Are You Ready to Heal Your Trauma?
Today I want to share a concept with you regarding healing traumatic experiences.
Too often, clients want to know “why” something happened, why they had to deal with the difficulties they had to deal with.
I have some news for you: this is not going to help anyone heal. Yes, it is helpful to know the ‘why’ but when it comes to healing trauma and moving on, you have to go to the feeling part of your brain, and reframe what happened from a negative situation to a positive situation, easily done with neuro-linguistic programming.
For example, a client finds themselves in an abusive relationship. They perceive themselves victimized, repeatedly questioning the reasons for this happening.
Okay, there is something about their personality that attracts these types of people into their lives. So what is it about their personality that is making that happen?
When we get to the root cause of the problem, it is usually a people-pleasing behavior, willing to do anything to be ‘liked’ by another person, including doing anything to gain another person’s approval.
Okay, so why did the client develop the people-pleasing behavior?
Most clients, in their youth faced emotionally unavailable parents, possibly coupled with client abuse.
Now what should the client do with this fact set?
That is where the real work comes in.
First, they have to clear all the traumatic events.
Then they have to forgive those who harmed them, including themselves, having been in the situation.
The client’s inner child needs to be healed, the part of the client that has developed the people-pleasing behavior to survive a traumatic family life.
Then, the client must drastically reduce contact or remove them to stop the harm.
Once this has all been done, the client can move on to creating their life the way they want it, taking the necessary actions to make that their reality.
This information comes from the fact that countless individuals feel obliged to stay online constantly to determine what happened involving the individual(s) who hurt them, or regarding their own situations.
Does it even matter if someone is a narcissist, a diagnosis often wrongly applied by individuals unfamiliar with the criteria? Might substance abuse be the cause of their abusive behaviors?
Or maybe they are unwilling to really open up to you, but want to know all about you. They may even keep you away from their family and friends.
Every one of these scenarios reflects unhealthy relationships. The client’s main concern is understanding how they got involved, allowing them to avoid a repeat and move forward.
Overthinking, endless reading, and complaining won’t help you recover and progress. Constantly discussing it can worsen the issue by solidifying it in your thoughts.
Healing and moving onward require certain actions, in an established sequence.
Being a hypnotist and neuro-linguistic programmer, I can find out what is going on with my clients quickly through their feeling mind, NOT their intellectual mind.
After that, I can help them heal quickly and create their ideal future. This is a magical, quick process for those ready to heal. Meaning that the client is ready to confront their past events and heal them.
That means one must be prepared to heal.
I raise this issue because I have recently had some interactions with a woman in her 70s who has been dealing with trauma for all these decades. All she can do is tell me how horrible she feels, but she admits she is not ready to do the work. For some reason, she thought I wanted to work with her, but I didn’t. I told her that I would not take her on as a client even if she asked, because she has made it clear she is not ready to do the work. She agreed and thanked me for understanding.
I have other clients who will continue to find videos on YouTube to verify their version of what they are dealing with. At times, their evaluation is correct. However, at some point, an assessment of the situation is done, and the client has to do the healing work. In particular, tough situations like escaping an abusive relationship or leaving a harmful workplace.
If you are sick of being sick or sick of being stuck, DM me, and we can schedule a video call to see if we are a good match, both with the issues that you want to resolve and our personalities.
I look forward to hearing from you if you fit this situation.
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