Are you feeling stressed with less energy than normal and perhaps feeling that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach? It almost feels as if you know that you need to do something, but you are not sure exactly what and everything else that you have been doing up till now hasn’t helped to alleviate any of these unwanted feelings that you have in your body.

If you fit this description at all it is probably because when you take the time to think about it there are too many demands on your time and money because too many people want something from you. It doesn’t really matter what, the fact is that you are tired, sick of spending money on things you may not need or want and just have a desire to be free of all of it. Perhaps you are soothing yourself by drinking to much alcohol, spending too many hours at the office because home is worse than work in your mind, or maybe you are spending money you don’t have for things that you know you don’t need… but it feels better to shop, doesn’t it? Maybe you are eating too much and even worse you are eating junk food, even though you know it makes you feel worse doing so, or maybe even perhaps you have decided to go get massages to relax you- it was innocent in the beginning, but now you are being “pleasured” by the lovely “massage therapist” and though it feels good in the moment you feel badly about yourself after the fact….but you can’t help yourself, because nothing else makes the negative feelings go away…but you know that it is only a temporary fix, and yet a temporary fix is better than no fix at all because you think you are losing your mind.

When most people feel this way they will go see are mental health professional who in most cases will write a prescription for some medication to help deal with the negative thoughts and behaviors. While this can help in some cases, it is not a cure. Just ask the folks who have been on medication for years that do in many cases feel better and yet if they were to stop their medications would most likely have their symptoms return.

The other problem that I personally have with medication as the cure-all of our 21st century manner of treatment would be the long term effects of the medication on the patient who is ingesting it. Keep in mind that your body has to detoxify the medication either through your liver or kidneys depending on the type of medication that is being used. Over the many years that most patients are kept on these very strong medications, damage to these life giving organs can and does happen. I had it happen in my own case with long term use of lithium for mood disorders and though the medication did its job, I found after over ten years of use it was starting to slow down my kidney function. This became apparent in the deforming of my thumb nails which were telling me that something was not right in my body. After 24 hour urine collection, it was discovered that my kidney function was not operating at the normal levels. In my case it was caught before permanent damage occurred. However, one always has to ask themselves if the treatment is worth the possible harm. In my case the lithium was a potential life saver, for most of the time I was taking it. My situation changed drastically when I learned how to do NLP and how to apply it to myself to conquer the bipolar for which the lithium was prescribed. Of course this was a shock to my long term psychiatrist when she noticed after 10 months of seeing her without being on medication of any sort, that indeed my bipolar was no longer in evidence. Everything was fine and that bipolar did not need to be what she was taught in her psychiatric training to be a “life long illness”. Since March 12, 2004 I have not been on any medication for my bipolar and since January 5, 2005 I have not needed to be under psychiatric care. Yes, medications do indeed have their place, and that place is necessary in far fewer situations than or allopathic world of today is willing to believe.

After working in the hypnotic arts for over seven years now, I can tell you that the reason that most people get ill has more to do with how you allow others to control you, than anything else. It is amazing that this idea is very rarely ever spoken of in the psychological literature. The specialist seem to believe a pill of some sort or cognitive behavioral therapy is the answer to most anything. I am here to give you a much more practical outlook on this whole situation.

The fact of the matter is that you are not “losing your mind” and there are reasons for acting and thinking and feeling in the way that you are currently. To make this very simple it is because you are allowing others to run your life for you. Yeah, we all want to get along with people and have friends and not have our significant others or our kids drive us nuts, or worse our parents and yet most times it seems to be easier to either ignore the problem or do something that will sedate us for a while to just get a break from it all.

The reason you find yourself in this situation is that your unconscious mind “runs” you whether or not you are aware of it and this is what makes it so difficult to stop doing the things that you want to stop and to do the things that you want to do. My guess is that if you were able to do the things the way you wanted you wouldn’t need to be reading this article. With that in mind do understand that the only way to reprogram your unconscious mind to receive the results you desire is to work inside the unconscious mind. This is what hypnotists and neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) practitioners assist their clients to do. It really doesn’t matter what the effect is, it is the “cause” that matters. In my experience in this field it always goes back to having your “boundaries” being over ridden by someone in your world, either when you were young or later on in life, perhaps some love interest cheating on you. The way to “STOP” your boundaries from being over ridden is to “STOP” allowing the people in your life to over ride them.

