication tables and the Table of Elements for chemistry class.
The Subconscious Mind is what runs us from age zero to 7. It is below our consciousness and is a million times more powerful than the conscious mind. It is the “original mind,” huge in comparison to the conscious mind. It only lives in the “present moment,” and acts like a tape player, just recording whatever comes in as it comes in. It is also responsible for running our biology 95% of the time,
The programs that we downloaded by the people in our lives: parents, teachers, siblings, etc. were downloaded to the subconscious mind. We didn’t see it happening because it was invisible unconscious behavior. This is what is limiting us while taking away our powers. The only way the subconscious learns is through copying what we see.
So you go to a conscious talk therapist to review your life – “woe is me” is in the conscious mind as you repeatedly tell your “talk therapist” your problems. You come to understand why your life is screwed up. Then you ask, after going for treatment, sometimes for decades thinking, “Is my life any less screwed up?” The conscious mind thinks it learned, but it didn’t learn anything.
To change your life you have to go into the subconscious mind where you have to find a tape player hit “play” and then suggest it changes the program which can’t be done because the unconscious mind learns from emotion and behavior. What you have to do is go into the subconscious mind and download new programming while your brain is in the alpha and theta waves, which is the hypnotic trance state. It is in this hypnotic state where you can record something more helpful to you over the original tapes you were playing that were causing you distress.
Now, the most important job that your subconscious mind has is to protect your conscious mind from anything it can’t handle, which is why the repression of memories occurs. The only way that I know to take care of that problem is to get the unconscious mind out of the way by going into the superconscious mind – that part of your mind that is connected to the spiritual – to whatever you consider the divinity in your life.
Now, because kids from 0-24 years or so haven’t developed their prefrontal cortex completely they are naturally operating out of their subconscious mind. That is why kids will do things impulsively, without thinking or understanding the long-term consequences of their behavior. That consciousness that is necessary to have good judgment hasn’t developed fully yet. Kids live in the moment and are unconcerned about the future ramifications of their behavior because they don’t even think of it. Given their immature level of mental development, kids are unable to fully reason or rationalize information resulting in interpreting the statements of others concretely. Of course, as kids mature they learn over time how to reason rationalize and judge better. However, those with addictions and eating disorders, in particular, are stuck in an emotional state that is equivalent to the chronological age they were when the behavior became out of control. This is a good thing in that we can use their natural ability of being in the hypnotic trance state to easily and quickly help them unlearn their dysfunctional and self-harming behaviors and reprogram the subconscious mind to respond to the same stimulation in a healthier manner allowing them to more easily achieve their goals of happiness and success.
Understand that when life doesn’t work and we don’t get the health, relationships, or income we want we:
- have a tendency to blame the outside world because I have all these wonderful intentions.
- while having positive intentions using the conscious mind, our unconscious mind was running the show with thoughts and behaviors that sabotage us – “victim mentality” stops growth by giving up on self.
I had a client who was in foster homes from the time of his mother’s death when he was 6 months old till the time he was placed in his last placement at the age of 5 ½. This young man came in to see me at the age of 16, after being in a special program for kids who were acting sexually inappropriately, his adoptive parents were fearful of his “playing” with his two younger siblings. He was abused in every way possible, learning that being loving was teasing others with tickling in inappropriate places. He was placed in all sorts of restraints, and placed on many different psychotropic medications which were taking the life out of him. His psychologist in the program told his parents that he would be dead or in jail by the time he was 18, so you can imagine how depressed he was when he came in to see me. During his sessions with me, he learned that his mother passed away when he thought she had abandoned him, the core of his angry acting out. He was a teen when he saw me and yet, all the staff in his program made his normal sexual curiosity into something that was immoral and would lead him to jail if he didn’t control himself. I want you to understand how hopeless he was with that first meeting. It took all of 15 hours in 3 long sessions to totally turn his life around because he was able to understand that he never did anything wrong, he just didn’t have guardians to nurture him appropriately. He learned these behaviors before he was old enough to understand why they were wrong without anyone to explain any of this to him, till he came in to see me. He left his full name at the bottom of the last testimonial of his progress at the age of 24. He explained to me that he needed to do this because he wanted to let anyone who really was ready to let go of the past no matter how horrible it may have been that this is possible through this work as he has done. I hadn’t seen him in the intervening 8 years though his parents had kept me up to date through the years. His name is Antonio Martin and his wish is for you to know that if you are a kid, or if you are anyone, no matter how bad your problem may seem to be, you can, if you are willing to do the work, leave it in the past and create a wonderfully happy and fulfilling life for yourself as he has done.
