Are you ready for profound change?

Perhaps like me, you have been on the path of healing and/or recovery for years, but have not been helped enough to be at peace or resolve reoccurring unwanted patterns in your life. Perhaps no one has been able to truly understand you or your pain and you feel alone, isolated, misunderstood, or ignored. Working with Suzanne can break that cycle of disappointment and discouragement once and for all. You will find no greater truth seeker and no better advocate for your greatest good. She was not only a skilled hypnosis practitioner, but a fearless warrior for my highest intention and deepest needs. For the first time in my life, I feel I have someone supporting me who truly has my best interest at heart. Suzanne stood with me through every step of the difficult process of regaining my own identity and self-esteem. Her unwavering commitment to my healing helped me reconnect with the my inner caretaker and self nurturing instinct that had been buried so long ago. I am now confident that wherever my journey takes me, I will be able to embrace it and use it to enrich my life and the life of others. I will be forever grateful for Suzanne’s help and recommend her to anyone who is ready for profound change and healing.

Sincerely,

L.K. McCarren

If you are like me you have the tendency to avoid change like the plague. You wonder how the people that thrive on change do it, for some people do love changes in their lives.
Whether you love it or hate it, fact of the matter is change is a good thing to have occur in our lives.

From my experience fighting the inevitable changes that life has to offer you is a waste of time and energy. By learning to flow with these changes I have been able to create some opportunities which I wouldn’t have otherwise.

In the recent past I found my self in an unbearable living situation. I was not happy there for many different reasons, though comfortable in the routine that I had been living for the past 14 years. It was so hard for me to leave the comfort of that routine, that I made up all sorts of excuses as to why I should not make the move. The longer I resisted the change the more reasons I made up to not make the move putting things way out of proportion. Eventually I came to realize that I could not continue as things were After the move I realized that the negativity that surrounded me in the old place created the fear in me that I would not be able to afford my own place. That the people I was living with wouldn’t be able to make it without me and a lot of other excuses to keep me in that negative environment that was oh so comfortable for the misery that it brought to me.

Now that I am in my new place I have found a sense of empowerment that I never thought I could realize, the most important of these being that I can overcome my fears and found strength that I never knew that I had, along with an inner calm. I know that if I didn’t make that change things would have continued to destroy me. As a result of the move all sorts of wonderful new opportunities have come my way that I never could have realized had I stayed “stuck” in the resistance to that change.

As we go through life, change is going to come up whether or not we want to deal with it. If we continue to ignore these changes long enough they can create enough stress to ultimately kill. Changes that come up that may seem negative to us, can if we look at them from a different perspective become that which frees us, from what is creating the habits and behaviors that are actually harming us.

It is when we ignore our bodies call for action that all sorts of health issues arise. Some people choose to smoke to release their stress, some people over eat while others will drink, drug or gamble while still others have depressive thoughts or issues relating to anger. It doesn’t really matter how the destructive nature displays itself. What matters is that you listen to what your body and mind are telling you to address and then to address it.

To grow we must embrace changes in our lives. If the change we pursue starts out positive and turns out to be negative, we need to turn that negative into a positive, learn from it and then release it. (see the “Forgiveness” December 2009 newsletter).

I believe that all negative changes can be turned into positive changes with the right frame of mind. Getting to that frame of mind isn’t always easy, especially if one is in the midst of a negativity.

Hypnosis can help you transition through life’s difficult changes by dispelling the overwhelming feelings that created the resistance. It teaches you how to deal with these situations in the future allowing for a much better quality of life.

“For most of us, health will not depend on who we are, but on how we live. The body you have at 20 depends on your genes, but the body you have at 40, 60 or 80 is the body you deserve; that reflects your behavior.” (Readers Digest 1996)

Fact is even though our body is constantly evolving our body’s cells remember everything. Any illness we get unless we are born with it, is a result of our feelings. Louise L Hay, Catherine Ponder and Caroline Myss amongst others have written books on this.

Deepak Chopra tells us that there is a hidden intelligence that is at work in our bodies that scientists have not been able to tap into yet, but they are finding more and more proof this is true. He states that if that intelligence can cause our bodies to become diseased, then that intelligence can also reverse that.