Now, that may sound easy enough to do, however do realize that most people with significant problems be they emotional or physical (as in having an illness) are allowing their boundaries to be over ridden ALL THE TIME and the way that you know this is because every time you have an interaction with someone and it results in your feeling something negative either emotionally like feeling anger, quilt or hurt or physically (in this case do see a physician to rule out physiological issues or to learn about what needs to be treated with the hypnotic work) because your body is letting you know in a different way that something is not working for you, your boundaries have been over ridden.

The good news is that there is a way to stop this unpleasant cycle of behavior, no matter what form or forms that it takes for you. That way is TO TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE BACK in a manner that is workable for everyone involved. It isn’t that complicated really; however there are more humane and ethical ways of doing this than most of us would be able to figure out on our own.

Using the power of you unconscious mind to first of all understand why it is that you are allowing yourself to feel miserable and then relearning that you are worthy because of the magnificent person you really are. Once you have regained a sense of self, you can indeed learn how to enforce the boundaries that help you feel safe and respected. In most cases
it will be quick and easy to reclaim your life your happiness and sense of fulfillment.
Here is what Laura in Boston, Mass. had to say about our work together:

Prior to working with Suzanne I found myself binging at night, half
asleep unable to control my behavior. In fact, I felt that way about
most of my life – as if there were a part which was continuously
sabotaging my efforts. I had many types of therapists over the years,
some of whom were reasonably helpful, but even combined they were
nothing compared to Suzanne. The fact that I am no longer night-eating
or overeating, and the fact that I am no longer so angry and stifled, are
merely examples of my new reality: I’m on my way to being truly free.
Suzanne was able to clear all the causes of my problems in a few weeks.
I had no idea the results would be this phenomenal.”

You may have a different presenting problem than Laura’s, however, if anger, depression, anxiety, self-loathing are any part of how you feel currently, you too can be freed of these negative feelings, usually in one weekend of intensive work up to around a month later if you were to work with me. This really depends on how quickly you personally integrate the changes. Please note that If you have a lot of weight to lose (more than 30 pounds) or have medical issues that complicate your case, it will take longer to receive your results, however, you will FEEL MUCH BETTER on your way to reaching your goal, and that means you will have given yourself a MUCH BETTER QUALITY OF LIFE and don’t you deserve that much?

Do understand that if you are looking for a competent person to help you with these issues I would suggest that you find someone who is a Master Practitioner of NLP and Time Line Therapy ™ if at all possible because these techniques allow for much quicker results than straight suggestive hypnosis. You can contact the American Board of NLP or The Time Line Therapy ™ to get a referral to someone who practices almost anywhere in the world. You can find them through contacting the Tad James Company, Inc. Just google them on the internet or call: 888-440-4823 and they will be happy to connect you to the boards for a referral to a competent practitioner in your area.

Hypnosis and NLP have managed to turn my whole life around and know that it can do the same for you so long as you are willing to make the investment in yourself that will be required to do the work.

Over the past few years I have been working with men who call themselves sexual compulsives. The reason being is that they are always thinking about it, on the web looking at internet porn sites or looking for woman who will give them some relief. In many cases it is distracting them from more productive use of their time and creating issues in their relationships with their significant other if they have one. In many cases they do not, because they do not know how to be in a long term relationship with another. These men look like any body else you may know and many are professionals.

