Many medical and mental health professionals feel that sex addiction does not exist believing that this “label” is an excuse for infidelity. For the over 12 million people who suffer with it, including many women, this is a very serious mental health issue given the negative consequences attached to it.
Melissa Bykofsky wrote a very interesting article in Yahoo Health called What its Like to Be A Sex addict where took some quotes off an app called Whisper where people could share their feelings anonymously. Because I am not teamed up with this particular app, I am unable to use it’s content here. However, what I can share with you, is what my sexually addicted clients have shared with me about the pain they go through knowing: that they cannot stop from looking at porn, wanting to be with most of the women they see as they go through their day-to-day lives, or making calls to “massage therapists” in the hopes of getting a “happy ending” massage (where the client is brought to “completion” for an additional cost for the experience).
For the gentlemen who I see who are already in “committed” relationships there is shame and guilt because of the two lives they are leading. They are constantly worried about being caught and found out by anyone. If their partner finds out, it could end their relationship. If there are kids involved, that could mean a divorce with limited time with their kids.
For those who have never found a committed relationship, they wonder why it is that they are going after all this “empty of feeling” sex with people that they don’t care about and why they can’t commit to one woman.
On top of the possible loss of the most important relationships that they have in their lives, they are concerned with their bosses finding our and then firing them, leaving them without an income.
Most of all my clients want to know why it is that they have these compulsive thoughts of having sex on their minds 24/7 and why they can’t seem to have “normal relationships” with others
Because of the lack of understanding around this issue of sex addiction, there are may people who laugh at the thought that anyone could consider this a problem. However, for anyone who has any sort of addiction, the reason it is called an “addiction” is because there is no control over the behavior involved, allowing the behavior to take over the addict’s life. For many the money spent on getting the sexual releases involved can be much more than they can afford putting a financial strain on them and their family, if they have one.
For the majority of my clients, internet pornography was the door into compulsive masturbation and that evolved to “the chase” for the “happy ending” massages and in a minority of cases, onto escort serves.
A few of my clients were also into “flashing” believing that those women they flashed “were into them.” The only problem with flashing in public is that is is illegal. This is what lead my clients that were “flashers” into my practice.
The reason that people get involved with sex addiction in particular is because of their inability to “normally attach” to one person, unable to feel the mutual love and affection that “normally attached” people find in relationships. Those with sex addictions are cheating on their partners regularly, they have an inability to be truly intimate with their partners, are usually turned on by the “chase” for new sex partners, and many are compulsive masturbators. In my practice the majority of my sexually addicted clients were unwilling to use condoms, making unsafe sex the rule.
The reason for the sex addiction is the same as any other addiction, to no longer feel the emotional pain that is the cause for the addiction.
Toward the end of this article Ms. Bykofsky quotes Ley saying that there are no known “cures” for sex addiction, though Seikel is quoted as saying that cognitive behavioral therapy is useful to lessen the symptoms.
After working with sexually addicted clients for over 10 years now, I can honestly say that they can fully overcome this problem with the help of hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming. They can let go of the internet porn, stop the chasing after empty sexual relations while learning how to create healthy boundaries leading to healthy relationships. Cognitive behavioral therapy is not among the treatments I use, because there is no need for it. The healing happens when the ability to love one’s self is achieved, letting go of their addiction, along with a fulfilling their “compelling future,” which for sex addicts is usually being able to achieve a meaningful, loving and trust worthy relationship with a significant other.
I wrote a book about this subject “Do I Have A Sex Addiction? Now What? Based on my clinical experience working with my clients. My clients who taught me everything I needed to learn to help them heal completely, no longer interested in any sort of empty sexual encounters or over doing the masturbation.
If you want to check out Melissa Bykofsky’s areticle, you can find it here.
Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?
Do you suspect that either you or a loved one might have a Sex or Porn Addiction? Find out for sure as well as the best ways to treat Sex and Porn Addiction in “Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?”, currently available from the Dawning Visions Hypnosis StoreDo I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?
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