Our emotions and they way we deal with situations in our lives have a direct consequence on our bodies. I have experienced this myself over and over again. Perhaps you yourself are able to see some situation where you can relate the negative (or positive) way you were feeling with an ache or pain (or feeling of elation). Have you ever been so angry you have given yourself a headache? You get so worked up that you can actually feel your blood pressure rising. Have you ever been so happy that you/your body felt like it was on cloud nine?

There is a direct connection between how the body feels and your mind. Your brain communicates with your immune system constantly.

Paul Ekman, Professor Emeritus at the University of California at San Francisco did research on the bodies immune system and the effect one has on it by either smiling or frowning. He found that when a person smiles, you alter your blood chemistry and actually produce chemicals that are natural opiates not only in your brain, but in the cells in your stomach and intestines. Ever know someone who is always smiling, and you wonder if they are just on drugs, for how can anyone be that happy all the time. Well the more they smile, the more “drugs” they are on really-natural drugs.

When we feel negative emotions about someone or something, we put our whole body at risk. When we hang on to negativity and are not able to forgive and move on, we are setting ourselves up for “problems”.

Bernie Seigel has actually proven that when a person forgives, an actual chemical change takes place in the body which in turn produces the correct anti-body to enable the healing to occur.

When you are able to forgive you are able to set yourself and your body free. Free from the negativity that causes illness, disease, aches and pains. When we feel negativity about someone or something we put not only our mind but our entire body at risk.

I have an 89 year old client that when she gets upset with her daughter, her body literally develops Parkinson-like tremors. Her hands shake so much you can visibly see it and her body is so shaky that she has a hard time just walking. When she is on good terms with her daughter she is literally a different being. She is very stable and has no visible tremors.

So I repeatedly ask her why she does this to herself, why does she let her daughter upset her to the point it affects her body the way it does. At age 89 she knows no other way to react she tells me. I try to tell her to think of it as her daughter doesn’t mean the things she says and she needs to realize this and just forgive her because it is her daughter’s way of dealing with her aging and ailing mother.

Sometimes it isn’t easy to forgive someone who has wronged you however I think you need to do this for yourself and not for the other person, and if you think of it that way it becomes easier.

Forgiveness is needed in our lives for us to be able to move forward. If we are unable to forgive we build up anger and resentments, and this in turns harms not only our emotional state of health, but our physical health as well. Sometimes we need to forgive even if we feel we did no wrong and that is the hardest I think. But until we do, we get stuck in a vortex that traps us and constantly eats away literally like a flesh eating virus at our minds and bodies until disease sets in.

To forgive someone for wronging us whatever the reason is the key to happiness with in ourselves. Sometimes I think if we swallow our pride and forgive, the other person will think twice and learn from the experience. Or maybe not, however just knowing we are freed from the situation because the act of forgiveness allows us to be released emotionally. By not forgiving, we are still hanging onto the person or situations and that causes us problems whether it be today, tomorrow or twenty years form now. It will come back in one way or another to harm us.

The most important person for us to forgive is ourselves for anything we may have done that makes us feel guilty. With that done, life can move on in a much more positive and productive manner.

Sometimes we don’t even realize we need to forgive someone in our lives. That is where NLP and time line therapy can help. There may be things, times or people that have wronged us in the past that we are unaware of on a conscious level that we feel anger towards, and we don’t even realize it. We just go through our lives and feel angry and don’t even realize why.

If you feel angry, or hateful or just unhappy in your life, and you don’t know why or where it is coming from on a conscious level, hypnosis can help you tap into your unconscious mind to figure out where those very harmful and potentially deadly feelings are coming from, and allow you to release them, forgive and move on with a contentment and happiness to enjoy your life as it was meant to be lived.

Are you feeling stressed with less energy than normal and perhaps feeling that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach? It almost feels as if you know that you need to do something, but you are not sure exactly what and everything else that you have been doing up till now hasn’t helped to alleviate any of these unwanted feelings that you have in your body.

