Vol. 545, April 16. 2020 – Have therapists Ever Wanted to Slap Sense Into A Client?
This question was asked by a Quoran and one I was happy to answer because of the nature of how therapy is viewed by many with licenses. We who work with others are human beings and ALL of us have our times when we get to a point of real frustration in some of the sessions that we are involved in. Here is the answer that I wrote to the Quoran:
Thanks for the A2A. I am going to answer this from the perspective of figuratively slapping sense into a client (vs. literally doing so).
If one has ever worked with addicts one realizes that this is an ongoing feeling because the addict has learned many ways to manipulate themselves first and then to manipulate others, ALWAYS blaming others for their own behavior. So, yes that would be one category of clients that I did hold very strongly accountable for their manipulations and ‘victim’ mentalities. This particular work is not for the faint of heart at all.
I would also say that working with people who have personality disorders would be another category of client that presents this same feeling toward because they too feel that they are the ones being harmed, when in fact it is their own defense mechanisms that create most of the drama and trauma they have in their lives. The problem is that there is little to nothing that one can do to truly help these folks overcome it, so it’s best to not really get involved unless you have the knowledge necessary for working with them and are up for the challenge.
Parents who cannot relate to the emotional pain and suffering their kid is dealing with, who really wanted their kids to represent something that they are not – like the best student, best athlete, the best artist, best professional when they are not functioning well at all at school due to autism or some other mental health issue- to give the parent a sense of self through their kid. This dynamic nauseates me and I have had a few of them over the years. The kids were great – my heart went out to them. But, the parents – one just better understands why our world at large is as dysfunctional as it is through living through these sad and frustrating interactions between parents and their own children.
Interestingly enough, I have had clients who were ex-cons (and one who was placed in prison after I helped him get off cocaine for the previous breaking and entering in another state before our work together) sex addicts (these are NOT people who molest others, these are people who gain no emotional attachment to those with whom they have sexual relations, thus the need to continue to find partners). These particular clients I really enjoyed working with – very smart and very willing to heal themselves contrary to what most may believe.
I work very hard to hire clients that I believe have hearts underneath all the bravado and manipulations because we need to understand that these behaviors developed as defense mechanisms to protect them. So, to ‘despise’ them for their behaviors would be to miss the point as to why they would be needing the help they have requested. That being said, very few clients are really up to the type of intense and strict accountability that goes with the work that I do as a hypnotist and NLP practitioner – and that is important to realize as well. We each have our own type of clients that we work best with and that is the way it is supposed to be. Let others work with clients who are more closely aligned with the way they work.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.