How Do You Improve Your Life While Feeling Overwhelmed or Depressed? Vol. 669, April 11, 2024

I receive many requests from people on Quora regarding how to improve their lives be it feeling depressed, overwhelmed, or feeling unmotivated to do those things that they need to do. One of the most important aspects of our lives is that of our environments including where we live and where we work.

If we are surrounded by people who are angry, sad, or manipulative it makes our lives much more difficult than they need be. This is because it is easier to be dragged down by others than to lift them. If you are in unhappy relationships it is up to you to figure out if the relationship can be worked on and improved or if it is toxic and needs to be discontinued. This is easy to figure out because you will feel heavier while experiencing a negative emotion as a result of the time you are spending with them.

I have my clients make a list of the people in their lives. They fall into a few categories:

1. Family: these are the people that you know have your back regardless and whom you know you will have their back. These are not necessarily your family because not all families are created in this unconditionally loving manner. For many, it is their family is their best friends. These are the people with whom you feel unconditional love and they feel unconditional love for you.
2. Friends: These are people with whom you enjoy being with shared interests and values. You will do your best to be there for them and they are most often able to be counted on to help you when you need it.
3. Acquaintances: These are people that you know through a shared activity/hobby or people with whom you work. You get along with them but on a superficial level.
4. Leaches: These are the people who glom onto you sucking your energy and time with their problems. Sometimes these people let you know that unless you behave in a certain manner you will “trigger” them. These are people that you are best to let go of.

One of the things that I realized working in corporate America and law firms decades ago was the lack of respect I received from my bosses and the nepotism that permeated these places. I chose to leave these environments figuring out a way for me to be self-employed to never have to deal with these negative attitudes again gaining authority over my life. It has not been the easiest route, but it has helped my emotional and physical health never having to deal with these problems again. I also found a way to work from home so the stress of commuting was gone.

I invite you to figure out what is not working in the psychodynamics between yourself and those in your life and take the necessary steps to correct it.

I can tell you that leaving the US in October of 2019 has been a Godsend, traveling the world and meeting happy and loving people even when I found myself in compromised situations such as spraining my ankle in San Jose, Mexico. I got better care from the workers in the $10/night hotel I was staying at, at the time than some of the hospital visits I had in the US.

I can also tell you that it does my heart good to be living in a Villa here in Golem, Albania the Ionian Sea a 3-minute walk with the nicest family owning it. They bring me lots of hugs and smiles and great food letting me know that they love and care for me every time we interact. Understand that we do not speak each other’s language so most of it is done through Google Translate which can come up with some funny interpretations so we have to try again using different words.

Think creatively based on your values and interests to create a life that works best for you leaving behind those who cannot interact with you in a loving and caring manner. There is a whole world out there to be explored with fabulous people if you would only get out there and learn that for yourself.