What Happens When You Let Go Of Negativity? You Create An Amazing LIfe, That’s What – 13 Ways – Vol. 390, December 1, 2016
With the presidential and other elections firmly behind us now, how about getting back to our own lives? How about we realize that being used as ‘pawns’ in the theatrics that is and has been politics to “manufacture consent,” as Norm Chomsky has written about for decades now, is a damaging manner in which to be manipulated ‘by the powers that be.” What does he mean by this? Simple. By distracting the masses by putting out issues that mean “nothing” instead of dealing with the true facts on matters that DO matter, the populace will consent to whatever is being placed in front of them. This is how Hitler came to power as the German currency became useless after WW1, blaming the Jews and anyone else that didn’t fit what he looked like -a blond Arian. It was masterfully played out with his charisma, telling the masses that he had the ultimate answer to gaining Germany her power back. It is also the manner in which our politicians here in the U.S. are able to get Americans to go to war for non-issues, against third world countries who haven’t the power to fight us back. Iran, Grenada, Panama, Nicaragua, Lebanon, Afghanistan, Iraq, and of course Cuba back in the 60’s.
Once we come to realize that we are being played by a media that is taking the position of our government – because “freedom of the press” doesn’t exist in this country, regardless of what you were taught in school, perhaps you would best be served by letting go of the nonsense and concentrate on that which you can do to release the negativity from your world. How? Well, here are some ideas that will turn around your perception of your world by how it is that you choose to spend your time. Because, in the end, this is what is going to ratchet up or down your qualities of life. So here we go:
1. Stop watching the idiocy on the television. If you desire to get the news of the day, go online and find impartial journalist who are giving you facts instead of “spins” other wise known as editorials.
2. Ask yourself what is it that you truly like and even admire about yourself. I will give you an example for myself: I love the fact that regardless of being screwed over (as has anyone who has lived more then a few years has been), I will never allow anyone to crush my heart centered manner of living. It is my heart that allows me to create the best friends in this world, for whom I am there when they need me, and who are there even when I haven’t asked for their assistance. Somehow, they always know when to inquire what I may be in need of their support. I admire the fact that when I choose to do something, I get it done. It doesn’t matter how illogical (read: crazy) it may seem, I go for it anyway and life is brought to a whole other level of experience and understanding! Your turn…..
3. Declutter you life! If you haven’t moved in decades, it is time to get rid of all that crap that is holding you down and back. Just dump it in the trash, donate it to some organization that will give it to the poor, and feel the lightness that comes about in your soul.
4. Speaking about the soul, get in touch with with your own soul and what it is asking of you right now. The easiest way to do this is to get yourself into a very relaxed state – go out to a quiet spot in nature or even in your home, and just take a few deep breaths in, hold them for a few seconds and then exhale. Close your eyes: tighten and then release each set of muscles in your body starting with your feet and working your way up to your head. Then allow your mind to focus on your heart and your soul, It will know how to do this and then allow whatever is to come up to come up. The way you do this, is to just allow it to come up. It will indeed do so, and you will realize all those things that you were “meaning” to do and never did. Make a list and start doing those things. Till you do, you will never be aligned with your greater self, which will leave you in the negative feeling space you may be currently experiencing.
5. Stop contemplating your belly button, meaning stop going over and over your past and all those horrible things others did to you, or worse those horrible things you felt you did yourself to yourself or worse to others. These are in the past and let them stay there. For most, if not all of these things, no one cares but you (unless you are serving time somewhere because of your actions, in which case, you need to forgive yourself, and then let it go.)
What’s the best way to stop contemplating your belly button? Well, a bit of a story here:
Many years ago when I was working in elder care, I had a 60 year old client who went into the mental ward every other month because of depression with suicidal feelings, or because of anxiety so great she didn’t feel safe at home. She was able to stop this insanity by doing a couple of things, but the one I want to share with you is this one: She got out of her own head and started volunteering with Cerebral Palsy patients in a program down the hill from where she lived. What she realized is that these folks were physically deformed and developmentally disabled. There wasn’t a thing that they could do to change that, however she could make their lives better by giving her love and attention to them. That volunteer job became a paid job, even though that was never her intention. Better than that, she realized that she had much more control over her life then she was taking. She could have an adult conversation with her psychiatrist to get on medications that had fewer or perhaps evert no side-effects. She could concentrate her time on being with people that she enjoyed being with, because they brought out the best in her. She could get back to her writing and she could take control of her legal status. She did all these things and found her way to a beautiful relationship with a loving man who she married until he passed away some 15 or more years later. You see, it is all in your own perceptions as to what you can create for yourself. Make better choices, by standing for doing something for others, and you will no longer be focused on what’s wrong with your own life. Because, the reality is that there are very few things that we can’t change for the better so long as we are able to be positive in our thinking processes. And by the way, that client landed in the mental hospital a grand total of three times over the 15 years after we completed our work together due to major stressors in her life, one of them losing her husband. She always stayed in contact with me through letters, which is how I know.
