Yesterday I went to look into one of my bank accounts to fine that it had gone into the negative numbers. This is never a good thing since we get charged with bank fees, usually totally unreasonable ones these days. In this case, I only use this bank account for people on the West coast to easily move money into my account given that this is a federal bank. What I was not expecting was by having a person deposit money into my account with the use of a teller, that I would be charged a $12 maintenance fee. Why? Because this particular bank account is only to be used without teller assistance with the use of the ATM or online transfers.
Well, the person who made the deposit into my account in Seattle, didn’t have an account at this particular bank so both those methods were not applicable to her situation. So, I get on the phone and the representative explains to me that because she went to the bank and used the services of the teller to deposit the money into my account, the fee was assessed. I have never heard of such a crazy thing as to have a bank charge for a deposit being made, and yet, banks can charge for anything!
Well, I called the bank and had to talk to a “manager” to refund the $12 fee because frankly, I was not interested in keeping an account in a bank that would take my money for having a deposit made in such a fashion.
Now, I realize that being resentful is not a very healthy way to be. I know this because of the physiological consequences I feel in my body such as: an anxious stomach and a quickened heart beat. So, what do we need to do to take care of these resentments?
We need to take action to resolve whatever the issue is that is creating the resentment. My bank example is a simple situation that took more time than I desired, but was better than having the $12 charge and whatever other fees the bank may choose to charge.
Here are some steps to help you to easily and effectively release any resentment that you may be feeling:
Get in touch with the real emotions behind your feeling. In my case I am doing my friend a favor by saving her money on her cell phone by having her on my bill. She is very good about paying her part of the bill every month. So my issue isn’t with her, it was with the bank for charging me for having her deposit the money needed for the phone payment into their bank.
Figure out if you contributed in some way to the problem. In my case, it was a matter of not realizing that by having my friend use the teller to deposit her check, a fee could be assessed, given the terms of the account that I have at this bank.
Take the actions needed to rectify the situation. I had to call the bank to find out why they assessed the monthly maintenance fee, that was never a part of this account. I next had to take the time to listen to the explanation from the manager to find out what caused the fee to be assessed and then listen to other alternatives to how we could handle this situation without it costing me more money. I then had to call my friend and let her know that this method wasn’t going to work and for us to figure out a different method of her paying me for her share of the phone bill. She decided that mailing me the money was fine and so we are going back to that method.
Now, if you have a much more emotionally charged situation than my example you will need to be seriously honest with yourself and take responsibility for your part in the situation. Because, generally in life, if we are feeling wronged by someone, there was a miscommunication or an expectation that was unfulfilled.
To release the resentment, you will need to ask yourself if there was indeed a miscommunication, understanding that people are rushing about most days just trying to keep up with everything they feel they need to accomplish for that day.
If the resentment was based on an expectation, you need to ask yourself if that expectation was reasonable. Lastly, if it was something that you are responsible for, it is very important for you to take responsibility for your part in the situation for your relationship to be healed, allowing the resentment to be released, which will bring your physiology back to a healthy manner of functioning. No longer will you feel the anxious feelings in your stomach and your heart will beat at its normal rate. A very good side-effect for taking care of your resentments as they arise, wouldn’t you say?
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