One would think that telling someone that you care would be as natural as eating and sleeping. In all too many cases this is not the way it is. It wasn’t until I read an article written by Victoria Rosner for the New York Times titled “Shall I let My son See His Dying Dad?” that this hit home for me.

When I read the article on my computer it had reminded me of a situation that occurred in my own life.The article was about a 2 year old boy who never knew his father. His father had walked away from his mother when she was pregnant with him. He just could not deal with the responsibility of having a family, it didn’t mean he didn’t care, or did it? How was this two year old to know?

When the father of the 2 year old found out he had months to live, he decided then he wanted to know his son, and for his son to have the chance to know him. The father sent a letter asking the mother permission to contact the boy. The mother to her credit allowed the father to have contact with the boy, despite all the advice of “friends” telling her things that although may have been true on some level such as “He left you and he doesn’t deserve to see his son”, she instead forgave whatever she had to allowing her son to know his father. (See January 2010 newsletter on Forgiveness.) Being allowed to see his father enables him to have a lasting sense of security with the knowledge that his father cared about him.

The article I read was originally titled “Shall I forgive Him one Last time?” and I find it rather interesting that it took having a date of dying for this father to realize that he wanted and needed to have the relationship with his son. It seems for when we know that we may not have that chance, we are more apt to act, rather than take one another for granted. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if we could just take the time now to show we care.

I realized that if my father had told me occasionally that he loved me, that he cared about me, that he was thinking of me even though he did not live with my mother and me, it would have made all the difference in my world. A simple call letting me know he cared about me would have been enough. Had my father occasionally sent a card or called on a birthday, had taken a few moments of time to show he cared, it would perhaps be a lot easier for me to believe him today, 50 years later when he says “I love you“. Left unspoken only my father knew in his heart that he cared. He never conveyed it to me or anyone else for that matter. Because it was left to the imagination, it became skewed and distorted over time.

To know that this man cares about his boy regardless of whether he could support him, or be a father to him for whatever reason, is probably the most important memory he will have of his father when he thinks of him 50 years from now or maybe even tomorrow. To just know that he was loved and cared for in his father’s heart means more than all the money, fancy houses and toys that could be bought. To just be told this and have it occasionally reinforced can mean everything to a person. Sometimes it can be even more important than having a parent there 24/7. Is it that hard to send a card, or to pick up a phone?

Too often we go about our daily lives assuming people know how we feel. It seems like they should just know, but do they? Why is it so hard to tell someone you care? Probably because it is easier to assume they just know. People need to be told they are cared about and appreciated.

In an article by Rick Nauert, PhD, titled “Emotional Wealth Trumps Financial Wealth” August 10, 2009, a study was done “…what we’ve found is that while money may be able to make people live more comfortable lives, it won’t necessarily contribute to life’s pleasant moments that come from engaging with people and activities rather than from material goods and luxuries.”

I know another person who has all the money in the world however is very alone and miserable. She was born into money and has never had to work a day in her life. She has no real reason or passion in her life, no reason to face the day. She constantly tries to buy love and companionship with her money. She has no sense of self love or worth and no purpose to her life. Even though she has all the money in the world what she is unable to buy is someone to tell her she is loved or cared for. She is unable to buy someone to tell her she matters in this world. It is a proven fact that money cannot buy happiness proven by all the countless lottery winners who end up broke and miserable. Money can never buy the love or care of another human being.

The simple act of telling someone you love or care about them can really turn a life around and make a huge difference in someone’s life, or even save a life. Hallmark Greeting Cards makes millions off this fact, and there are a million songs written as well on this fact. Stevie Wonder’s “I just called to say I loved you” comes to mind, amongst many others.

Had the people that showed they cared in my life not have shown it when they did, I may have felt isolated and alone as my cousin did and hanged myself. The fact that a few people really showed they cared about me made a huge difference in my world. There are billions of people in the world, no one should ever feel that alone.

Take Simon and Garfunkel’s “The Sounds Of Silence” “…a rock feels no pain and an island never cries.” When a person feels alone and as if no one cares they begin to feel void of their emotions to the point of becoming dead inside like a rock. They become increasingly more isolated and depressed, unable to live life. They become like a rock on an island.

In another study reported in the Scientific American, June of 2008, researcher Steven Cole of the University of California L.A. reported that people that suffer from chronic loneliness show a change in their gene activity which could predispose them to all sorts of illness from a simple cold to deadly cancer.

Too often people assume the other person knows how they feel.People need to feel other people care and they need to care about other people as well. It gives people a reason to live knowing they are cared about and have others to care for. Too often it is taken for granted. Too often it is left unsaid. Too often it is said too late.

Tell someone you love and care about them today. If you find it difficult to get in touch with your emotions for one reason or another, hypnosis can help you get unstuck, so you can once again feel the emotions that are so vital to one’s life. For it is when we can feel our emotions that we can feel empathy for another which is the basis for all fulfilling relationships.

Article written by Donna N.

