Photo by Eric Van Buskirk 
I Feel That I May be a person with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Many psychologists have told me that I am not, so why am I so scared of hurting others? – Vol. 556, July 9, 2020
This was a question asked by a person on Quora and this is how I answered it:
I find it interesting that many psychiatrists and therapists told you that you didn’t have BPD and that you have a hard time believing them.
There are many overlapping symptoms that BPD people have with others – most especially those with bipolar with mood dysregulation and impulsive behavior. but there are some differences between the two that make them different.
People with BPD have instant changes in mood. They go from being very happy one second and the very next they will be exploding in rage. Something tripped them over the edge. In the psychiatric world, it is known as being ‘labile.’ (I think that is the spelling). Where a bipolar person experiencing rapid moods would shift every 3 weeks instead of 6 months or less between their high mood state and their depressed mood state (depending on if they were more likely to have hypomania (below mania) or mania where psychotic symptoms appear).
BPDs tend to be very good at triangulation. They will glom onto a person and overwhelm them with their presence. If that same person pisses them off, even one time, they will tell them that they want nothing more to do with them and then go to another person and tell them how great they are while putting down the previous person. It’s called splitting and BPDs are notorious for it.
Rage is another issue that is common in BPDs and it can come out at any time with the simplest of triggers, many times unknown to those who are the bystanders when it occurs.
Lastly, fear of abandonment is their greatest fear.
There are other symptoms, but these are the ones that are very much aligned with BPD vs other similar diagnoses in the DSM.
I guess my question for you to ask yourself is where your fear of hurting someone is coming from because there are an infinite amount of reasons why someone may have developed that fear most not having a thing to do with BPD.
It may come from things that were integrated into your unconscious mind when you were a little kid that is not known to you consciously – obviously being a hypnotist this is an area of my expertise. Or, it could be that you hurt someone in the past and are fearful of repeating it again… just a few ideas that come to mind.
I wouldn’t be so interested in a DSM label, but I would think it a good idea to figure out where the fear is coming from.
You can look at the material on my business website. There is a ton of it there – over 700 pages since we upload weblogs and podcasts every week – all for the landing on the page – and check out the information on there. It really is an encyclopedia of information where we cover many different subjects both to do with the pathology of mental illness, hypnosis, and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP)and even physical health issues. You can look up the hypnosis tab on the top menu bar and there is a drop-down of the various pages that explain it and NLP. If you go to a blog post and go down to the very bottom of the right side menu there is a search box and you can put any search term in there that you would like information on. All the blog posts, podcasts, and testimonials that are relevant will show up for you. You can access the website at: Home
Just be sure to not get too lost on there.
Thanks for the question, because many people get very confused as various diagnoses mean (and of course what they don’t mean as well).
Photo by Eric Van Buskirk
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.