6. If you have people in your life that trigger you, let them know that when they do “x” it makes you feel “y”, and this is what you would like them to do instead. They will either do what you request or not. If they are unable to or refuse to do as you request, allow that relationship to die. In so doing you will allow for a better healthier relationship to come into your life.
7. Stop taking things personally that aren’t personal. Just because someone didn’t immediately respond to your email or phone call doesn’t mean they are ignoring you. Perhaps they missed it or maybe the information never got through. Haven’t you ever missed someone’s email or missed a phone call because the message didn’t get there till days later? Hell, all you need do is contact them again and in the subject line write ****Second time around RE (whatever was in the original subject line). I do this regularly and people see it because they can’t miss it!
If someone missed a phone call – text them instead or leave another message letting them know when you are available to speak – that will decrease that horrible thing known as “phone tag.”
8. Respect each person’s favorite method of communicating. So, I have a rule where if someone wants to communicate with me, especially if it is an update, they get on the phone and call me, or I am utterly uninterested, unless they take the time to send me a very nice old fashioned letter either in the mail or via email putting something that will catch my attention in the subject line. Train the people in your life in how you want to connect. As a hypnotist, I realize all the mistaken comments that occur in texting and emails and I refuse to engage with them. This is because the vocal intonations, which account for more of the meaning then the words is lost. Of course non-verbal body language tells me much more then anything spoken as people will contradict their words with their body language – so in person is the best way for me to communicate with anyone, because I am into clarity of communicating. It saves a whole lot of negative emotions. Why go there if I don’t have to? Perhaps you now feel the same way.
9. If someone says that they can’t hear you, or they don’t have the time to talk to you when you call, or isn’t interested in your offer for whatever – do both of you a favor and LISTEN to what they are saying and respect that. It will allow you to move onto a better situation with someone who is ready to give you the attention that you deserve, while saving a ton of time for both of you. That is what I call a win/win.
10. Take some time every morning to do those things that help to center you. Back in 2004 when I did my Master Practitioner in Neuro-Linguistic Programming we had to pair up and go through a treatment protocol with our partners to release something that was causing harm to us. In my case, my bronchial asthma was the thing that was creating much grief for me, while concerning my clients with my health, as I was coughing more and more with the talking that was needed to be done to do the hypnosis with them. It was terrible! The answer to healing that issue beside letting go of a limiting belief, was to journal every morning, do my gratitudes every morning and do my self-hypnosis where I let go of anything that may be negatively affecting my life, bringing in those things that I want to create in my life and speaking to those I love who have passed on asking them for advise. In 10 minutes of deep self-hypnosis ALL of that can be accomplished!
11. Stop telling other people what they need to do in their lives and concentrate on what you need to do to improve your own life. The only exception to that rule is if you see someone involved in negative behavior. When you bring it up, let them know that you care about them and that is why you are raising the issue, and then tell them what you are noticing. Give them a couple of ideas of how they can change it and then let it go. It is now in their hands to deal with or not. NOTE: Unless you are a person who is congruent in that which you are advising, best to not advise at all, because no one is interested in listening to hypocrites.
12. Find a spiritual practice that fulfills you. I have been studying various ones through these last 12 years or so and combine them for my own “life’s philosophies” as the late great Jim Rohn put it. All spiritual teachings give us higher levels of being that allow for much better relationships with ourselves and then with others. I know from my 2 1/2 months in Israel healing from the brain tumor back in 2009, that there are only two things that matter in terms of creating a great quality of life both based on having a loving heart:
Figure out what you give a damn about in this world, take an stand and do something about it.
Find the time to interact and “be” with your friends and family members. They won’t be there forever regardless of how busy you think you are. My mother-in-law passed away this past March, and I was there for her, every week from the time I knew she was ill with cancer to her passing. This was the time that mattered most to her. Once she passed, it was a bit late to say how much I loved her. My ex has lost a couple of colleagues and one of his favorite art models from his college days. One was in her 30’s, one was in her 40’s and he only found out 5 years after the fact, and one was in her 50’s. So, stop taking for granted that your friends and family will be there forever. We never know what the future holds, so hold them close and be with them and enjoy them NOW!
13. Remember that you are only human and as such you can only do the best that you can from moment to moment. If you are in a role where you are a “role model”especially in your profession, people will be expecting you to ALWAYS be that person. Well, I have news for you, whenever someone believes that I am able to be in control of my emotions a 100% of the time just because I am a hypnotist, an avid student of self-development and someone who understands psychology better then most, I let them know that I am merely human and to be expected to be “on” 100% of the time is an unreasonable expectation. In other words, to be unconditionally loved and cared for means being allowed to be human. So, allow yourself to be human as well.
Put a few of these into practice and you will find your negativity vanishing. Put all of them into place and all of a sudden life’s challenges will become life’s greatest opportunities to allow better solutions to come into your life.
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