Sep 15 2014

When someone says “I need help”, offer helping hands without agenda – Vol.150, May 25, 2012

Hands Helping Hands (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Over the last few months I have been working with clients who have had others pay for their services be it a parent or a spouse, ex-partner and even an employer in one case. The person who is paying for the services wants the client to be healthier and happier or so they believe. In many cases this is true such as the mother of a 15 year old who brought her daughter in because her daughter was not making any progress with the conventional therapy she was undergoing for the past 3 ½ years. The daughter suggested to her mother that hypnosis may be a more productive way for her to go. She asked her mother to find a hypnotist to help her to finally release her problem. In this case the daughter did indeed receive the results that the mother wanted for her daughter it being exactly what the daughter wanted.  In this case everything worked out well on all sides.

What one needs to always keep in mind is that the work that is being done is for the benefit of the client first and foremost. There can never be another person’s agenda attached to the outcome. I as the practitioner, do my best to allow for the client to be supported in realizing the highest and best outcome possible based on what the client desires. What this means is that whatever the client feels is in his or her best interest in the long run so long as it is safe and appropriate is what needs to be respected. Sometimes it works in favor of the payer’s agenda and other times it does not. In some cases such as with a college student I am currently working with, she has indeed achieved the results her mother wanted for her – to be in college and doing well while holding down a part-time job. The only problem is that her daughter is no longer choosing to live with her for her own reasons one being that her mother lives a bit far from both the college that she is attending and the retail establishment that she is employed in. Now that the client has a car of her own it is less of an issue yet, she prefers to live closer to these two venues than where her mother is currently living.

There is one other issue when it comes to one paying for another”s care unless we are talking of a minor (a child who is under the age of majority). Generally speaking, the client will attain better results if they pay something toward their own care. We are repeatedly told in our trainings that if someone receives care without investing their own money there is no real investment by the client to make to be sure that the work is taken seriously. I have found in doing barters and even in some of the cases that I have allowed a sliding fee that this is the case. We as humans are generally more willing to work hard if we have a decent amount of our own money at risk – invested in the process. So keep this in mind as well. If you are going to pay for someone to see a professional person where money is coming out of pocket and that person has any way to put some of his/her money into the pot, the results are almost always going to be better than if there in no investment expected of the client. I am not saying this is true all time because I have had some clients who have had their partners and friends pay for the services that I have given who have done as well as anyone who paid full price for the work. What I am saying though is that it is a far better idea to create some sort of payback for the services rendered.

That being said, I have had several very young people come in to see me who have managed to pay their own way even if with monthly payments over a long period of time and I can honestly tell you they are responsible for some of the more challenging and thus amazing results for the investments they made in themselves. Each of them was clear that it was time to finally handle the issue at hand, the issue having taken over their young lives, and each of them followed through with the treatment to the very end regardless of sometimes not thinking to kindly of me for forcing them out of the proverbial boxes they had put themselves in – a sometimes hairy situation and yet it was necessary for the growth which allowed the client to reach the outcome s/he desired.

If you find yourself in one of these situations think clearly through whether you have a “hidden agenda” for the client and if you do, do yourself and the client a favor and let it go. The only way to allow one to heal is to allow the client to do what is necessary for the healing to take, no strings attached ever.


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Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
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