I had another client age 10 who was so very anxious that she would throw herself against walls when she couldn’t do those things that she thought should be easy for her. Her mother was so frustrated and hurt from her daughter’s emotional pain that a year of conscious therapy couldn’t resolve it. I saw her for two appointments and it became clear that somewhere in her world she got the idea that she needed to be perfect. Once we used her vast imagination to banish perfection and allow her to be happy and love herself for her funny, creative, athletically gifted, and loving self, her anxiety went away.
I had an 18-year-old who wasn’t interested in playing her beloved ice hockey in the playoffs. Her mother thought there was an issue with the coach so we started working on that problem. As we did so, her mother who was in on the session, wrote a note to me letting me know that she had lost 4 of her close friends in the previous 3 years. She wanted to know if I could help her better deal with those losses. We spent about 15 minutes on each loss. When she came back to see me for her follow-up appointment she was happy knowing that the spirit of her ice hockey team member who had passed away in a terrible drunk driving accident was with her every time she played.
I had a 14-year-old who had written not one but two suicide notes that a friend of his had and given to their track coach. The coach told his father about the letters. His father brought him to the hospital for psychological evaluation. He laughed at what he felt was the stupidity of the nurse who was evaluating him. He came home to find me there with his sister, he being the son of a very close friend of mine. I took him on a car ride to find out what was going on with him. There were a bunch of things going on with his disabled mother on top of his doing very poorly in school even though he was doing his best. He couldn’t understand why he was so “dumb.” The truth of the matter was that he felt overwhelmed with the responsibility of having to care for his mother when she would fall to the floor cracking her head open, as his father was at his second job. He just was tired of being the “man” in the house during his father’s long absences. We cleared this all out for him and he managed to not only finish high school but is currently in a Masters’s program learning about investment as he has both a full-time job and a part-time job.
I met a 19-year-old Nairobi college student at an internet marketing training I attended a few years ago. I simply asked him if he would like to learn self-hypnosis. He thought I was a bit crazy, perhaps a “witch doctor.” I told him to think about it and get back to me the next morning, telling him that I thought that learning how to use his mind in this fashion would help him out. He did decide to have me teach him and as we were doing it, he told me that there were “demons” inside him that had been there since he was 4 years old making it very hard for him to concentrate in class and do his work. I found out from his dad that he was indeed flunking out of engineering school in Canada. I went to Nairobi during the summer and worked with his parents and him to help him have the support that he needed to succeed. It was a hard go for a while. However, 3 years later he is doing very well in school and is going to be going on to a master’s program in business on the completion of his undergraduate work. He wants to build his own business back home.
I had an 18-year-old come in to see me a couple of years ago who had tainted marijuana, making him so paranoid he drove himself to the emergency room. He had a friend tell him that he would be better off seeing a hypnotist than going the conventional therapist route. Well, he didn’t want to go on anti-anxiety medication so he called me up and we worked together. It took about a month of sessions, and he is doing great today, no longer anxious and no longer depressed feeling sad that his father had a stroke and had to go on disability while in his mid-40s. He is doing well now living in his own place and selling real estate in Boston. He is due to go to back to college this fall to complete his Bachelor’s degree in business.
I have also worked with young women in their early to late 20’s with eating disorders and they are all doing very well no longer thinking at all about those old self-destructive behaviors. It was they who each told me to write a book on the subject to teach conventional therapists how to better help young women like them. Because of them, I wrote the book Do I Have An Eating Disorder? Now What? So, for any of you who may have this problem, it can be perfectly healed once you deal with the self-loathing, and rage and get over your need to be perfect for these are the emotions that lead you to your eating disorder.
I had a 13-year-old male who was constantly plucking his eyelashes which made his father quite crazy having to look at the weird form of his eyelashes. We found out that he had some latent anger toward a younger sibling even years previously for breaking a snow globe of his. It took two sessions to get him to not only stop that compulsive behavior but to end his fear of germs, reaching for the doorknob of my place as he was saying “good-bye” after his session. His father told me that he couldn’t believe he touched the doorknob with his bare hands. I told his father to ignore it since it is normal behavior that we want him to continue with. These parents sent their daughter to me about a year later who was upset over a breakup with a boyfriend, and she is doing well after one session. And, I found out that her brother was free of all the compulsive behaviors that he had when he came to see me.
So, you can see, that it really doesn’t matter what the issue is, so long as the individual has an I.Q. Over 70 so they can focus on what we are doing and so long as there isn’t a history of psychotic breaks, this age group does amazingly well with hypnotic treatment.
I will however let you know that there were two kids that didn’t do very well. Both of them had severe learning disabilities, one with Aspergher’s. Not a bad track record for 12 years of practice though. The main thing is that your youth has to want the help and be willing to go forward with the treatment. I am unable to work with anyone who is unwilling to do the work.
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