If you fit this description at all it is probably because when you take the time to think about it there are too many demands on your time and money because too many people want something from you. It doesn’t really matter what, the fact is that you are tired, sick of spending money on things you may not need or want and just have a desire to be free of all of it. Perhaps you are soothing yourself by drinking to much alcohol, spending too many hours at the office because home is worse than work in your mind, or maybe you are spending money you don’t have for things that you know you don’t need… but it feels better to shop, doesn’t it? Maybe you are eating too much and even worse you are eating junk food, even though you know it makes you feel worse doing so, or maybe even perhaps you have decided to go get massages to relax you- it was innocent in the beginning, but now you are being “pleasured” by the lovely “massage therapist” and though it feels good in the moment you feel badly about yourself after the fact….but you can’t help yourself, because nothing else makes the negative feelings go away…but you know that it is only a temporary fix, and yet a temporary fix is better than no fix at all because you think you are losing your mind.

When most people feel this way they will go see are mental health professional who in most cases will write a prescription for some medication to help deal with the negative thoughts and behaviors. While this can help in some cases, it is not a cure. Just ask the folks who have been on medication for years that do in many cases feel better and yet if they were to stop their medications would most likely have their symptoms return.

The other problem that I personally have with medication as the cure-all of our 21st century manner of treatment would be the long term effects of the medication on the patient who is ingesting it. Keep in mind that your body has to detoxify the medication either through your liver or kidneys depending on the type of medication that is being used. Over the many years that most patients are kept on these very strong medications, damage to these life giving organs can and does happen. I had it happen in my own case with long term use of lithium for mood disorders and though the medication did its job, I found after over ten years of use it was starting to slow down my kidney function. This became apparent in the deforming of my thumb nails which were telling me that something was not right in my body. After 24 hour urine collection, it was discovered that my kidney function was not operating at the normal levels. In my case it was caught before permanent damage occurred. However, one always has to ask themselves if the treatment is worth the possible harm. In my case the lithium was a potential life saver, for most of the time I was taking it. My situation changed drastically when I learned how to do NLP and how to apply it to myself to conquer the bipolar for which the lithium was prescribed. Of course this was a shock to my long term psychiatrist when she noticed after 10 months of seeing her without being on medication of any sort, that indeed my bipolar was no longer in evidence. Everything was fine and that bipolar did not need to be what she was taught in her psychiatric training to be a “life long illness”. Since March 12, 2004 I have not been on any medication for my bipolar and since January 5, 2005 I have not needed to be under psychiatric care. Yes, medications do indeed have their place, and that place is necessary in far fewer situations than or allopathic world of today is willing to believe.

After working in the hypnotic arts for over seven years now, I can tell you that the reason that most people get ill has more to do with how you allow others to control you, than anything else. It is amazing that this idea is very rarely ever spoken of in the psychological literature. The specialist seem to believe a pill of some sort or cognitive behavioral therapy is the answer to most anything. I am here to give you a much more practical outlook on this whole situation.

The fact of the matter is that you are not “losing your mind” and there are reasons for acting and thinking and feeling in the way that you are currently. To make this very simple it is because you are allowing others to run your life for you. Yeah, we all want to get along with people and have friends and not have our significant others or our kids drive us nuts, or worse our parents and yet most times it seems to be easier to either ignore the problem or do something that will sedate us for a while to just get a break from it all.

The reason you find yourself in this situation is that your unconscious mind “runs” you whether or not you are aware of it and this is what makes it so difficult to stop doing the things that you want to stop and to do the things that you want to do. My guess is that if you were able to do the things the way you wanted you wouldn’t need to be reading this article. With that in mind do understand that the only way to reprogram your unconscious mind to receive the results you desire is to work inside the unconscious mind. This is what hypnotists and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioners assist their clients to do. It really doesn’t matter what the effect is, it is the “cause” that matters. In my experience in this field it always goes back to having your “boundaries” being over ridden by someone in your world, either when you were young or later on in life, perhaps some love interest cheating on you. The way to “STOP” your boundaries from being over ridden is to “STOP” allowing the people in your life to over ride them.

Now, that may sound easy enough to do, however do realize that most people with significant problems be they emotional or physical (as in having an illness) are allowing their boundaries to be over ridden ALL THE TIME and the way that you know this is because every time you have an interaction with someone and it results in your feeling something negative either emotionally like feeling anger, quilt or hurt or physically (in this case do see a physician to rule out physiological issues or to learn about what needs to be treated with the hypnotic work) because your body is letting you know in a different way that something is not working for you, your boundaries have been over ridden.

