Vol. 191, March 9, 2012
Online dating is a $4 billion industry, with over 40 million people involved as of the statistics for 2010 here in the United States. As a divorced woman for a few years now, I have found fraud on both the paid sites and the free sites, so use your brain when using both. The screening mechanisms are only as reliable as the respondent’s answers. What this means is that you best beware what you are dealing with, being smart upfront doing your own screening process. If it is too good to be true, it most likely is. This isn’t to say that one can’t meet a decent person online. I know a few people who have. However, I would like you to think about your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well being as you go about finding a suitable partner. Because the reality is that even when we think we know someone, as when we are introduced to someone by a friend, we still have no way of really knowing what that person is capable of under pressure until we are willing to see the truth for what it is. Sadly, few people are willing to do this wanting to believe that the person they are with is “the one”, desperate for love and companionship. Please do yourself a favor and keep your wits about you. From my own experiences, though there have been some positive dates, this can indeed be a rough world to navigate for many will hide behind the computer pretending to be something they are not, or interested in you when indeed they have other agendas in mind.
I signed up for a few different sites over the years finding that even the paid sites had people who were out there trying to scam me. I had one guy who said he lived in California and wanted to meet me. The only problem was that he needed me to send him some money. Why would a man need me to send him money if I am the one to do the travel? Obviously this was a scammer. I found this to be true when I went online to google his name after this rather curious request finding no one anywhere was listed with his particular name as he claimed it to be.
There was another man that I met on another site and we only messaged back and forth on the site a few times. That was a good thing given that at first he gave me the idea that he was a successful business man. A couple of messages later he was asking me to send $5,000 over to him in Nigeria. He said his son had come down with malaria and he hadn’t any way to access his own money for medical care and no way to get back home to the US. Needless to say, yet another scam.
I have met emotionally unstable men and even one who had no idea in how to curb his own sexually disgusting needs. It didn’t go far since we were outside in public and both clothed, needless to say it was an uncomfortable situation.
Even the “nice” ones who are wiling to take me out, yet have little interest in any of the things that I care about, are not dating material so far as I am concerned. For any relationship to become something more there has to be some shared interests and a willingness to be present for one another.
As bad as these experiences of mine were, beware of the fact that 10% of those who are online dating are sexual offenders. They will lie about who they are putting up fake profiles so you won’t know.
Men will lie about their age, height and income while woman will lie about their age and weight using older pictures. Even with these statistics, 17% of married couples met online. (http://americasbride.com/blog/2012/07/online-dating-service-statistics-marriage-statistics/) .
Lastly, do think about the issue regarding sexually transmitted diseases. The huffingtonpost.com article “STD Facts: Shocking Statistics You May Not Know About STDS” states that one in two sexually active young people will have a STD by the time they are 25 years old. There are more than 19 million reported cases every year. This doesn’t even count those who are without symptoms and unknowingly spreading disease. One would think that people would think this through before going forward with a virtual stranger. However, once the hormones get running, the sexual relations take place and before one knows it one is given a STD. Men are not very good about using condoms or even being prepared, I have found out. Women need to take this under consideration as well as the need for birth control if this is still an issue to be contended with.
I have to say that I go on and off about the whole on-line dating deal. It is one thing to go out to meet people and have a good time. It is quite another to get one’s hopes up only to find that you found yourself in yet another frustrating, emotionally time consuming situation without any hope of it becoming what one would want. At this time, I am quite contented just going about doing those things that bring meaning to my own life. For you the choice may be different. Just make sure that you are being honest with yourself and good luck on your search.
Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?
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Do I have a Sex Addiction? Now What?
About Suzanne
Suzanne Kellner-Zinck founded Dawning Visions Hypnosis in 2002, She has become an innovator in the use of hypnotism and neuro-linguistic programming in the areas of obsessive compulsive disorders such as: eating disorders, sexual addiction and substance abuse as well as working with those with anxiety and mood disorders.
Her clients have come to work with her from across the United States and as far away as Africa to help them to finally be freed from these emotional issues that once ruled their lives. Today she is in the process of bringing her work to many more in the form of ebooks and other downloadable formats.
She is a member of American Holistic Medical Association and the American College for Advancement in Medicine.
Prior to founding Dawning Visions Hypnosis, Kellner-Zinck worked within vendor programs for the mentally ill working to help them to live up to their fullest potential. Many of her previous clients were able to move out on their own and find fulfilling work.
Kellner-Zinck is a Certified Trainer of Hypnosis and Neuro-Linguistic programing through Tad James Company, Inc. and a Master Hypnotist and Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through Advanced Neuro Dynamics. She holds a bachelor’s degree in education and political studies from Curry College.
Dawning Visions Hypnosis is teaching people that they can indeed leave their unwanted behaviors behind as they move forward to living fulfilling and joy filled lives.