I recently received news that a very dearly loved and respected uncle of mine passed away. In this particular case it was a matter of when, not if, given the man’s age, 94. He was one of those people who had done amazing things all through his life, yet was as humble as anyone could ever be. I will never forget the visit to his home I made with my ex-husband many years ago. As my uncle was showing us around his house, my ex excitedly pointed to a photo that was taken of my uncle and his older son along with President Kennedy. Being a person who lived in the state of Massachusetts all his life, this was an incredible thing to see, because President Kennedy was one of his own on top of being the President of his country. My uncle worked in the State Department of the United States government for many years and was posted in various countries throughout his service so it was not a real surprise that the President of the USA might have had a picture taken with him at some point during his tenure. I will certainly miss never being able to speak with him again, but there is not a loss here that will create any sort of issue for me. Unlike a few of my clients who have had some serious situations occur because of the losses they suffered.

A few years ago I had an 18 year old come to see me. She has having some difficulty with her hockey coach and they were going into their finals of the season. Normally this kid loved her hockey and did very well, but with the negative comments she was receiving from the coach, her desire to play had diminished as did her performance. Interestingly enough, during the first session as I was doing the work regarding the hockey situation, her mother who was invited by her daughter to sit in on the session, wrote a quick note to me asking if I could help her to deal with the loss of four of her close friends within the last few years. I nodded “yes” to her mother later on finding out that one of them used to be on her daughter’s team before her passing. In this particular case I had the young woman work on one loss at a time. While in a trance state, I had her go back to the last time she saw the person alive, and to tell me what went on at that time. Then she was asked to go back to when she heard of their passing and tell me where she was and what she was told by who about that person’s passing. From there she was asked to bring up the wake and just experience what she experienced, the funeral next paying particular attention to what was said in the eulogies and finally the grave site and anything that was said their about the person who passed away. She was then told that the person was always going to be a part of her because of the close relationship that they shared. It took about 15 minutes for us to go through each of the friends she had lost totaling an hour of work. Understand that teens are particularly quick while working with hypnosis, adults may take a longer period to accomplish the same thing. When my client came back for her follow-up a week later she felt very much relieved of her losses. She told me that she felt her hockey friend was with her each time she was on the ice playing. She reported that this felt very comforting to her. About a week after her second appointment I received a clipping from the local newspaper sent by her proud mother reporting that she was one of the star players who won the hockey championship for her school. I want you to notice that the young woman came in for increased hockey performance, and yet the more important work was a secondary issue that came up. This young woman wrote a very moving testimonial which is posted on this website under the name of: Alexandra D. You can find it at the bottom of the Home web page.

I had another client in her 30’s, who was having difficulty sticking to her running schedule to keep her in shape and at the weight she desired. She just didn’t have the motivation she used to and was fairly certain it had to do with the loss of her parents, both passing within months of each other. She had a very good relationship with both of them and had a difficult time moving on. I used a different technique with this woman being that she was older and as such needed to do some deeper work. While she was in a hypnotized state I had her imagine the parent that she wanted to work with first was in a place that was comfortable for them to talk to one another. From there I had her have a conversation with the parent and tell that parent everything that she ever wanted to tell them. She may have already told the parent some of the things, and that was okay. From there the parent was to respond to what she said and that lead to a loving hug. At that point I had her bring in all of the positive attributes of that parent into herself as she was still hugging the parent. When she felt that the process was completed she was to let me know. The last step was to see how the parent was doing on the other side. When this was done, she could see the parent was doing quite well and was there for her. We did the same exact thing for the other parent. With this accomplished the session was finished. She came back for her follow-up and reported that she felt much better and was now able to stick to her running schedule.

There were other clients that I have worked with that had terrible relationships with their parents and never made up with them before they passed. In these circumstances it is even more important to have the healing done in order to release the pain and any negative behaviors that may have been created as a result of that pain. I had one gentleman who was very angry with his father and never had a chance to say “good-bye”. He created all sorts of bad habits as a result. It was most moving when he realized how much he really truly loved his father and just never allowed himself to feel that before. He broke down in to tears of joy when he realized his true feelings. It was as if a whole new person came to life with that understanding. He was able to let go of an alcohol abuse issue and find himself a position that better suited him.

If you are a person who is feeling the loss of someone who was close to you and especially if it is controlling you in some negative fashion, do see a hypnotist to assist you to easily allow the person who was lost, to become an asset in your life. While assisting people in their grieving process I have come to understand that life is so much easier once you learn what you need to from that loss. This is some of the most inspirational work that I do with my clients and is almost always a surprise to them in terms of how they feel after the process is done.

It is important to understand that there are different types of depression. If you have just suffered a loss, you will lose interest in the things that you enjoy for a period of time; you will feel a lack of energy and perhaps eat more -or less- than you used to. Such behaviors are normal so long as you are able to function in your life. Continue »

Recently I had a client who could not understand why she was literally eating herself to death. She was in her 40’s and had been fairly healthy until recently; in the past, it was easy for her to go out running every day, which she had been doing to keep in shape ever since she was in the military. Yet, all of a sudden, there was no interest in running and she started eating sweets compulsively. What was going on here and could I help her with hypnosis? Continue »

Before I came to Suzanne, my confidence in myself was dwindling. I’ve played ice hockey for the past ten years, and all my experience in playing was worthless because I didn’t know how to believe in my abilities. Continue »