The good news is that there is a way to stop this unpleasant cycle of behavior, no matter what form or forms that it takes for you. That way is TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE BACK in a manner that is workable for everyone involved. It isn’t that complicated really; however there are more humane and ethical ways of doing this than most of us would be able to figure out on our own.

Using the power of you unconscious mind to first of all understand why it is that you are allowing yourself to feel miserable and then relearning that you are worthy because of the magnificent person you really are. Once you have regained a sense of self, you can indeed learn how to enforce the boundaries that help you feel safe and respected. In most cases
it will be quick and easy to reclaim your life your happiness and sense of fulfillment.
Here is what Laura in Boston, Mass. had to say about our work together:

Prior to working with Suzanne I found myself binging at night, half
asleep unable to control my behavior. In fact, I felt that way about
most of my life – as if there were a part which was continuously
sabotaging my efforts. I had many types of therapists over the years,
some of whom were reasonably helpful, but even combined they were
nothing compared to Suzanne. The fact that I am no longer night-eating
or overeating, and the fact that I am no longer so angry and stifled, are
merely examples of my new reality: I’m on my way to being truly free.
Suzanne was able to clear all the causes of my problems in a few weeks.
I had no idea the results would be this phenomenal.”

You may have a different presenting problem than Laura’s, however, if anger, depression, anxiety, self-loathing are any part of how you feel currently, you too can be freed of these negative feelings, usually in one weekend of intensive work up to around a month later if you were to work with me. This really depends on how quickly you personally integrate the changes. Please note that If you have a lot of weight to lose (more than 30 pounds) or have medical issues that complicate your case, it will take longer to receive your results, however, you will FEEL MUCH BETTER on your way to reaching your goal, and that means you will have given yourself a MUCH BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE and don’t you deserve that much?

Do understand that if you are looking for a competent person to help you with these issues I would suggest that you find someone who is a Master Practitioner of NLP and Time Line Therapy ™ if at all possible because these techniques allow for much quicker results than straight suggestive hypnosis. You can contact the American Board of NLP or The Time Line Therapy ™ to get a referral to someone who practices almost anywhere in the world. You can find them through contacting the Tad James Company, Inc. Just google them on the internet or call: 888-440-4823 and they will be happy to connect you to the boards for a referral to a competent practitioner in your area.

Hypnosis and NLP have managed to turn my whole life around and know that it can do the same for you so long as you are willing to make the investment in yourself that will be required to do the work.

Over the past few years I have been working with men who call themselves sexual compulsives. The reason being is that they are always thinking about it, on the web looking at internet porn sites or looking for woman who will give them some relief. In many cases it is distracting them from more productive use of their time and creating issues in their relationships with their significant other if they have one. In many cases they do not, because they do not know how to be in a long term relationship with another. These men look like any body else you may know and many are professionals.

Experts believe that between 6 and 10% of the American public experiences real problems with sexual compulsivity or inappropriate sexual expression. Sexual compulsion is like many other forms of compulsion including eating disorders and drug and alcohol abuse: a destructive expression or what would other wise be a normal activity of life. The thing that makes it a compulsion is the inability of the person to control their sexual actions. In my clients the need for arousal is more important than the need for any sort of intimacy. I have also noticed in my practice that about 80% of the men who come in with this problem have some sort of sexual abuse in their history, usually before they were sexually active themselves. This creates a feeling of inferiority and shame. In about 30% of my cases the sexual abuse was done by some relative that was older then them. In another 30% it started out innocently enough by “playing doctor” with the opposite gendered sibling that went on for many years, sometimes into the late teens and early 20’s. In none of these cases did the client speak with the person about the abuse or about the long term sexual relations they had with their siblings after the fact. About half of the men who have come in to see me have tried therapy of one kind or another, but it did not work. About half of them have tried SLAA the 12-step program for sexual compulsives and found no help there either.

