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Jun 13 2013

Sudden Loss: How to Cope

Sudden Loss: How to Cope – Vol. 204 – June 13, 2013

I went to church on Sunday as I usually do. It is a very small congregation comprised of a very close knit group who keep things running. I had gotten some very good news right before going over to the church and got dressed up to celebrate.

Sitting in my usual pew, in the second row, waiting for the service to begin, I heard one of the gentleman congregants telling the choir in the back of the church, far away from where I was sitting, of what sounded like a bad dream. I heard him tell the story of how just this morning the church got the news of a member’s untimely passing. She had just had knee replacement surgery a few days ago. She was in rehab where she got sepsis, passing away quickly from that blood infection. Apparently her daughter and husband were there with her when she passed away.

The thing that you need to know about this particular woman was that she was so happy to be a part of our church, just having become a member recently. She was finding all sorts of ways to help out from cleaning the kitchen to handling some of the finances. Her great amount of energy and enthusiasm, as great as they were paled in comparison to her cheerful and down to earth manner.

Two things went through my mind as I heard the news. One, was the horror of realizing that someone I cared about seemed to be a victim to our broken medical system. I agreed with the female congregant who asked: How could a woman who wasn’t even lame, capable of walking, be lead to have this surgery and a few days later be dead? The other thought that I had was how grateful I was to have known this woman, having volunteered with her at the church a few times. How, lucky I am for all the great relationships that I have in my life and knowing that this is what truly matters to me in my life.

I would like to have you think about all the people in your life and the meaning that they bring to you.

I would like you to think about the last time you let them know that they held a special place in your heart.

I would like you to think about the last time someone let you know that you held a special place in their heart and how that made you feel.

I would like you to think about how you can be more open and present to those who you care for and most especially those who care for you.

We Americans spend so much time worrying about the past hurts and future problems we have a hard time recognizing what truly matters in life. It isn’t the money, and it isn’t the crap that you feel you have to have in your life. It is the loving connections you have with those who allow you to be who you are as you allow them to be who they are, just enjoying those quiet moments together. A great life is one that is made up of meaningful moments with those you love. Remember that for that is the most healing message I can share with you as an outcome of this most recent tragic event.

 

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