Experts believe that between 6 and 10% of the American public experiences real problems with sexual compulsivity or inappropriate sexual expression. Sexual compulsion is like many other forms of compulsion including eating disorders and drug and alcohol abuse: a destructive expression or what would other wise be a normal activity of life. The thing that makes it a compulsion is the inability of the person to control their sexual actions. In my clients the need for arousal is more important than the need for any sort of intimacy. I have also noticed in my practice that about 80% of the men who come in with this problem have some sort of sexual abuse in their history, usually before they were sexually active themselves. This creates a feeling of inferiority and shame. In about 30% of my cases the sexual abuse was done by some relative that was older then them. In another 30% it started out innocently enough by “playing doctor” with the opposite gendered sibling that went on for many years, sometimes into the late teens and early 20’s. In none of these cases did the client speak with the person about the abuse or about the long term sexual relations they had with their siblings after the fact. About half of the men who have come in to see me have tried therapy of one kind or another, but it did not work. About half of them have tried SLAA the 12-step program for sexual compulsives and found no help there either.

Here are some statistics that are useful when looking at this group as a whole, taken from Patrick Carnes, Ph.D. who did a study filled out by sex addicts who had been admitted for treatment to a Minnesota hospital or had spent at least three years in a 12-step program for sexual addiction. He had 752 male and 180 females. 63% were heterosexual, 18% were homosexual, 11% were bisexual and 8% were unsure of their sexual preference.

Loss of self-esteem was reported by 97%, 96% reported feeling guilt or shame, 91% had feelings of hopelessness and 90% stated they were acting in ways that went against their own values. 81% reported a history of sexual abuse and 42% also had a dependency on drugs or alcohol. Eating disorders were involved in 38%.

There is a biochemical reason according to Carnes and others as to why the addictive behavior happens. It is because the sensation of orgasm originates in you mind, in the form of neurotransmitters which happen in the limbic system where emotions, desires, drives and impulses occur. What happens is that over a period of time, an addiction lowers the dopamine level which creates a sense that “something is missing” which is the basis of addictive behavior. The addict learns that this behavior creates a higher than average response which may be the trigger to a feeling of relief from the low dopamine level.

Mark Kastleman in his article, “How Internet Pornographers Market to Men vs. Women” explains that the male brain responds with more intensity and speed with visual stimuli then woman do. With this known the internet pornographers use every sort of visual media available to lure in the male viewers. Men also tend to be attracted to anonymous, nude females for sex with their total focus on the physical act of sex. With 20 times the testosterone in males than females they like to see things done to the females with the male dominating. These images have no connection to love, romance or passion. The main idea is for the more cellular memory the pornographers can link to their porn throughout the male brain and body, the greater chance they have of addicting their viewers. The more naturally occurring the testosterone, adrenaline and hormones flow through the viewer the more intense the arousal, the more deeply the images will be imprinted in his memory the greater the addiction. The pornographers want the male to bring himself to completion with his sexual act. The problem with this is that the men no longer want to create the intimacy of a real relationship because the porn is there 24 hours a day giving them exactly what they desire without any thing they have to do but please themselves. This can happen with or without a mate involved.

According to Mark Roinett, MFT, there are stages to the sexual addiction cycle. The first stage is the “pain agent”, which begins the cycle of addiction. They then go into the second stage which is dissociation to separate self from feelings. If nothing is done at this stage then the person goes into an altered state, a trance state where the person starts acting out the by making a phone call to a sex line or to find a woman to physically release himself sexually with. The next stage is the behavior itself and the final stage is the time that elapses till the next “pain agent” comes around to start the cycle over again.

Roinett believes that it is necessary to dissolve the problem by the first stage where the “pain agent” is to be understood. This is the cause of the problem. He goes on to suggest that if it is not caught in that stage it can be dealt with during the dissociation phase, but after that stage it becomes more difficult to deal with the problem at hand.

As a hypnotist it is interesting to note that a “trance” state is indeed a part of the process. If you are a person who suffers with this problem I have found that the problem can be expeditiously taken care of by using the power of the unconscious mind. While in the state of trance you can come to understand how it is that you came to be the way you are. I have found that desensitizing trauma, forgiveness work, along with suggestive therapy around letting go of the addiction are very potent means to rid my clients of their sexual compulsions.

If you are interested in using hypnosis as a means to rid your self or someone you know with this problem make sure that the person you employ has had success in handling these cases. It is also helpful if they have some understanding of neuro-linguistic programming as well. You can find this out by checking out their websites for writings about this subject as well as testimonials from their clients that have been able to let go of this particular problem.