Here are some statistics that are useful when looking at this group as a whole, taken from Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. who did a study filled out by sex addicts who had been admitted for treatment to a Minnesota hospital or had spent at least three years in a 12-step program for sexual addiction. He had 752 male and 180 females. 63% were heterosexual, 18% were homosexual, 11% were bisexual and 8% were unsure of their sexual preference.

Loss of self-esteem was reported by 97%, 96% reported feeling guilt or shame, 91% had feelings of hopelessness and 90% stated they were acting in ways that went against their own values. 81% reported a history of sexual abuse and 42% also had a dependency on drugs or alcohol. Eating disorders were involved in 38%.

There is a biochemical reason according to Carnes and others as to why the addictive behavior happens. It is because the sensation of orgasm originates in you mind, in the form of neurotransmitters which happen in the limbic system where emotions, desires, drives and impulses occur. What happens is that over a period of time, an addiction lowers the dopamine level which creates a sense that “something is missing” which is the basis of addictive behavior. The addict learns that this behavior creates a higher than average response which may be the trigger to a feeling of relief from the low dopamine level.

Mark Kastleman in his article, “How Internet Pornographers Market to Men vs. Women” explains that the male brain responds with more intensity and speed with visual stimuli then woman do. With this known the internet pornographers use every sort of visual media available to lure in the male viewers. Men also tend to be attracted to anonymous, nude females for sex with their total focus on the physical act of sex. With 20 times the testosterone in males than females they like to see things done to the females with the male dominating. These images have no connection to love, romance or passion. The main idea is for the more cellular memory the pornographers can link to their porn throughout the male brain and body, the greater chance they have of addicting their viewers. The more naturally occurring the testosterone, adrenaline and hormones flow through the viewer the more intense the arousal, the more deeply the images will be imprinted in his memory the greater the addiction. The pornographers want the male to bring himself to completion with his sexual act. The problem with this is that the men no longer want to create the intimacy of a real relationship because the porn is there 24 hours a day giving them exactly what they desire without any thing they have to do but please themselves. This can happen with or without a mate involved.

According to Mark Roinett, MFT, there are stages to the sexual addiction cycle. The first stage is the “pain agent”, which begins the cycle of addiction. They then go into the second stage which is dissociation to separate self from feelings. If nothing is done at this stage then the person goes into an altered state, a trance state where the person starts acting out the by making a phone call to a sex line or to find a woman to physically release himself sexually with. The next stage is the behavior itself and the final stage is the time that elapses till the next “pain agent” comes around to start the cycle over again.

Roinett believes that it is necessary to dissolve the problem by the first stage where the “pain agent” is to be understood. This is the cause of the problem. He goes on to suggest that if it is not caught in that stage it can be dealt with during the dissociation phase, but after that stage it becomes more difficult to deal with the problem at hand.

As a hypnotist it is interesting to note that a “trance” state is indeed a part of the process. If you are a person who suffers with this problem I have found that the problem can be expeditiously taken care of by using the power of the unconscious mind. While in the state of trance you can come to understand how it is that you came to be the way you are. I have found that desensitizing trauma, forgiveness work, along with suggestive therapy around letting go of the addiction are very potent means to rid my clients of their sexual compulsions.

If you are interested in using hypnosis as a means to rid your self or someone you know with this problem make sure that the person you employ has had success in handling these cases. It is also helpful if they have some understanding of neuro-linguistic programming as well. You can find this out by checking out their websites for writings about this subject as well as testimonials from their clients that have been able to let go of this particular problem.

These days seem to bring more anxiety than we have felt in a long time given the state of the economy, the derelict things we have found our representatives here in the states have done with the power they were granted and the political scene as discussed in the news.

It is interesting to me though, that none of these items are contributing to why people will call for help. It is usually the more mundane human situations that create the most angst. Sexually inappropriate behavior is one area that creates much worry as well as anger. It can happen on either side of the marriage. Recently I had a fairly happily married woman in here that cheated on her husband many years ago. She never shared this information with him, never wanting to hurt him. The secret seemed to be a contributing factor to creating panic attacks in her since once the event was cleared they disappeared.

I have many men call because they are cheating on their wives or girlfriends who feel guilty and anxious about this behavior. Some of them realize that the behavior could destroy the life they so carefully crafted if caught.

