So Your Thought Your Migraine Was Due to What? – Vol. 222, October 24, 2013
I would find it amusing if people weren’t hurting so bad, to hear the medical professionals blame migraines, back issues and many other soft tissue problems on physiological issues, medicating the symptoms, never handling the real issue. How can I say this? Good question. Because I have so many clients who come to see me who have aches and pains, that have zero to do with anything physiological.
Last month I was sitting in my office with one of my clients who has been fighting migraine headaches for the past 10 years. Her headaches were horrifically debilitating for a day and a half at a stretch. What this meant was that she felt lousy, was in bed unable to be present with her children, unable to do her work, and definitely poor company for her husband.
Like too many of my clients, her parents have been unable to validate the emotional pain that she has endured for most of her life growing up in their home. There were some very difficult situations that my client has come through that her parents refuse to validate, saying that nothing like that ever occurred. On top of this issue, her parents are self-involved wanting what they want when they want it, without a thought as to how it will effect my client and her family. This according to my client’s reportage. After spending many years working on her relationship with her parents, always getting hurt as she extended herself to them, she has come to the sad realization that her parents are toxic to her. But, this is a complex problem in the sense that she really doesn’t want her children to have to go without knowing their grandparents. The situation puts her into a bind which brings on all sorts of emotional stress and physical pains making her life much more challenging then if she didn’t have to contend with all of these negative effects of the relationship with her parents.
I gave her some homework to do, homework that she really felt very uncomfortable doing, yet, she knew that she had to set some boundaries with her parents during the time they visit with her family. She wrote an email to them telling them what was going to happen during their visit and why. A month after writing the email she finds herself free of her migraine headaches. Headaches for which she has taken so many medications to relieve over the years without ever getting to the root cause of the problem. She questions what all those chemicals have done to her body.
I have other clients who come in with various aches and pains, and the thing that I can tell you is that regardless of what the x-rays and MRIs say, if after the suggested surgery is performed, the pain is still there, maybe, just maybe it isn’t a physiological issue. Maybe it is as Dr. John E. Sarno explains in his book, The Divided Mind has much more to do with anger and anxiety that your unconscious mind has helped you to contend with. It does this by decreasing the amount of oxygen to your affected body parts creating the pain that takes your mind off of the emotional issues you are not ready to deal with at the point when the aches and pains began.
All the surgeries and all the pain medications will never take away emotional pain. The only way to do this is to create effective boundaries with those with whom you interact claiming your life back instead of being a “victim” to others whom you allowed to walk all over you. For effective ways to do this, read the previous blog posting Vol. 220 called:
Are You Triggered By Others: Learn How to Stop It! With the strategies in that blog posting in place you are well on your way to feeling much better.
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