What Creates An Emotionally Toxic Environment? You May Be Surprised – Vol. 213, August 15, 2013
One of the more interesting aspects of being in the profession that I am is getting a sense of how people interact with others on a very deep and personal level. Yes, one can and does learn much about their friends and the negative things that may be going on in their relationships. However, on this end of things, not only does one get to hear about what is going on, one gets to understand why it is allowed to go on. In this weblog I am going to educate you a bit about what I have learned from being on this side of the fence. You may find it fascinating. However, what I truly hope you will do is assess the relationships that you have in your life and make a decision to up the anti into healthier more productive ones if warranted.
I want you to think about the relationships that you have in your life.
For too many of my clients they are in relationships that are toxic and they never really realized it. These things happen so subtly over a long period of time. No one wants to think of their relationships as being toxic. One way you can determine this is the way that you feel once you have been in the company of a person. Does this person energize you or sap you of all your energy? Does this person care about you? Is this person interested in the things that you are doing in your life?
Closer to home:
Do you have a spouse who is loving and interested in what you are doing in your life? Or do you have a spouse that seems to be centered on what is going on in his/her life without much desire to know much of anything that is going on in yours?
Do you have a spouse that is very jealous of your friends and family? Your spouse will do anything to keep you from spending any time with them?
Is your spouse angry with you and you have no understanding why?
Do you have a kid who is dependent on you for their needs, yet is angry and hostile never listening to anything that you have to say?
Do you have friends that call and only want to complain about all that is wrong with their world and rarely if ever allow you to speak about what is going on in your life?
Are you a person who has many vague symptoms that the doctors can’t really treat effectively?
Are you a person who gets into accidents a lot?
If you answered “yes” to any of these I have a question for you: What are you getting out of being involved in these relationships?
There are a few reasons why people stay in these relationships.
The first is that there is a feeling of being needed. However, in any relationship that is healthy especially when it comes to those with other adults, being needed will only create a sense of dependence resulting in anger. The only reason to be in any relationship is because you “want” to be in it.
The second is because you feel you are supposed to be in this relationship. I had a client who was in a relationship with a spouse because the rest of her family thought the man was a perfect catch. The only problem is that they have nothing in common and really aren’t in love. It is an empty marriage and one that she is working on releasing herself from.
The third is because you haven’t any real idea on how to set boundaries in your household with your children. Since when was it okay to allow your dependent child to be abusive to you? The day you will stop the abuse is the day you no longer allow it. If your kid is angry with you, that is quite fine – because just maybe your kid will learn how to respect you instead of creating the stress that you are dealing with in your world. If your kid is an adult, it is time to invite him/her to find their own place since they are smarter than you anyway from their perspective. With this attitude on their behallf allow them to move on.
You will find that when you exit these toxic relationships some very interesting things will result. First you will find yourself feeling much healthier, no longer feeling strangulated by these suffocating relationships. Second, you will find that you will have more respectful relationships with those that you draw clear boundaries with in terms of acceptable behavior. And, lastly, you will find that you will be attracting much healthier relationships into your life. All because you were willing to let go of the toxins and bring in some nice clean energy into your the realm of your relationships.
Relationships are so important to how it is that we feel about ourselves. Trust me that if you are feeling down on yourself, this is a great place to begin to start feeling much better about who you are and what you are doing here. Extra benefit, you will find yourself physically healthier and no longer having accidents if either of these were happening too often in your life.
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms for the Mind and Soul is a book of essays based on the wisdom gained through those who have touched me through my own journey in life. Purchase an inspiring copy today from the Dawning Visions Hypnosis Store.Learnings From My Journey: Suzannisms For the Mind and Soul
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