I have clients who worry about their health usually with histories of chronic or acute issues. And I have clients who have kids who they have no idea on how to deal with. I have grown children who do not know how to deal with their controlling parents.

It seems that the over arching concerns of my clients anyway, are still concentrated on the areas that have always been problematic. It is great to know that hypnosis can make the worries go away and free the time and energy that was wasted to be better utilized in more productive ways leading to a happier more fulfilled life. It is really just a matter of desiring to deal with those areas in life that feel most uncomfortable and then doing whatever it takes to put it all in the past. Once that is accomplished you are able to learn better methods to create the life you desire and deserve.

If you are in a situation that is creating unnecessary worry and you are ready to let it go, do call a hypnotist in your area so you too can enjoy life again. It would be a great holiday gift to give to both you and those who love you.

Recently I have moved from a place that I lived for the past 13 years to a smaller apartment. Now, any of you who have gone through this process can understand the concept of clearing out all the stuff that you no longer need. As hard as this exercise may be, there is I believe a harder one that many of us have difficulties getting through. This would be in the area of reviewing the relationships that you have in your life. I bring this up because I have realized that there were some relationships that I had that were not very healthy for me, others that needed to be reformatted so that I felt that I was receiving the attention that a caring long term relationship should have and releasing others that were not of any use and in some cases creating a negative energy that was not welcome.

Many of my clients find themselves in similar situations where the people with whom they are spending many hours of their time are a drain on them. It feels as if you are not getting heard or receiving the sort of attention that you feel you deserve and it hurts. It happens at work when your boss is giving you negative feedback, instead of assisting you to aspire to be the best that you can be. It happens in primary relationships when you feel taken for granted or worse, abused or ignored. And it can happen when you are in friendships where you feel that you are putting a lot of effort out, and not having it returned in like kind. In the more serious cases, you may feel used and abused by these “friends” or family of yours.

When we feel that we are not being heard or respected by those with whom we interact, sometimes we create interesting ways to deal with it, unconsciously of course. For instance if you feel your boss is unsupportive of you, you may create behavior that is counter productive to your job situation like showing up late, becoming antagonistic, or not being all that productive. If it is in your primary relationship you may decide to get your needs taken care of outside the relationship. If you are hanging out with people that drink and you have an issue in that area, you may find yourself once again getting drunk, for that seems to be what you need to do in order to fit in even though for you drinking leads to sabotaging yourself which brings feelings of failure.

The great motivational speakers all give the same advice of being aware with whom you interact, for that is what you will become. You need to think about the people with whom you choose to associate carefully. Over the years people can change. If you are growing you too are changing. Perhaps it would be useful to clear out all those individuals that are creating issues inside you and figure out if they are helpful or harmful to your sense of self. If this is an issue that you do not feel that you can handle on your own, perhaps working with a hypnotist will help you to understand exactly why you are choosing to stay in relationships that are keeping you from growing and feeling good about yourself. I know I had to get some assistance from outside myself in order to better understand how to deal with these influences on my life, creating a healthier way to live, for it can be difficult to really confront in an objective way. Your unconscious mind can assist you in better understanding what you need and want in each of the relationships From there it is easy to reconstruct the relationships feeling good about those with whom you give the ability to influence you.

People today are under a lot of stress. It seems as if there is never enough time to take care of oneself, never mind getting done all the things that need to get done in any given day. Even positive situations like having a baby or starting a new job can create stress in your life.

You may feel the stress as a slightly sick feeling in your gut, or perhaps tightness in your neck or shoulders. Perhaps you have a backache that will not go away yet there is no physiological cause. What are those signals in your body telling you about your health? Continue »

We live in unbelievably stressful times. Ever since 9/11 our government has gone out of its way to create anxiety with what could happen if we allow terrorists to get into our country and cause us great harm. This is added to the fact that most people need two incomes to cover the basic living costs. With the stress we are under is it any wonder that some couples have a hard time with conception? Continue »

Wow! My first session with Suzanne accomplished more for resolving deep emotional issues than I had done in six years of therapy. After one afternoon with Suzanne, my depression is POOF — gone! My resentment about chores and work is POOF — gone! All cravings for comfort food and comfort activities (addictive computer game playing, escapist reading) are POOF — gone! Continue »