There are many people who are very good at giving “love.” By that I mean those who are able to do favors for others, be present when others need you for a sensitive or difficult time they are going through, or by giving gifts.
However, there are many of you who are not very good at accepting gifts, even if it is as simple as a compliment. There are many reasons why you may have a hard time accepting a compliment, low self-esteem being among them. However, I would like you to think of this from the perspective of your being the one giving the compliment. How does it make you feel to have the receiver of your compliment say something dismissive such as, “Oh, it’s nothing.” or, worse say nothing at all maybe because s/he was too embarrassed. It doesn’t feel very good and leads to your maybe asking yourself why you bothered with giving the compliment at all.
Are you one of those people who has a hard time asking for assistance when you need it, thinking that either nobody will help you, or thinking that you “have to do it on your own.” Again, being a “giving” person, you most likely are there to help many of your friends and family whenever they request it, and yet, you deny yourself the same assistance. I would like you to once again ask yourself how you felt when you were the one doing the giving. One of two things took place depending on the person and situation involved. If you felt that the person really needed your help and appreciated it, warm feelings went through your body knowing that this help you gave really mattered. If on the other hand, you felt the person is ALWAYS asking for help and never giving you any help in return, you may have felt resentful of that person. Of course if you never asked for any help, that issue remains on you. One can’t expect another to ask you if you need help. People are not mind readers. You need to make the request if you need it or want it. You will find that by doing so, many people are more than happy to help you out, even strangers, if they see that you are having a particularly difficult time. I know this because many strangers have happily helped me with all sorts of things by my merely requesting the assistance.
This is the thing that you need to keep in the back of you mind all the time. We all have times when we need assistance from others. People are like ants and bees and as such we need a community to make our lives work well.
The Kabbalist teach us that we live in a cycle of giving and receiving. This being the case, it is important to receive love so that you can fill yourself up again to be able to give some more love. Keeping a balance in your giving and receiving will deepen your relationships, and better yet deepen your own sense of self-worth, and by default your feeling of self-love. Because the only way to truly love another is by truly loving yourself. That means you need to allow yourself to access whatever help you need to live a happy and fulfilling life while being a positive influence on those you love be giving help back in return.
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