Thank you for this question because few would have the guts to ask it.
I am going to be real honest with you and anyone who reads this answer because you deserve an honest answer to a honest question.
It is true that most people who come to work in mental health do so because they have come through their own difficulties, however, that is NOT what matters here in the least. What matters is whether or not they got the help they need to OVERCOME their deep emotional wounds.
One of the largest issues I have with these folks who believe that just because they have dealt with the trauma that makes them great candidates for doing this work. Quite honestly, I don’t know anyone above the age of 18 who hasn’t had some emotional issues in life to deal with because life is full of them be it dealing with parents who are too permissive and not giving guidance especially when it comes to figuring out what one can be doing with one’s life, because the parents were more interested in whatever they themselves were doing and gave little true emotional or practical guidance. Or, parents who were overly involved in their kid’s life to the point where the kid couldn’t do anything on their own because some unknown harm would occur if the parent ever lost sight of their kid – a huge problem in parenting after the kids of the 70s were brought up. These parents are known as ‘helicopter parents’ because their kids were never allowed to go out and play on their own constantly involved in adult-supervised activities be it sports, or any other type of activity.
Parenting is not an easy thing to do, however, kids do need to have age-appropriate autonomy, and the ability to make misjudgments and learn from them over time.
So, the point here is that whatever the issues are that a kid may interpret as trauma, including true trauma where they were abused in some way be it physical, emotional, or sexual, not until that person has healed whatever that issue was, because each person is going to have his or her own interpretation of what the depth of that ‘damage’ was, it is INAPPROPRIATE to get involved in doing any type of therapy for anyone else. The reason is that the patients that pay to use your services need you to be stronger than they are and NEVER be ‘triggered’ by similar situations in their lives as you had in yours. This includes women who came out of abusive relationships who love to blame males in their patient’s lives for all their patient’s problems when the fact is that if they never hear the other side they can not know as has occurred in many of my clients’ cases, that it was the woman who was the aggressor, maybe because of alcoholism or drug abuse issues – and NOT her partner who caused any of her problems – she had them before they got together. This is just one very common misguided notion of hurt women wanting to help another woman who is incapable of listening to a male perspective which by the way is keeping the woman she is supposedly helping a ‘victim’ instead of helping the woman overcome her serious issues.
I was in a business development group for all types of personal development professionals and I left it because the people who were there to receive business coaching needed therapy to deal with their own issues – too little time was spent on building businesses and too much time was spent on helping potential mental health professionals work through their own issues with being ‘triggered’ by their clients/patients or thoughts about what would happen if they were ‘triggered’ by those who were to employ them. If anyone is worried about being triggered by a patient or client they need to heal all those issues around those triggers FIRST.
So, get your healing done first and when you are no longer ‘triggered’ or even concerned by those issues of your past history, you are capable of helping others in a very strong and productive way.
Wounded healers wound others which is why so many people on Quora are disgusted by the therapist that they have employed. I know because I get their questions as to why it is so hard to find a capable and helpful therapist every day.
Healed Healers are the best people to help others learn to grow up and overcome their ‘triggers’ by helping them heal. Many people don’t want to heal – they want to complain endlessly about their wounds. When they get help from me we do the clearing work necessary and then they need to deal with how to shift their energy from ‘victim’ to ‘victor’ which means taking responsibility for their lives and trust me, many are not up to doing that – because it is much easier to blame mommy and daddy or maybe their ex-partners for all their problems – and that will NEVER heal them.
We need to understand that hurt people hurt others and as such give them the same understanding that we want for ourselves. It is just that they created defense mechanisms in a different manner – period because people who abuse were indeed abused themselves. Not a thought many want to deal with until they are forced to see that reality and then forgiveness and healing take place.
Because it is with that understanding and forgiveness we release ourselves from needing to be ‘right’ the other ‘wrong’ and let go of the anger that is killing that person who is carrying it around inside them when the abuser is totally incapable of understanding what they did and as such, there is no reason to hold onto it. There is only a reason to leave the situation and get on with life in a healthier manner.
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About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.