These last few months have been very difficult for me, more than I ever really noted for one simple reason. My ex-mother-in-law who still considers me her daughter-in-law even though her son is no longer married to me (though we are still very good friends) is dealing with very difficult chemotherapy sessions, feels tired most of the time and frankly, it is difficult to deal with. It is difficult to deal with because though I have lost many people to cancer and other medical issues much too early, my mother-in-law played a very important part in my life right after my own father’s too early passing away 31 years ago when I was only 23 ½ years old.
You see, the difference that made the difference for me was how my mother-in-law just took me into her family. She gave me the best Christmas ever that first Christmas after my father passed away. No matter how difficult I could be over the years, she always loved and accepted me. There were times while I was still very ill with the manic depression when I said and did things that weren’t always easy for her to deal with and yet, through it all she was always loving and present for me.
So this is the thing, it is my turn to give back to this wonderful woman what she gave me in the way that I can. I call her often to check in with her. Sometimes I can make her laugh. I send cards to her periodically to lift her spirits because old fashioned cards sent in the mail can be kept if desired. Because the most important thing that matters when someone is in the condition that she is, is to know that those who love and care about them are present while they are alive. It’s true that I may be 3,000 miles away from her currently, however, the cell phone works very well so long as I remember to call during the time that she is awake and able to take the calls.
Regarding my dad’s passing. I can honestly say that though it was a shock to me, he only being 61 years old at the time, I had let him know while he was alive what he meant to me with all the wonderful bits of wisdom he shared with me (though I learned more as I got older and could understand it more deeply). I let him know that I loved and respected him many times before he passed away, so that when it happened, I was clear that he knew what he needed to know. I had the opportunity because I worked in his dental office and it was there when we had many one-on-one talks. Was everything perfect? Hell no, because there were times he blamed me for things that he had no business doing so, but because I had a built a great relationship with him, I could honestly tell him my point of view and clear up the matter.
So, this is what I want you to understand more than anything else in this world. If you have people in your life that you love and you haven’t told them, tell them and let them know specifically what you love most about them. Your gift back in most cases will be to have them reflect back to you what you mean to them.
If you know someone who is very ill, weak and needs to have your loving, caring support, think of ways that you can add something special to their lives and do it – not later – but now, while you still can. If I had waited for a few more years thinking my dad would live into his 70’s he never would have heard my loving words. My mother-in-law gets to hear my loving words while I listen to what is going on for her currently on a weekly basis at least. Whether, I make it to her funeral is immaterial because she got what she needed most while she was able to hear those words, share the interactions and know that she is loved without a doubt.
We all too often take our relationships for granted. STOP doing this right now! Let those who you love know that you love them. Be present for them and you will get more than you ever thought you would back in return for your efforts. That is a promise I can make to you.
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms for the Mind and Soul is a book of essays based on the wisdom gained through those who have touched me through my own journey in life. Purchase an inspiring copy today from the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Store.Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
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