If You Want the Chronic Symptoms to Go Away, Stop the Stressors – Vol. 425, Oct. 26, 2019
I can’t tell you how many times I find myself working with people who have chronic illnesses where the symptoms get to the point where they just can’t live with them anymore. The doctors give them medication to help alleviate the symptoms, and yet, the symptoms are still there. What is going on?
If you are a person who suffers from migraine headaches, fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome, for example, you may just find your symptoms lesson if you take better control of your personal boundaries. For example, if you are a mother and your parents are telling you when they are going to visit the grandkids, and that time is not good for you, you need to let them know that it is you, the parent, who decides when the visits are happening, not they. I bring this particular example up because I had two clients with severe migraine headaches because their parents were dictating the calendar when the parents were retired and while the client had small kids with a schedule to follow. Once these two women took control of the time when the visits occurred, times that were suitable for the family as a whole, the migraines disappeared.
Boundaries are so important because all too often we want to please other people, not let them down, and in so doing we are putting ourselves out of the way. There are also those times when you would rather not put up with negative or abusive behavior for standing your ground. When this happens and you are suffering from a chronic condition, your condition is going to flare up, letting you know that your body is not happy with the overrunning of your own personal boundaries.
If you are in an abusive relationship and you are suffering from a chronic condition, your body is going to let you know that you need to make a change.
I had a client not that long ago who had an adult child who was a drug dealer. This kid was always getting into trouble and the mother was always getting stomach aches. It was her body letting her know that she needed to be out of this situation because there was not a thing she could do to make her son stop his illegal and damaging behavior. The best she could do for herself was find a different living situation for herself, which she did. She is still concerned about her son and wants the best for him, but she no longer has to have her emotional space violated every day, never knowing what is going to happen. Some days he would be kind and considerate and other days he could be abusive all depending on the drugs that he may or may not have ingested and the people that he was hanging around at any particular moment.
I had an older client who had a husband who was very frustrated with the fact that he couldn’t remember where he put things or when to pay the bills, etc. She did her best to get him to organize his papers, but he was unwilling to do so. Well, they would have arguments and as a result, she would end up feeling very depressed and would sometimes develop pains in her body as well. In this case, we found out what the underlying problem was for the husband and it was taken care of as best it could be. Things were quite a bit better for them from there since they better understood why his memory was not as good as it once was, though not perfect.
If you have an illness like congestive heart failure or diabetes, you have to eat appropriate food. So many times people are out with others and they are tempted to eat things that their body just can’t handle. Well, if you want to feel good, staying away from those irritating or damaging items is what you need to do. In the case of congestive heart failure, salt is a no-no as sugar is to a diabetic, including alcoholic beverages that are made from sugar.
We were all given a brain, which can help us if we are willing to listen to the indicators that it gives us. The problem is that all too often we fail to listen to the signals given to us, creating worse problems later. Please, listen to your body. If there are people in your life that are making it more painful for you to live, you need to do something to create better boundaries. There is no reason to continue to put your body and mind into these situations. Because, in the end, the only person that is responsible to help you is you, right?
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